Is my girlfriend crazy/ unreasonable??????

[katrina1980]

I vote for you're simply incompatible, you both have trust issues and after only six months, best to wish each other well and say goodbye.

 

Re your recording calls, at my work, this is done quite often, so are in person meetings, for substantive reasons to refer back to later. So I see no issue with recording for business purposes.

 

It's really no different than communicating via email or letters, wherein everything is in writing and saved to the file for substantive reasons.

 

On a personal level, if it bothers your partner, then respect her request and don't do it, or start communicating via text or email, where conversations are saved automatically, and no one has a issue with it.

 

Does your gf take issue w your saving your text conversations too?

 

This is one reason why I prefer text or email, over phone calls. I like referring back to later, esp when communicating w my bf.

 

Re your mom, if she is threatening you, then I can understand why you would want that recorded for legal purposes should anything bad happen .

 

If your kids take issue with it assumimg they know you have the app, then communicate via text, wherein conversations are auto saved, and you can read back later if you like.

 

Not quite sure why they would take issue w it though, assuming you have explained your reasons for doing so. Again no different than text or email where convos are saved automatically.

 

JMO

[boltnrun]

You two don't seem to like each other. Not at all.

 

Why are you together?

 

This was ignored. I still think it's true.

 

Playing a game of let's poll the internet so we can "prove" who's right? Childish and counterproductive to a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.

[katrina1980]

This was ignored. I still think it's true.

 

Playing a game of let's poll the internet so we can "prove" who's right? Childish and counterproductive to a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.

 

Yeah agree, time to call this a day, it's petty and unproductive.

[milly007]

It’s one thing if someone knows they’re being recorded, whether it’s through work or otherwise. If someone isn’t aware they’re being recorded, this is a completely different story, imo. My initial opinion remains the same.

 

In terms of your ex (the mother of your kids), it sounds like an incident (or incidents) happened in the past where she accused you of something and now you feel the need to protect yourself (and for all we know, maybe what happened in the past affected/impacted your relationship with your kids). This reason is so different from what you referred to in your original post.

 

Without knowing the details, in terms of your ex, I can see why someone would want to protect themselves if they’re being (or have been) accused of serious allegations (especially in a matrimonial/domestic/custody or access dispute, etc.).

[katrina1980]

OP, if you're afraid you might miss a call from your kids, ask that they leave a voice mail when they call.

 

Problem solved.

[katrina1980]

 

It’s one thing if someone knows they’re being recorded, whether it’s through work or otherwise. If someone isn’t aware they’re being recorded, this is a completely different story, imo. My initial opinion remains the same.

 

 

In CA it's illegal to record phone convos w/o other party's consent.

 

But OP said where he resides it isn't.

 

So I'm a bit on the fence about it.

 

If me, if living in a state where it's legal, I'd probably just assume it's a possibility, same as my texts and emails are saved without my consent.

 

But I can understand why someone might be uncomfortable w it too, regardless of whether or not it's legal.

[bluecastle]

Playing a game of let's poll the internet so we can "prove" who's right? Childish and counterproductive to a healthy, mutually respectful relationship.

 

This is the only thing worth acknowledging right now.

 

I can join in on an ethics debate about recording phone calls, something I and everyone who has my job in the world does in a professional capacity, so I'm well aware of the various laws.

 

Still, that's just beside the point here. You're six months into a relationship and turning to pixilated strangers to win an argument? Sounds like hate and ego have fully eclipsed compassion and generosity of spirit.

 

In your shoes, I'd acknowledge that your posting this is evidence that you are not in the sort of relationship you'd like to be in, just as her posting hers is evidence for the same to her. Be big, wish her well, and stop dragging each other over coals that will just get hotter the more you continue down this nasty road.

[Batya33]

I vote for you're simply incompatible, you both have trust issues and after only six months, best to wish each other well and say goodbye.

