katrina1980 Posted April 9, 2019 Share Posted April 9, 2019 So I have this friend, I've posted about her before, we have not been friends that long but we've become super close - she is the girl who is dating a much older man, there was tons of drama at first, and they broke up, but they got back together and are VERY happy and in love now. So now to my issue and I myself feel I am being very judgmental but I DON'T want to be!! Some of you know my issues with weight in the past, and my obsessive quest to remain thin. I had an eating disorder many years ago, it goes back to my mom (not blaming her, but my issues are related to her obsessive need to be thin and to keep ME thin)! Anyway, I still struggle with it, although not as bad, but I still probably have a rather unhealthy attitude about weight if I'm honest. So, back to my friend. Within the past few weeks, she has gained a TON of weight. I would say around 25 pounds on a 5'3" frame. Which would not be so bad except she has not bought new clothes so her clothes are way too tight, she literally busts out of her blouses (buttons look like they're gonna pop), she has broken zippers, her belly spills out way over her pants and she literally looks like she's eight months pregnant! I kid you not. She is definitely not pregnant we just had a discussion about birth control and she has admitted she wants no more kids, she has one already. At first I was super worried cause gaining so much weight, especially in her tummy, I just didn't think was normal OR healthy. I addressed it very sensitively and she assured me when she gains weight, most of it goes to her tummy so she assured me she was fine. So that's all good, whew! But to the eating, extremely unhealthy foods and LOTS of it, literally all day long. I spent a day with her last week and I was shocked at how much she ate in one day -- ALL unhealthy, burritos, fast food, chips, cookies, pizza, Mexican, you name it! She is always telling me how fat she is (she uses that word) but it doesn't appear she wants to do anything about it, she says her bf loves her body as is (which is fabulous, truly!) but at the rate she's going, the way she eats and with most of her weight going to her tummy, I don't know how to make her understand how serious an issue it is, health wise! I also want to tell her how bad it looks appearance wise, but never would. As for her busting out of all her clothes, she got super pissed off at her employer cause they called her in last week and told her she needs to dress more professionally and wear outfits that fit the image of the company. She has worked there for years and this is the first time addressing it so my guess it it does have something to do with her weight gain and how she busts out of all her clothes. Guys, am I being too harsh and judgmental here? As background, I had a another friend who gained about 30 pounds a few years back but she still looked beautiful, wore tasteful clothes and ate healthy, just more than usual (her now-husband and she like to dine out a lot) which is why she gained. But this situation is different, I don't know I think I need a good kick in the butt to get me out of this overly-judgmental state, which I am OWNING, and I don't like feeling this way!! Link to comment
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