Messaging and cheating?

[ThatwasThen]

He tries but he's not romantic. Doesn't show his feelings. Describes himself as self absorbed.

 

What keeps you with him and now blending your lives from the same abode? Are you sure you want to live with him or are your insecurities causing you all this anxiety?

[suesullivan1]

I am not sure. Yes my insecurities are causing the mistrust. He knows I am insecure so I guess I want him to be more sensitive to that. We've talked about that and I've asked him to be more supportive. I'm supportive of him. I still think an answer of "I don't know" is strange and lame. Not like I was asking him what he wanted for dinner. It is what it is. I do appreciate all the feedback to put things in perspective

[ThatwasThen]

Wow you are hanging onto that bone of "I don't know" like a junk yard dog on a trespassers pant cuff. :)

 

How come you can't just accept that answer about a silly text when you yourself answered similarly as to what keeps you with him? ;)

"I am not sure." was your response.

 

You know I have no data plan on my Iphone so unless I am in Wifi somewhere my Imessages go through as a text message BUT when I get back into a wifi situation, they repeat and the Hubby (or whoever) will get the same message as an Imessage... Perhaps that is what happened to him?

[suesullivan1]

Wow. It is good to see humor in situations.

[catfeeder]

I'd accept an answer versus I don't know

 

Maybe that IS his answer.

 

I can't explain 'why' I've done some mindless things like reaching to take a medication twice or returning to shut off a coffee pot that I've already washed and put away. I've reposted to the same topic in this forum after returning from grabbing a drink. I've moved to start a car that was already running. I sometimes look for glasses I've already put on my face.

 

This isn't to explain his behavior, but rather, it can demonstrate that not all behavior is explainable. It may be too much to expect of someone to have a pat answer ready to explain behaviors that were automatic to begin with.

 

None of this means that your gut is wrong or right, but you get to decide whether holding a tight stomach over someone is how you want to live. Nobody's crystal ball can tell you whether the guy is trustworthy. You are the one who knows him well enough to have invested in him--and that's why you're the only one who can weigh whether this relationship pays off for you, or not.

 

Speaking only for myself, I'm not LDR material. This doesn't speak of how wonderful a distant person may be, it only speaks of my own limits. The distance thing doesn't allow me to bond in a way that satisfies me, so I tend to be an out-of-sight-out-of-mind person, which would cause me to resent not being open to bonding with someone else. So why would I want to sign on for that?

 

I wouldn't base my decisions about the guy on a repeat text or his ability to explain it, but rather I'd broaden my scope to consider my overall satisfaction with the relationship itself. I might be inclined to tell the guy, "I adore you and can picture the two of us together in the future, and that's why I need to walk away while we both still think highly of one another. You get to do your LD trucking gig for as long as it suits you, and if you ever decide that close proximity to me is where you'll want to settle down, you can let me know. If I'm still available then, we can meet to catch up. Otherwise, I wish you the best, but this distance thing is not for me."

 

Head high, and trust your Self.