Sweetpotato22 Posted April 20, 2019 Share Posted April 20, 2019 Hi everyone. I have had the same boyfriend for 4.5 years now. And we are coming to buy a house together and move on to the next stage of our relationship and suddenly for the first time I am having some major doubts! I basically need help as to wether or not to listen to them. My boyfriend is kind, funny and ambitious. He works really hard and is always so loving and caring towards me. He really looks after me. He is the sort who will bring breakfast in bed etc. We lived together for 2.5 years in our own flat and have just moved back in with my parents while we save to buy a house. I don’t know if it’s that situation (being at home with my parents) that is shining such a big spotlight on everything. I guess I’m feeling like if I buy this house with him it means he’s the one and I have to be with him forever. Something I never doubted before but since I’ve been home I’m feeling a bit off about it. We have had a few arguments about him being rude to my parents, who are very conservative. He is more liberal. He can be stand-offish with them and while they are all civil there is no deeper bond- which is what I had always hoped for. He is very quiet sometimes and can be moody/grumpy over what feel like minor things to me. We come from very different family backgrounds and I’m concerned this will impact our future together. I guess I always imagined myself with a super friendly, warm probably Christian guy who becomes like a second son to my parents. But instead I’ve got someone who loves me to pieces, but doesn’t share the same family values as I do. It’s just not as important to him. I had spoken to him about it a lot, and he says all the right things but I’m still starting to disengage slightly. I don’t know if all my doubts are because we are back home which is effecting my mental health (I’ve basically reverted back to being like a teenager and I am 27). I’ve also got fears of if I wanted to leave I couldn’t. I couldn’t keep the house alone so would have to move back home indefinitely. And who knows if I would ever meet someone better as my boyfriend is really lovely. He just doesn’t always show this side to others apart from me. So I guess I’m wondering in this very long and rambling message: Should I listen to these doubts or is it just because we are at my parents at the moment? Is it normal to have doubts like these??? I need help this had been going on for a few months now... Link to comment
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