Lee Stowers Posted May 6, 2019 Share Posted May 6, 2019 I met a woman almost one year ago. It was a passionate beginning, but we live 100 miles apart. She has emotional problems as she lost her mum recently & had a bad accident too. I supported her as much as I could, but around Christmas time she tried to take her own life. At the time i didn't know this as she didn't tell me, she just said she wanted space, which I gave her. A few agonizing weeks passed and we got back together, then soon we planned to get engaged. Since then I had a lot of bad luck. My car cost me loads of money & I started having health problems. I felt pressure from the situation, but i did the best i could to live up to people's expectations, but i was finding the whole thing tiring & generally too much too soon. We then had a couple of bad nights out. The first was where I was accused of not spending enough time with her... The way I saw it was because for me it was the first time meeting her friends, at the time I thought it best to spend time with them, thinking it would be good to connect with her friends... they liked me, that part was good, but my partner fell over & apparently people were saying "where's your man?" I felt terrible about this & apologized. The next time was a family party. The first part went well & by a certain point when most people were leaving I suggested we do too, she started to get aggressive & accused me of being too old etc. She made things worse by wanting to argue in front of the remaining kids who were left. I was feeling tired & ill by this point & was struggling to cope. We got home at 8am, I slept for a bit & woke to find her asleep on the stairs in a ruined condition. I got her into bed & i explained i was going home, we almost split up at this point, but when I got home i text her & said i still love her, but we need to talk. But time passed & we didn't talk. I got annoyed with her lack of conversation & ignored my phone for a few days. During that time she was asking me to visit her. So although I got the reaction I wanted i consider this a dumb move as by the time i got the message it was too late. Two weeks passed & we tried to make plans to meet up, considering she has a busier lifestyle than me with children etc, neither of us is phased by having to work around such things. But then I get a text suggesting breaking up! I call her & she doesn't really want to talk about it, starts crying & then hung up. I then text her the following day loads. After a couple of days she comes online & tells me it's over. I freaked out & said some things on the heat of the moment that I now realize I shouldn't have. She then blocks me on her phone. I've spent the last few days wondering what to do... I thought i had concluded to write to her & explain things in a calmer way. i bought her a ticket to a festival that she said she wanted to go to, I was going to also buy the ring & offer it to her at the festival if she decided to come with me. It would be at the same place exactly one year from when we met. I was thinking she'd love how romantic that'd be. However, I've now done some more in depth reading & have decided against doing that from what everyone is saying about the no contact rule. Which I can see now seems a much better thing to do in this situation. It's only been a few days since we spoke & i am wondering if i should break the no contact rule in order to apologize for the things that I said?? I'm thinking that if i do that now & then proceed with the no contact rule, she'll be spending time without me hopefully thinking of me in a better way rather than how things are now. I realize I messed up bad! I am useless at knowing how best to react, hiding feelings of anger etc until tonight when I read about it online... Is there no hope after i reacted badly when she broke it off with me? Or is it understandable to be angry with her? considering this is our first real problem, I would have expected that she raise an issue with me first & then try to work it out. Link to comment
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