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Still hate my job i started in january thinking about going part time


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heyo,

 

ive made a thread about this before. as a short introduction so you dont have to read the other wall of text. im a textbook loser who now HAD TO get a job. I started as a call center tech support agent in january. i was really psyched at first that for the first time i got my ass up and actually made some money but that changed pretty fast.

 

i cannot really put my finger on why exactly but i just HATE the job. Its not a very hard job or anything but i just hate it. having to phone with all those customers and having to listen to their problems and trying to find solutions. I dont know why but i just cannot stand all this customer contact maybe. i knew beforehand that this kind of job is not really up my alley because im not one to talk to strangers easily etc but i didnt imagine itd be this bad for me. Company doesnt seem as awesome as i thought at first. just every day i dread to go to to work, i come home and i cannot think of anything else but me not wanting to go to that place the next day. the only good thing is that i dont have to sell sh*t on the phone..

 

ive now been thinking to just leave and look for a part time job until i can get a spot to learn a real profession in september and wanted to gather some thoughts about it from people here. i could have a part time job and make more money by tutoring kids in school (of all ages).

 

im not someone to whine fast and i have lots of patience but i feel like this job is costing me my sanity. i feel like ill eventually get into a downward spiral developing some kind of mental issues.

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Generally it takes anywhere from six months to two years for an individual to really get the hang of their position. It's only been three to four months for you. This is just past most probation periods. I think it would be wiser for you to make a decision in the next few months. You may have to shift your mindset and acknowledge your shortcomings and learn from those areas which make you feel uncomfortable. I was never much of a customer service-oriented person but I did have to learn how to be that way in some part time jobs I had when I was younger. I'm not as great at it anymore (I'll be the first to admit) but I also think I've grown in other ways - being assertive and more organized than I used to be. This means increased efficiency. Give it a few more months and some of the things I'd think about if I were in your place are:

 

-company's stability/regular pay cheques (you don't have to ask about when cheques are being issued or deal with inconsistent deposits)

-regularity of hours (this means being more able to plan ahead of time; you mentioned courses and if you have set hours, organizing a part time program shouldn't be a problem without sacrificing a chunk of your pay cheque)

 

Instead of looking only at the negatives you should be able to list some positives about your current position. If there are positives, how are you able to use them to your benefit?

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You HAD TO get a job as in nobody was going to provide a roof over your head and financially support you if you don't? Can you provide for yourself with a part time job or has something changed where you don't depend on a full time job for surviving?

 

If I'm being completely honest, I feel like im "drawn into some kind of spiral" and on the verge of "developing mental issues" on account of work like 60% of the time. Tomorrow is going to be one of those days and man I don't want to go, but I need running water and a roof and meds so guess who's still going.

 

Why are you considering a part time job rather than looking for a new full time job you can start, and give your notice when you have another full-time job lined up?

 

I'm sorry but you're not fooling anyone but yourself: it sounds like you're not willing to up your frustration tolerance for the sake of providing for yourself. Or is there another explanation for why you'd volunteer to lose a paycheck (serious question because I'm commenting based on assumption so far)?

 

People jobs are the ultimate test of your sanity, especially the first working experience.

 

I say stick with it until you've arranged for a new job, whether somewhere you don't work closely with customers or some place in line with your further education.

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Instead of looking only at the negatives you should be able to list some positives about your current position. If there are positives, how are you able to use them to your benefit?

 

apart from the ones you already named i cannot really think of much more. i dont have to work weekends (yet) and the job in all is not very "hard". idk.

 

I'm sorry but you're not fooling anyone but yourself: it sounds like you're not willing to up your frustration tolerance for the sake of providing for yourself. Or is there another explanation for why you'd volunteer to lose a paycheck (serious question because I'm commenting based on assumption so far)?

 

maybe youre right about this. i just feel like running away. i think because there is another easier way its hard for me to stay on this path. talking about sanity and losing my mind was more of a down the road thing. im constantly thinking about work, how i dont wanna go, how i despise it etc. every day after work i feel like sh*t, im almost always in a bad mood. im at work and i think about how i hate it there and i wanna go home, i get home and all i think about is how i hate work and i dont wanna go the next day.

 

ive become so passive in the few hours that i have after a work day, i dont really do anything anymore.. just sit there browse the web wanting to just get entertained. i dont even game anymore, which used to be what i liked doing most. im just constantly drained.. its not the working itself that gets me. ive learned that it gets boring af to be unemployed and being able to do what you want the whole day.

