Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Don't go out of your way to approach them, no.

 

If you happen to bump into either him or his wife, just say a friendly hello and keep moving.

 

To be fair, you know nothing about their marriage or why his wife might be uncomfortable that an ex reached out to his sister. Heck, maybe the dude has had an affair and she is now more sensitive to these matters. My point is, try not to apply what you or your husband would do to another couple's dynamics. There are too many variables that influence how a couple reacts to and handles different situations, which you would naturally not be privy to.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Another thing to keep in mind is that you also have no clue what your ex might have told his wife about you.

 

Maybe after you contacted his sister, he tried to spin it as you still having some sort of soft spot for him. Maybe he's exaggerated your interest level in him to puff up his own ego. His wife might simply be reacting to a less-than-kind impression he has created of you, however far from reality that might be.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Yes that’s very true. I hadn’t really thought about that. I’ve seen them both from a distance and walked past her one day and I could see her watching me (lumbering along in my 35 week pregnant state lol). It was a few months after that that her request went in. Maybe she’s decided ima. Threat based on things he’s said too. It’s hard to know. I’ll just be my usual friendly self and try to be confident.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you! I’ve spoken to many many friends about this and they also think it’s bizarre! I honestly did not think it was a big deal to tell him to say hi. The only reason I contacted his sister was because I had no way of contacting him. I don’t think she thought it was an issue either, as she replied quickly and was lovely. I was really hoping he would, simply just to get it out of the way before I went on maternity leave.

 

He and his wife clearly thought it was an issue. It is a bit weird tbh. Also just a little heads up, you need to 'reply with quote' so people know who you are responding to :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are not a threat, you're an unwanted intrusion in his current life. Notice he made zero effort to contact you, stay in touch and even after you did your end run around that and contacted his sister, he made zero effort to contact you. Leave them alone. He doesn't want to be pals. Be professional and leave the past in the past. His wife is not "jealous" of you. That is your imagination/ego. He is the one who did not contact you. Take the hint.

Maybe she’s decided ima. Threat based on things he’s said too. It’s hard to know. I’ll just be my usual friendly self and try to be confident.
Link to comment
Share on other sites

You are not a threat, you're an unwanted intrusion in his current life. Notice he made zero effort to contact you, stay in touch and even after you did your end run around that and contacted his sister, he made zero effort to contact you. Leave them alone. He doesn't want to be pals. Be professional and leave the past in the past. His wife is not "jealous" of you. That is your imagination/ego. He is the one who did not contact you. Take the hint.

 

You know what, they are an unwanted intrusion in my life. I was simply trying to make something positive out of something awkward and uncomfortable. I hadn’t been in touch with him prior to this and never thought I would see him again.

 

I don’t believe she is jealous and never said that. I said a threat - to her mental health, or something I don’t know.

 

I don’t want to be “pals”. Since I contacted his sister it had been a year. I’m not bombarding them or harassing. I sent one message. The only reason I’m asking for advice now is because I’m going back to work soon.

 

You may be a “wise man”’, but you are not a very nice man.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • Why You Should NEVER Chase Your Ex
      You should NEVER chase your ex, no matter what... even if you want to get back together. In this video, I’ll explain what exactly I mean by that… and why it’s so important if you want your ex back. Here's the simple truth: if you DO want to give yourself the best possible chance of starting over with your ex, you simply CANNOT let yourself start chasing them… it just doesn’t work, even though it’s the natural human reaction to a breakup and often feels like the right way to get them back. Even if you DON'T want your ex back, you still shouldn't let yourself chase after them. Watch the full video to find out why...

       
      • 0 replies
    • How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩
      How Do You Know She’s The One? 5 Signs She’s The One & 1 Red Flag! 🚩... In this dating advice video, I will explain to you how to know she’s the one and give you five signs she’s the one as well as give you one red flag that you need to look out for. You may want to know whether she’s the one on first dates, online dating, or somewhere in the dating process. Take heed to these dating tips and be sure to watch the entire video.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Odd Signs You're Seeking Approval from Others Outside of Yourself
      In this YouTube Video, Lisa A Romano discusses 5 signs that indicate you're still seeking approval from others outside of you. If you are codependent, and you struggle with self-love, you may not realize the signs you're seeking approval from others. Childhood trauma and emotional neglect lead to a sense of feeling unseen. If you feel unseen, you may seek approval in odd ways. It may not be obvious when you are looking for validation from others. In this video, Lisa A Romano breaks down these 5 signs, and what they mean; hypervigilance, neediness, low self-worth, never feeling fulfilled and what it means when you become a perpetual seeker.

       
      • 0 replies
    • 3 Simple Strategies To Ditch The Imposter Syndrome
      Have you ever felt like you're a fraud who doesn't belong? According to a recent article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, seven in every ten people have or will experience impostor syndrome at some point in their lives. We couldn't see our tribe suffering from this anymore, so we brought in the person who'll help you ditch this feeling for good. In this video, peak performance expert Shadé Zahrai joins Vishen to discuss how to supercharge your life and improve your self-esteem by constructing your own reality, leveraging your self-awareness, and regaining control over your inner critic

       
      • 0 replies
    • 5 Things People Who’ve Been Mentally Abused Do
      Do you know how common mental abuse is? According to The National Center for Biotechnology Information, 80 percent of the population has experienced some form of abusive relationship and behavior. However, despite how frequent it is, emotional abuse is still hard to spot. Unlike physical abuse, mental abuse doesn’t leave any visible scars; instead, it affects someone’s behavior, mindset, and mentality. This means some people deny they’ve been mentally abused, and others may not even recognize the toxic behavior. So, whether you’re reading this to be able to recognize emotional abuse in others or recognize it in yourself, these a few things people who’ve been mentally abused do are sure to help you be more empathetic and kinder.

       
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...