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I am 15, very young i know, I started a combination pill on 17th of April, 2019. BUT i had unprotected sex on the 20th of april, before the pills were in full effect against pregnancy. He did NOT finish in me but precum exists and i was ovulating. Today i am ONE day late on my placebo/period and as you can imagine i am very worried. i have BPD. i believe that may have been a factor to my bad decision. I don’t know if i’m pregnant or if my body just isn’t used to the pills yet. i don’t think abortion is an option, but i don’t really know because i haven’t talked with my trusted adult. i have strange living arrangements. i have heard of many back alley abortion methods and have taken them into consideration. i do not care about my well being enough to care if i could get really hurt/die. i know i should take the responsibility of my mistake but i do not want to. i will take a pregnancy test on sunday. maybe, if i can get my hands on one. but basically that is my story and can anyone point me in the right direction or ANYTHING. i’m very lost and disappointed (in myself)

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I highly doubt you are pregnant. Doctors and manufacturers state the pill will be in full effect by a week in order to cover their butt legally. Three days should be enough time to be quite effective at preventing pregnancy. Your body is likely readjusting to the pill, and/or your period may have changed (become lighter, nonexistant, or delayed cycle). Take a test if you want to be sure.

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Yeah, I've been in that situation a few times. There was a time I had to buy pregnancy tests every month because my girlfriend would be late. However the situation is in the reverse for me, she was quitting the pill. She even skipped menstruating a month while we had unprotected sex (without me finishing in her). But to be honest, I would never go to a point where there was even a chance I'd cum. It was mostly just to start with for a minute and then put on a condom.

However, she never got pregnant. And I have heard (but I'm not 100% sure!) that while precum can make you pregnant, the chance is much... much lower. So take a pregnancy test and hope you were lucky this time. Next time, dont do what many people do (including me) and just use a condom from the beginning. Give it a few months so you can feel certain the pill is working. That feeling of uncertainty whether someone is pregnant is pretty heavy. Unsafe sex with the chance of becoming pregnant really isn't worth those feelings...

 

Edit: I just remembered that we also had unprotected sex once and I did cum inside her... Worst anxiety of my life for a few weeks as she didn't want to take Plan B. Yeah, don't do it. Chance of pregnancy is low, but learn from this. Don't be like me and still think a minute doesn't matter. The anxiety is much worse than the positive feeling in the moment.

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“i do not care about my well being enough to care if i could get really hurt/die. i know i should take the responsibility of my mistake but i do not want to.”

 

It’s not your choice to take responsibility of your mistake should you fall pregnant.

You just simply are responsible.

And the options after falling pregnant are abortion , keep the child or put up for adoption.

That IS your responsibility whether you like it or not.

 

If you can’t get your hands on a pregnancy test , how are you going to get a back alley abortion?

The latter I would not recommend because while there is a low risk of death , there is a high risk of infection , sepsis leading to arms and legs amputated.

Do you really not care about that?

 

I think you need to talk to your carer about this. Not a forum.

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If you are "stressed and want advice, not criticism" the best approach would be to consult a professional. Make an appointment with a doctor or clinic. In general you can use condoms to help protect against STDS. Also talk to a pharmacist about emergency contraception. Additionally see a doctor to discuss the BPD and determine if it's being properly managed, if you feel you are making poor decisions as a result of it. .

I am 15, i have BPD. I started a combination pill on 17th of April, 2019. BUT i had unprotected sex on the 20th of april, before the pills were in full effect against pregnancy.
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To be fair, most of the parents would be angry or disappointed when these things happen, however they would not wish harm for their own child. If you are absolutely sure that you want an abortion then you should tell your parents. Yes, they might be upset and angry initially but they should help you, if nothing less, going at least to the clinic so you don't have to go to the back alley stuff which could be really dangerous. I know you said you don't care for your well being but lets really be honest here, if you do the illegal abortion stuff and nothing happens to you, over the years you probably feel guilty and tell your parents anyway. Do you think they would react any less than if you told them now? If anything they would be more angry that their own child didn't come to them when they needed serious help. So please go tell your parents and then make decisions together with their help. If you know absolutely what you want to do then tell them that. I really don't see a reason to keep this a secret at your age. At least if you were an adult, you can do whatever you want and not have to have a need for an adult to be with you with whatever decisions you make.