 

looking at what other people or even my parents had to deal with most of their life, this job is really chill and not bad. but for some reason... i gotta admit that i also have an of a colleague sitting near me which makes it a lot worse.

 

What specifically is the plan for September? Have you signed up for classes? How long will take before you have a degree/certificate that would make you a candidate somewhere you'd enjoy working?

 

the way it works here (apart from when doing university) its not just classes. you kinda start at a job, you go there 3 times a week and 2 times you go to some kind of "school",you get paid miserably. you learn while doing the job and some extra stuff on the side. usually it takes 3 years to finish something like that. but afterwards you can actually get real jobs.

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I was referring to the last paragraph of his post. And inferring that many workplaces are stressful. Some of my coworkers who have worked here for 12 years eventually ended up medicated to cope with the stress. In my line of work the majority of jobs will have that stress level, though

I speak of downward spirals and mental issues with exaggeration.

 

I suppose in many professions it is the same, so, bluntly, I meant it's something one sucks up until they secure something else.

A workplace can be excessively stressful, but what I sense from OP's post is that apart from not enjoying working with customers, he is looking for a way out of the job market almost, not making sure he has anything lined up, the means to support himself either I guess, and says he'd like to work less (doesn't have a part time job lined up either) until eventually he gets a degree in something that doesn't involve customer support.

 

Unless I am completely misinterpreting because there's information he hasn't provided, then I'd think he is being avoidant and that this self-sabotage can cause him a lot more harm than enduring a dreadful job until he's arranged for financial security/ a job elsewhere would. I also think looking back on himself one day, he'd like his choices more retrospectively if he could be grateful he held down jobs without a significant gap in employment than if he behaved irresponsibly by quitting it without getting a good hold of independence, financial or otherwise.

 

 

 

Thank you for explaining, OP. So with the miserable pay during schooling, could you afford to support yourself? If your parents had to help you, how do they feel about you quitting the current job now?

 

Honestly, it sounds like you're lethargic in general. Sorry to be that person but do you actively do anything to lift your spirits, like sports?

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How old are you btw?

 

Also, it only just occurred to me that in my failed attempt at a touch of sarcasm, I may have accidentally portrayed myself as suffering somehow. I only meant many people don't like going to work a lot of the time but we do because life doesn't pay for itself. You learn to adapt to the discomfort.

 

OP, it doesn't even sound like your job is downright terrible. Maybe not very rewarding or motivating, and there's the obligatory office jerk, but I think you'll spare yourself some trouble if you accept there's going to be something at every job. Even with a (differen) degree. And in times, your knees ache, your back aches, your everything does, your ulcer bleeds, your mother is dying, your spouse is in chemo and you don't even want to get up for fun, let alone work, but you don't have a choice. The sooner you develop some tolerance for discomfort and dislike, the more you'll thank yourself later.

Edited by RainyCoast
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Have you decided on an area of interest though?(schooling)

 

im not too sure yet tbh. for stuff id actually love to do my grades back in school were too bad. i made many mistakes in my life, my laziness brought me here and now im here to whine about it. at this point id try to go in a direction of an office job with minimal customer contact. i dont have big dreams or anything. working infront of a computer doing my thing would be all id want. basically what im doing now but without having to deal with all these people.

 

Can you afford to live on part time money? If you can, find that part time job first then leave your current job so there's no gap in pay. You obviously dont like your job so work on getting another one.

 

i could, yes. i dont want to get into the whole situation and what brought me to this point in the last 7 months. but i could theoretically live off of that part time. im thinking part time because its hard to get something fulltime with my current qualifications. im too unfit for any job that requires lots of manual labor, which is very visible to say the least. so even if i tried noone would hire me for a job on your feet for most of the day.

 

 

as mentioned before i have to change my mindset on this, i just dont know how to do it. how do i go from: "i hate this" to "its not that bad" to "i dont mind this" is the question for me. i will be looking for a new job, its just hard to find anything. being badly qualified and morbidly obese is not an easy combination. Latter means i cannot do many types of jobs physically but also that people probably dont want to put me into positions where im seen by customers and the like.

 

idk if you happen to have ideas for jobs that dont ask for high qualifications, just throw them my way. im mostly trying to find jobs that i can actually look for.

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I suppose in many professions it is the same, so, bluntly, I meant it's something one sucks up until they secure something else.

A workplace can be excessively stressful, but what I sense from OP's post is that apart from not enjoying working with customers, he is looking for a way out of the job market almost, not making sure he has anything lined up, the means to support himself either I guess, and says he'd like to work less (doesn't have a part time job lined up either) until eventually he gets a degree in something that doesn't involve customer support.

