Rdunsany Posted May 8, 2019 Share Posted May 8, 2019 In short, my ex-gf broke up with me about a year ago. We had been together for a little over 3 years and she broke things off because she felt like her life had become unmoored and wanted to figure her life out. She felt that being with me (and my two kids, who are not hers) was hindering that because it was the only path she could take while we were together. I should also say that, though when we were good, we were amazing, the year+ preceding the breakup were awful. She was pulling away during that time and I found myself unable to break things off despite realizing what was happening and being enormously unhappy. It was an incredibly hard breakup for me and I felt like I was having a constant panic attack for weeks after. Even after the initial hurt subsided, I found it tough to move on. But, eventually, I did move on. I started dating again. I've been seeing someone now for about 3 months and it is going great, but extremely fast. We went exclusive on our 5th date (spent the whole day together on the 3rd), said "I love you" a few weeks after that. We're making lots of plans for later in the year, including her meeting my family. (They are not local, I have already met hers once). Now my ex-girlfriend tells me that she feels the problems she had in our relationship were actually her problems and she wants to give it another shot. And she's willing to go all in. Couples therapy, moving in together after my lease runs out, really putting the work into it. I still have feelings for my ex-gf, but returning back to a relationship that did not work the first time around is very scary. And also I'm seeing someone that I am very happy with. We've only been together for 3 months, so I can't guarantee that it's going to work out long-term, but if I do go back with my ex, I'd be breaking up a good relationship with someone who did absolutely nothing wrong. I'd be choosing my ex over my current gf, plain and simple. This has been weighing on me for days. I find myself constantly exhausted from all the emotional stress. I hate hurting people and I find myself in a situation where, no matter what I do, I hurt someone. Now, obviously, choosing my GF is the path of least resistance, since my ex and I are already broken up, but I don't know if it's what I want. I can envision a happy future with my ex, but I also know that future is uncertain and it would be a lot of work to get there. I wish I could just let it happen naturally. (As in, when we're both single), but the situation now is unsustainable and I need to make a decision. Link to comment
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