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I highly doubt you are pregnant. Doctors and manufacturers state the pill will be in full effect by a week in order to cover their butt legally. Three days should be enough time to be quite effective at preventing pregnancy. Your body is likely readjusting to the pill, and/or your period may have changed (become lighter, nonexistant, or delayed cycle). Take a test if you want to be sure.

 

thank you! this actually helps with my worries. i will still take the test to be sure!

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You should also be backing up the pills with condoms. The pill is not 100%, and you need to prevent STDs.

 

you’re right. i will definitely take this and apply it to my future decisions.

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To be fair, most of the parents would be angry or disappointed when these things happen, however they would not wish harm for their own child. If you are absolutely sure that you want an abortion then you should tell your parents. Yes, they might be upset and angry initially but they should help you, if nothing less, going at least to the clinic so you don't have to go to the back alley stuff which could be really dangerous. I know you said you don't care for your well being but lets really be honest here, if you do the illegal abortion stuff and nothing happens to you, over the years you probably feel guilty and tell your parents anyway. Do you think they would react any less than if you told them now? If anything they would be more angry that their own child didn't come to them when they needed serious help. So please go tell your parents and then make decisions together with their help. If you know absolutely what you want to do then tell them that. I really don't see a reason to keep this a secret at your age. At least if you were an adult, you can do whatever you want and not have to have a need for an adult to be with you with whatever decisions you make.

 

i know. i know this SO much. i’m currently dealing with CPS and being put into new a home. because of my past experience with adults/parents i’m just very VERY scared of disappointing them.

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“i do not care about my well being enough to care if i could get really hurt/die. i know i should take the responsibility of my mistake but i do not want to.”

 

It’s not your choice to take responsibility of your mistake should you fall pregnant.

You just simply are responsible.

And the options after falling pregnant are abortion , keep the child or put up for adoption.

That IS your responsibility whether you like it or not.

 

If you can’t get your hands on a pregnancy test , how are you going to get a back alley abortion?

The latter I would not recommend because while there is a low risk of death , there is a high risk of infection , sepsis leading to arms and legs amputated.

Do you really not care about that?

 

I think you need to talk to your carer about this. Not a forum.

 

You’re very right but right now i am at a point in life where i’ve attempted suicide many times, been to the psychiatric hospital, i’m dealing with CPS right now, and so much more that really just ain’t helping. I don’t want to sound pathetic but life sounds so trivial. I know this is MY mistake and I have to own up to it, right? but anyway i’m usually more responsible and more thoughtful. i don’t exactly have the freedom to reach out for help. this was my easiest option because i have many mental disorders and i wanted to settle my mind at ease before i made rash decisions. but yes you’re right, i won’t deny that. but i don’t care. sorry

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Yeah, I've been in that situation a few times. There was a time I had to buy pregnancy tests every month because my girlfriend would be late. However the situation is in the reverse for me, she was quitting the pill. She even skipped menstruating a month while we had unprotected sex (without me finishing in her). But to be honest, I would never go to a point where there was even a chance I'd cum. It was mostly just to start with for a minute and then put on a condom.

However, she never got pregnant. And I have heard (but I'm not 100% sure!) that while precum can make you pregnant, the chance is much... much lower. So take a pregnancy test and hope you were lucky this time. Next time, dont do what many people do (including me) and just use a condom from the beginning. Give it a few months so you can feel certain the pill is working. That feeling of uncertainty whether someone is pregnant is pretty heavy. Unsafe sex with the chance of becoming pregnant really isn't worth those feelings...