 

its less a way out of the job market and more me feeling totally overwhelmed with this job and how i detest it.

 

Unless I am completely misinterpreting because there's information he hasn't provided, then I'd think he is being avoidant and that this self-sabotage can cause him a lot more harm than enduring a dreadful job until he's arranged for financial security/ a job elsewhere would. I also think looking back on himself one day, he'd like his choices more retrospectively if he could be grateful he held down jobs without a significant gap in employment than if he behaved irresponsibly by quitting it without getting a good hold of independence, financial or otherwise.

 

there is indeed information that i didnt share. but it is not to important to the situation at hand but more how i got into this situation. long story short: parents broke up, im living with my mom to support her because she cannot move (high costs) or pay the rent on her own and my little brother.

 

Thank you for explaining, OP. So with the miserable pay during schooling, could you afford to support yourself? If your parents had to help you, how do they feel about you quitting the current job now?

 

Honestly, it sounds like you're lethargic in general. Sorry to be that person but do you actively do anything to lift your spirits, like sports?

 

the pay is similar to a part time job i think. i could live with that money and my mom would support me (in the sense that wed be living together for those years). she does however not approve of the idea of me quitting and getting a part time job.

 

also yes, i would say youre right in saying that im lethargic. i have a strong thyroid dysfunction that i should take medication for, which also potentially affects my brain. i may have depression as a result of that, but not in the sense of "oh my life has been so bad" kind of way but in a "the chemicals in the brain arent as they should be" way. i was not on healthcare for almost 2 years, i got it now that im working again and i need to do a bloodtest and see what kind of meds i need for the condition. im not saying this because i wanted to excuse my behaviour. just extra info because i had to deal with that stuff a few years ago.

 

also im not here to have people just say yes to my rants. i asked for opinions and advice. sharing like this helps me a lot to cope with stuff because i dont feel like i can open to anyone about it irl actually TALKING about it. i just cant do it. i would totally have my mom, shed listen "happily" etc but im just not the type who can do that.

 

i am currently 26.

Edited by emptyeffort
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ii have lots of patience but i feel like this job is costing me my sanity. i feel like ill eventually get into a downward spiral developing some kind of mental issues.

 

I beg to differ on this point given that after 3 months in you are already hating life to the point of spiraling down the rabbit hole of poor mental health.

 

OP I haven't read your other threads, are you typically one to be highly anxious and focused on the negative? This seems like an extreme reaction to a job that sounds pretty benign... I mean it's not as though you are cleaning up $hit and vomit for a living after all.

 

As for tutoring kids, you are still going to be working with "customers" and helping them solve problems which is what you say you hate about your current job so what is the reason you want to switch from what you are doing now to tutoring?

 

If you dig deeper, my guess is you will find this misery is unrelated to what you are doing for a living... and if you don't take time to find out what it is you will run from job to job with no hope of happiness until you do.

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OP I haven't read your other threads, are you typically one to be highly anxious and focused on the negative? This seems like an extreme reaction to a job that sounds pretty benign... I mean it's not as though you are cleaning up $hit and vomit for a living after all.

 

i wouldnt say im highly anxious but im very focused on the negative. im never optimistic about anything.

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no i havent set up an appointment yet. i hate going to the doc generally and when i finally had the nerve to call them and make an appointment they told me to go onto some fcking website and make an appointment there...... just was about to do it now, turns out i cannot even choose to have my blood taken as an option.. generally thats something they do very early because youre not supposed to have eaten anything. idk i guess ill call another doc tmrw...

 

im happy this also got me to remember about my thyroid issue as an actual issue and factor. i had totally forgotten about how it probably influenced my life and how i look on things for years of not treating it. maybe having it treated will help me cope with everything in general. i just feel so ty..

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OP!!!!!!

 

I'm not even going to ask if the reason you didn't have insurance before this job is because your mom couldn't afford it and you didn't want to work to be able to afford it yourself- resulting in an unmanaged thyroid condition. Nope, don't say it is so.

 

You are dangerously passive. Please talk to your doctor about that too. You need someone to empower you so that you don't evade responsibilities and seek the comfort of idleness at the expense of your own wellbeing.

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OP!!!!!!

 

I'm not even going to ask if the reason you didn't have insurance before this job is because your mom couldn't afford it and you didn't want to work to be able to afford it yourself- resulting in an unmanaged thyroid condition. Nope, don't say it is so.

 

You are dangerously passive. Please talk to your doctor about that too. You need someone to empower you so that you don't evade responsibilities and seek the comfort of idleness at the expense of your own wellbeing.