 

Re your recording calls, at my work, this is done quite often, so are in person meetings, for substantive reasons to refer back to later. So I see no issue with recording for business purposes.

 

It's really no different than communicating via email or letters, wherein everything is in writing and saved to the file for substantive reasons.

 

On a personal level, if it bothers your partner, then respect her request and don't do it, or start communicating via text or email, where conversations are saved automatically, and no one has a issue with it.

 

Does your gf take issue w your saving your text conversations too?

 

This is one reason why I prefer text or email, over phone calls. I like referring back to later, esp when communicating w my bf.

 

Re your mom, if she is threatening you, then I can understand why you would want that recorded for legal purposes should anything bad happen .

 

If your kids take issue with it assumimg they know you have the app, then communicate via text, wherein conversations are auto saved, and you can read back later if you like.

 

Not quite sure why they would take issue w it though, assuming you have explained your reasons for doing so. Again no different than text or email where convos are saved automatically.

 

JMO

 

I am quoting because I agree about expectations at work and with text/emails. I would not date someone or be friendly with someone who recorded my phone calls. I often do phone calls instead of putting something in writing precisely because it's not recorded and can't be forwarded to someone else -often because it's private/personal. Phone calls to me are essential to my close friendships and relationships and I'd be unwilling to give that up because of the person's need to record everything. I'd be fine if he needed to record other conversations for legal purposes whatever they may be but not my personal calls with him.

 

I also think it's very very important in close relationships to be able to trust each other to remember what you talked about -sure it can get frustrating if someone remembers it differently. I had in writing something one of my family members wrote to me and I relied on that to plan a vacation. When she flaked (which ended up costing us $100 - but could have cost much much more because of airline ticket) I finally found what she wrote. And I decided not to send it to her because in that situation I didn't want to go that "low" and throw it in her face. Because in that situation that is what I would have been doing. By contrast, my husband and I had a disagreement years ago about whether he'd agreed to pick up our son so that I could work that day. I did find the email and showed it to him and we talked about it. But that was logistical -nothing that would impact our relationship in any significant way. I think it's essential for a couple not to have to resort to pointing out "evidence" of what was said or not said in emotionally-laden situations.

 

I agree they're likely incompatible.

[katrina1980]

I never had the app, so our phone convos were never saved, but sometimes I wish I had saved conversations w my mom and dad, to listen to since they're passing. Especially my dad.

 

I still have texts, emails and videos and a few saved voice mails from my dad though, but tbh it would be comforting to listen back to one of our phone convos too; he was so wise and gave me such great advice.

 

My mom did too.

 

I dunno that may sound crazy and maybe even a bit morbid to some but it really would be comforting.

 

I miss him a lot, and my mom too despite our issues.

[Matt0050]

I’m an Aussie father who was on the local dating rollercoaster for a while and my advice is Run!!!!!!

 

I worked my way through 9 relationships in 2 years and met many woman had baggage and would pick fights over petty things like this. Usually after displaying a consistent personality for the first month or so.

 

I have a one strike rule now as I survived a 25 year abusive relationship with a serial cheating alcoholic and don’t put up with the BS being dished out to you atm.

 

There are wonderful women out there but I’d say you have to date 5-10 to find the one, especially in the 34-40 year range. Women who communicate well and realise that petty issues are not worth thinking about.

 

If you don’t want to find a woman like this, tell your GF to pull her head in because many hundreds of thousands of Australians use this type of app, if not millions.

 

I do, all my family does and my friends. Everyone from divorced fathers who want to protect themselves from false intervention orders to business men are recording their calls.

 

Obviously your GF lives in the Simpson desert and has no idea what the rest of Australia is doing😜

[katrina1980]

^^That's why I asked if his gf took issue with her texts/email/social media messages being saved too which they automatically are without her consent. I am going to assume she does not.

 

Nevertheless, if she's sensitive to having phone convos saved, that's her right and he should respect it or, as you said Matt, find a new more compatible gf.