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I've been living with a guy for 5 years . He is much younger than me but we were happy but now he says he wants to be friends and go out with someone else. Obviously I'm heartbroken as I've been relegated to friend.the trouble is he cant afford to move out so I have to watch him go off under my nose. It's so painful I cant function. He has aspergers so doesn't understand why I am struggling. For him straightforward he wants this and why cant I deal with the rejection. Anyone got any advice I am collapsing under the pain

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Not really and no it's in my name. Because of aspergers bit of a loner. Think that's why I found him so addictive. He only wanted to be with me .

 

Where did he live before he moved in with you? Was he homeless?

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I've been living with a guy for 5 years . He is much younger than me but we were happy but now he says he wants to be friends and go out with someone else. Obviously I'm heartbroken as I've been relegated to friend.the trouble is he cant afford to move out so I have to watch him go off under my nose. It's so painful I cant function. He has aspergers so doesn't understand why I am struggling. For him straightforward he wants this and why cant I deal with the rejection. Anyone got any advice I am collapsing under the pain

 

While he might struggle with emotions he is not stupid, he has Aspergers only! He understands finance and where is income lies.

What matters is your emotions. So kick him out.

You are not his carer.

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You're allowing him to run the show under your dime. With that said, if he can choose to date someone else while living with you, he's capable of choosing where he can live that lifestyle.

 

I'd also tell him you were born at night but it wasn't last night, followed by showing him the door.

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Not really and no it's in my name. Because of aspergers bit of a loner. Think that's why I found him so addictive. He only wanted to be with me .

 

Try and heal yourself first before making any moves. Right now you're paralyzed in pain. I get that feeling. Cry all you need to cry but you really ought to have a pep talk with yourself and start thinking about ways to straighten out this mess. You're overly sympathetic to his aspergers and he's taking advantage of you (with or without whatever special circumstances he's in). If you need to discuss alternate options with him, start doing so. Both of you have to come to some adult/mature agreement as living together and dating others is not ideal.

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I'd tell him that I'm not running a flop house. He can afford to date, so he can afford to find another place to live. I'd give him a week to find a room to rent and be out of here, or he'll find the locks have been changed and he'll need a police escort to retrieve his stuff.

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Thank you for those wise words. Yes the pain is overwhelming and I know I have to sort this mess out. I seem unable to rationalise what I need to do. Today I feel a bit more together so that's at least something. Love is a funny thing. Can give you the best days of your life but also the worst

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Give him 30 days notice. You're not his mom.

 

Naah, 30 days would be reasonable for a reasonable 'tenant'. You don't owe someone who rubs your nose in their disloyalty 30 days of torture for YOU. He played this stupidly by breaking up before he was prepared to walk away, so he can go couch surf or use his 'date' money on a boarding room or hotel or storage cube or whatever--but that's his problem.

 

He had the 30 days before HE broke up to sort out where he plans to go.

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