 

youre exactly on the money, again. Ye, ill get this thyroid stuff out of the way asap. ill just go to the doc tmrw ask to do it immediately or give me an appointment right there.

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. im too unfit for any job that requires lots of manual labor, which is very visible to say the least. so even if i tried noone would hire me for a job on your feet for most of the day.

 

Let's start with this. I'm not trying to be an ass. If it wasn't for the physical discipline I picked up in the military I probably would have ended up here and gotten worse than I did. I got much bigger than I liked for a while.

 

I can say that this will greatly affect your mood. It won't make your job itself better, and I know the thought of working out at the end of an insufferable day where you don't want to do anything else is hard. Also, not snacking while sitting on your ass all day is hard, especially in an environment where there is frequent coffee and donuts.

 

Get your thyroid medication in check.

Get some physical activity in every day, whether you want to or not..no excuses. Learn about nutrition and eat better. Cut out all the sugars.

 

While it seems unrelated to your job, trust me when I say it affects every aspect of your life. If you can't get out of this slump due to depression, consider therapy.

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Ok come back to post here when you do though. You know, for accountability! XD

 

 

A thyroid issue can be easily managed, or it could get serious.

 

Have you generally, I mean even before all this, had not had much will to live? I'm asking because that was me in my twenties, and my self neglect manifested differently than yours, but there was this underlying belief that I needn't invest in myself as i'm not going to be around much longer. As if I was allowing myself to disintegrate, doing nothing to prevent an untimely death.

 

It's like "passive suicide" if that makes sense.

 

 

Then, years after, I didn't appreciate the various health issues and such I had to deal with as a result at a much younger age than I'd have to had I looked after my health and safety better.

 

"You only have one life/one body" sounds like a platitude...until it doesn't.

Edited by RainyCoast
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Let's start with this. I'm not trying to be an ass. If it wasn't for the physical discipline I picked up in the military I probably would have ended up here and gotten worse than I did. I got much bigger than I liked for a while.

 

I can say that this will greatly affect your mood. It won't make your job itself better, and I know the thought of working out at the end of an insufferable day where you don't want to do anything else is hard. Also, not snacking while sitting on your ass all day is hard, especially in an environment where there is frequent coffee and donuts.

 

Get your thyroid medication in check.

Get some physical activity in every day, whether you want to or not..no excuses. Learn about nutrition and eat better. Cut out all the sugars.

 

While it seems unrelated to your job, trust me when I say it affects every aspect of your life. If you can't get out of this slump due to depression, consider therapy.

 

 

 

youre absolutely right. i cant even get myself to do stuff that i usually enjoy, imagine stuff i dont enjoy. at work i usually only drink water and actually really little food for being there 9 hours of my day and not much sugar. but i could eat "better food". apart from looking for a new job ill tackle the thyroid issue and the food first. maybe after having worked on both of those i feel more energetic, less passive and less sh*tty.

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youre absolutely right. i cant even get myself to do stuff that i usually enjoy, imagine stuff i dont enjoy. at work i usually only drink water and actually really little food for being there 9 hours of my day and not much sugar. but i could eat "better food". apart from looking for a new job ill tackle the thyroid issue and the food first. maybe after having worked on both of those i feel more energetic, less passive and less sh*tty.

 

Working out and eating better can also help thyroid issues. If you aren't doing it, you are looking for excuses. You'll be better off starting today than you will waiting.

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Have you generally, I mean even before all this, had not had much will to live? I'm asking because that was me in my twenties, and my self neglect manifested differently than yours, but there was this underlying belief that I needn't invest in myself as i'm not going to be around much longer. As if I was allowing myself to disintegrate, doing nothing to prevent an untimely death.

 

It's like "passive suicide" if that makes sense.

 

in a sense this describes it kinda well. i would never hurt/kill myself but for years ive been living in this state of: "my lives going to be sh*tty anyway, im never gonna accomplish anything (mainly just having a job i love doing while being able to provide for a family) and find a suitable significant other (which i very much miss, since my last break up a couple of years ago) i just wish i wouldnt wake up the next day". i guess im hoping it all just ends magically before the real consequences catch up to me.

 

being with her showed me how lonely i actually was before that (was my only gf because somehow i never fell in love with girls that fell in love with me and i didnt have exactly much self esteem, what an irony) and how lonely i am now. i was very clingy and codependent because of that.

 

welp i get the sense maybe the the job isnt the part that solely makes my life feel like a waste but also these other underlying issues that i banished from my brain. it just all culminates and the job was the newest addition to an already bleak life.

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