Financial issue - what thought /analytical process works for you?

[catfeeder]

A nine year 'good' relationship with someone I've trusted with my home keys and no rate increases would have earned her the credibility for an instant yes from me, no questions asked. I wouldn't have another thought about it afterward.

[itsallgrand]

It would bother me because of the plea to your personal heart strings. This crosses from professional request to personal one, and yeah I don't like that when it comes to work relationships. Also the last minute ' I need this money now or else * horrible things *' always sets my alarm bells ringing. Perhaps I'm a tad cynical, but that hard push for urgency and no time to deliberate usually means some bs going on. More to the story, for sure.

 

All that said, there are times I've still chosen to float someone on good faith. I won't lie though, it draws out of the trust bank. It can be a one off, and all returns to normal. But maybe that's part of why you feel uncomfortable - she's pushed the boundaries of the relationship with this request.

 

I hope you'll update.

[Batya33]

It would bother me because of the plea to your personal heart strings. This crosses from professional request to personal one, and yeah I don't like that when it comes to work relationships. Also the last minute ' I need this money now or else * horrible things *' always sets my alarm bells ringing. Perhaps I'm a tad cynical, but that hard push for urgency and no time to deliberate usually means some bs going on. More to the story, for sure.

 

All that said, there are times I've still chosen to float someone on good faith. I won't lie though, it draws out of the trust bank. It can be a one off, and all returns to normal. But maybe that's part of why you feel uncomfortable - she's pushed the boundaries of the relationship with this request.

 

I hope you'll update.

 

THanks and I will (in addition to her additional thank you).

 

Catfeeder -yes I do trust her with access to our apartment and I also know we have a manager on premises and other safeguards. Yes, if she took care of my child full time she'd be more part of the family (we've never had that situation other than my niece as a part time mother's helper -she was already my personal family member and friend!) and I've seen indirectly where then the employee's personal life/issues may overlap with the professional relationship. I don't see it that way with her and her employees cleaning our apartment twice a month for 1.5 -2 hours each time. I'm a huge fan of keeping business/personal separate (I do it as an employee) whenever possible.

 

Many years ago my secretary asked me for $300 so she could pay her sitter -it was early in the week and payday for her was Friday and she was short on cash. She hadn't been my secretary for that long but I "knew" her. I was concerned because 20 years ago $300 to me was a lot -well, even more than it is now. She promised to pay me back on a certain day. And she didn't. She paid me back soon after but only when I asked. That made me really uncomfortable. She is an individual though and I will NOT generalize as far as trusting this person or anyone else- but 20 years later I remember that really uncomfortable feeling of having to ask my employee and colleague to be paid back in that situation.

[Seraphim]

I am going to have to find someone willing to clean Saturdays. I can’t keep up the pace I’m at. My husband wants my attention on Saturdays and rightly so because I’m very busy the rest of the week . And to tell the truth I am so exhausted by Saturday I can barely move . Sundays I’m tied up with choir practice and Mass. I have to maintain a standard due to my daycare . I can only hope I find somebody as trustworthy as the person you have .

[Batya33]

I am going to have to find someone willing to clean Saturdays. I can’t keep up the pace I’m at. My husband wants my attention on Saturdays and rightly so because I’m very busy the rest of the week . And to tell the truth I am so exhausted by Saturday I can barely move . Sundays I’m tied up with choir practice and Mass. I have to maintain a standard due to my daycare . I can only hope I find somebody as trustworthy as the person you have .

 

I asked for referrals from friends and had one other under consideration but she was too complicated -wanted to meet to have a long talk about all our "needs" and treated it on too much of a personal level for me at that time as the mom of an infant who just wanted someone who would take charge and know how to do a basic cleaning. My person was referred through my management office in the building so I trusted her - she doesn't have a set of keys other than when she needs them (if we're not home she gets them from the office then returns them). She's been mostly reliable. But yes definitely personal referral and I would make sure you have time before to declutter if that is an issue (it is for us -about to do so now before I rush off to work!)

 

Good luck!!!

[abitbroken]

No. you don't prepay that far in advance. If she wants more work, she can get more money from you by getting referred to a friend or neighbor, or by doing extra work for you (instead of just the kitchen and bathroom, she does the baseboards, gets out the carper cleaner or help you with spring organizing). Or having her come an extra week just to help her out.

 

Honestly, i don't think anyone should pay her a vacation day. She should run her business in a way that she has enough money to take a break. That's what being self employed is about.

[Batya33]

All great ideas - not so workable in our situation but yes - I like that way of thinking a lot -she should have done so too. I agree re: self-employed.

 

She showed up today so only 3 more to go -I feel confident she will come. Thank you!

[Batya33]

Update! Last prepaid cleaning is this week - the fourth cleaning I prepaid for and she showed up no problems the last 3 times. She texted me today to see if I could do three more prepaid so they could make mortgage payments. She says it's the last time. I spoke with my husband and we decided to do this "one more time" and I told her I would prepay after she cleans this coming week (so that there are only 3 prepaid as opposed to 4). After that I'll see. On a practical level given summer plans and schedules I wouldn't want to look for someone new right now. I'm not thrilled but feel very good about how she and her crew have shown up these last 3 times, am sure she'll show up this time and feel comfortable with doing this favor once more. She seems to greatly appreciate it. What gives me slight pause is she's taking the week off from cleaning for her birthday (next month) and of course you wonder how she can afford that given this situation. Some people of course might have her come an additional time to make up for it -we are not given our plans.