 

Edit: I just remembered that we also had unprotected sex once and I did cum inside her... Worst anxiety of my life for a few weeks as she didn't want to take Plan B. Yeah, don't do it. Chance of pregnancy is low, but learn from this. Don't be like me and still think a minute doesn't matter. The anxiety is much worse than the positive feeling in the moment.

 

this is probably one of the biggest reliefs i’ve read so far. thank you! obviously i’m going to be safer in the future, i can’t take this stress!

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Take a pregnancy test. Go to a Planned Parenthood in your area. They also give out free condoms.

 

Additionally, consider not having sex until you feel mentally strong enough to deal with the consequences. Best of luck you, as well, on your CPS placement.

 

You are young. You will make mistakes. Your carers, past, present and future, know this. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, because that's how you learn. What have you learned from this one?

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Take a pregnancy test. Go to a Planned Parenthood in your area. They also give out free condoms.

 

Additionally, consider not having sex until you feel mentally strong enough to deal with the consequences. Best of luck you, as well, on your CPS placement.

 

You are young. You will make mistakes. Your carers, past, present and future, know this. Don't be afraid to make mistakes, because that's how you learn. What have you learned from this one?

 

thank you so much! i’ve definitely learned to be more responsible and thoughtful.

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You sound like you're doing better today than you were yesterday.

 

Find a pregnancy test and take it, as others have advised. I'm no expert, but I've been on the male side of a few scares in the course of this growing up business, and the odds here are very slim. Get the results, and go from there. Deep breaths at every step, and one step at a time.

 

You don't need me to tell you that life is tough—sounds like you've had a lifetime of toughness thrown your way in your 15 years. Sucks. My teens were pretty rocky too, and a few of the adults in my life who were there to look out for me didn't come anywhere close to fulfilling those roles. But it does get better, it really does. If you don't always believe that remember that this random internet person said so and maybe find a half a second of relief in that. Those half a seconds add up, over time.

 

You're allowed to make mistakes. It's what humans do. It's okay, whatever the mistake, and it's always an opportunity to learn. Hard lives make for quick learners, and I get the feeling you're one of them. That's not nothing; in fact, it's a lot.

 

And, yeah, like WithLove, I'd encourage you to take this moment to just rethink sex a bit. It's fun, feels good, is a great distraction from hard times, and can be part of all sorts of magic with the right person. But the price of admission to all that is a lot of emotional swings and some potentially life changing consequences. No need to rush into all that until your confident you can handle it.

 

Best of luck with it all, and keep us posted. We're here to listen to you and help however we can.

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You sound like you're doing better today than you were yesterday.

 

Find a pregnancy test and take it, as others have advised. I'm no expert, but I've been on the male side of a few scares in the course of this growing up business, and the odds here are very slim. Get the results, and go from there. Deep breaths at every step, and one step at a time.

 

You don't need me to tell you that life is tough—sounds like you've had a lifetime of toughness thrown your way in your 15 years. Sucks. My teens were pretty rocky too, and a few of the adults in my life who were there to look out for me didn't come anywhere close to fulfilling those roles. But it does get better, it really does. If you don't always believe that remember that this random internet person said so and maybe find a half a second of relief in that. Those half a seconds add up, over time.

 

You're allowed to make mistakes. It's what humans do. It's okay, whatever the mistake, and it's always an opportunity to learn. Hard lives make for quick learners, and I get the feeling you're one of them. That's not nothing; in fact, it's a lot.

 

And, yeah, like WithLove, I'd encourage you to take this moment to just rethink sex a bit. It's fun, feels good, is a great distraction from hard times, and can be part of all sorts of magic with the right person. But the price of admission to all that is a lot of emotional swings and some potentially life changing consequences. No need to rush into all that until your confident you can handle it.

 

Best of luck with it all, and keep us posted. We're here to listen to you and help however we can.

 

i really appreciate you taking the time out of your day to “guide” me so to speak. i try to make every mistake a lesson and apply everything i learn to life. i didn’t take anything you said lightly or this situation lightly.

thank you. just thank you. bless ❤️

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