 

Thanks everyone and my fingers are crossed that she continues to be trustworthy and reliable. I feel good about being able to help/being able to afford to help.

[WithLove]

I think since you've already pre-paid for two cleanings, just tell her that you've done that but you are unable to pre-pay for more than that. And if she asks for you to do this again, you can just say that you're not able to do it. You don't have to give a reason. It's your money and no one's business but yours. Her financial issue is unfortunate, but you want someone that has a stable financial business to where you're not worrying about if they will show up again next time. It's okay to want to have that stability, since you're the one buying into their business.

[Batya33]

Yes. We prepaid for four cleanings. Number four is this coming week. After that I've now agreed to one more prepayment for 3 cleanings. She sent me the pay-site request and I told her I will fulfil it after this next cleaning. I agree this should be the very last time especially since she has indicated that this is the very last time. I'm glad she's shown up for 3 out of the 4 prepaid cleanings with number 4 coming up in a few days. I am confident she will show up for number four as well. It's a tough situation. Last time I had too much of an issue with my bank and the pay site because she gave me a wrong way to pay her so I had to cancel/get a refund, ugh. This time should go much more smoothly.

[Seraphim]

Now , that you agreed to it again... I think you’re sunk. She is going to continue to ask .

[Batya33]

Now , that you agreed to it again... I think you’re sunk. She is going to continue to ask .

 

Hopefully you're wrong on that. She didn't say last time it was a one time thing and this time she said it was the last time. Hopefully she is true to her word. Since she's shown up for all the cleanings so far I know her to be honest about that. In nine years she's never been dishonest financially and I think other than one time she's shown up every time (that one time, about 6 years ago she told me she was sorry, had gotten sick - and came the next day -totally fine albeit inconvenient!)

 

I'm not sunk in the least. I can say "no" and find a new person. I do believe she'll show up for all prepaid cleanings. and I will screen shot the texts.

[WithLove]

I think generally, this wouldn't be okay, but since she has been the same person you've dealt with for 9 years and you have that trust there, it'll turn out alright. And if it doesn't, you can always go with someone else.

[Batya33]

I think generally, this wouldn't be okay, but since she has been the same person you've dealt with for 9 years and you have that trust there, it'll turn out alright. And if it doesn't, you can always go with someone else.

 

Thanks! Exactly what I plan to do!

[Seraphim]

It sounds like they are in financial jeopardy.

[Batya33]

It sounds like they are in financial jeopardy.

 

Yes -she and her husband apparently are behind on mortgage payments and my help (and I suppose other clients' help) is needed this one last time. She is not an incorporated business as far as I know.

[Seraphim]

Yes, I meant her and the husband.

Yes -she and her husband apparently are behind on mortgage payments and my help (and I suppose other clients' help) is needed this one last time. She is not an incorporated business as far as I know.

[Batya33]

OK so please you all be gentle. I have NOT sent her any more $ yet. She still owes us one prepaid cleaning. Five minutes ago -gosh I wish I could make this stuff up. Five minute ago she texted me that her purse was stolen with all her ID and cards so now she wants cash payment for the next cleaning which was supposed to be our last prepaid cleaning.

 

This is what we think we want to do. We will tell her that we can do that BUT in that event we can only pay for two more cleanings instead of three. And see what she says.

 

She never, ever, claimed to need cash for anything like this -this is so odd/unusual. I am not sure I believe her latest text. I am sorry to say that but something is not right here. Sigh.

[Seraphim]

Run far and fast. I am all for helping people, but seriously......I might help a few times but after that the person needs to get their shyte together.

 

I feel bad you are in this position.

[Batya33]

Run far and fast. I am all for helping people, but seriously......I might help a few times but after that the person need to get their shyte together.

 

I feel bad you are in this position.

 

Thank you. But she still owes us one cleaning so I can't run, yet.

[Seraphim]

Just remember you are not responsible for her crisis.

[Batya33]

Just remember you are not responsible for her crisis.

 

Yes and thanks for being so thoughtful in your responses. I really appreciate it.

[itsallgrand]

Yeah, that doesn't sound good. She's in pretty deep with something.

It's unfortunate, because I really can tell you are simply trying to help her out. I'm sorry you are in this position too, it sucks!

 

I think because she is escalating, personally I'd say no to this cash up front for a service you already paid her for ( the next cleaning).

[Batya33]

Yeah, that doesn't sound good. She's in pretty deep with something.

It's unfortunate, because I really can tell you are simply trying to help her out. I'm sorry you are in this position too, it sucks!

 

I think because she is escalating, personally I'd say no to this cash up front for a service you already paid her for ( the next cleaning).

 

Yes but also we would go down from 3 prepaid to two so she knows that she will have a sort of penalty for asking for this.

[itsallgrand]

Of course go with what you are comfy with.

I'm just going off my personal experiences here. When someone starts getting sloppy with giving believable reasons for these requests, it's usually due to desperation and things can get ugly.