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Is the girl I've been seeing casually for the last 3 months pushing me away?


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Bare with me as this is a little long post. But it's just been all I've been thinking about the last couple of days and I feel like I've been wasting my energy on it and need some answers

 

Background: I met this girl through Hinge for a date back in November. Im a 26 male and shes 25 female. We both live in a major city and live about 5 minutes walking from each other so its very convenient. We also are both from a suburb that is right next to each other outside the city. We actually have some mutual friends and everything so it wasn't like we were unfamiliar with each other. We pretty much come from the same background and run in similar social circles and go to the same places around the city. Pretty ideal situation to start off.

 

Anyways, so we first met in November for a drinks date. It went well and we kept texting and keeping in touch for a 2nd date. We met up again like first week of december for drinks again. We kissed after the date and everything went well again. I tried to hang out with her again because xmas break, but she was just really busy with holiday stuff understandibly. I was asking her to hang out so much and she kept saying she couldn't so i was actually a little discourage at first and thought it may be over. So my plan was to just not text her over xmas break and see if she wanted to hang out once we got back from break in january. but she actually texted me first for the first time over break after not talking for a week, so we kept in touch over that 10 day break period. fast forward to about the first week of january, and we decide to meet up for drinks again. in no way was i expecting to sleep with her after this date, but we did. all of our dates so far had been on weekdays. a couple days after this, she hit me up on a weekend night and asked me to come over. i went over and slept with her. We then went on a 4th date in late january about two weeks later, while still keeping in touch and texting everyday. shortly after this i started to get chlamdyia symptoms and went to the doctor and tested positive. i had slept with another girl in between this all, and she got tested and was negative. when i told the girl i was seeing, she was very casual about it all but sorta assumed it was from me and said she had no symptoms, but it HAD to be from her. but its whatever, we werent exclusive or anything. she said she went to the doctor and didnt test positive. after we kept hooking up after i was clean i didnt get it from her so its whatever, im assuming the doc gave her medicine even though she didnt have any symptoms. all throughout february shes actaully sorta done some subtle snaps on week nights to see if i responded. and they were the only two weekends that she was in town for too. one of them was like literally a couple days after i told her i had chlamydia and she was completely fine with it, but i didnt go over because i didnt think i was clean. another time i just was too tired. but she did hit me up on weekends. i just usually have been asking to hang on weekdays because thats what she seemed like she wanted initially.

 

ok fast forward again from like early feb to late feb...and im now clean. we have still been texting every 2-3 days and keeping in touch with texting mostly on weekdays. we set up a dinner date late feb and hookup after. texting has been the same. she then asks me to hang out the next week in which i say yes. i then ask her the next week if she wants to hang out before her family trip over st paddys day weekend. we do hang out the night before her flight. so these last two weekday hangout seshs we have just hung out in her bed and had a glass of wine and then watch a movie and have sex. so we were keeping it very casual the last two hangouts as i literally just went over straight to her room. usually also at the end of our hangout sessions we kiss goodbye and she says "talk to you later" like she wants me to text her..i do text her but shes just not the greatest at texting even before this whole thing.

 

FINALLY, fast forward to about st paddys day weekend about 2.5 weeks ago. ive been texting her to keep in touch and she has been very short lately and just not as friendly. shes ended convos more than usual, has been a little less short. i actually texted her sunday night and she didnt even respond. so im not sure whats going on. she did snap me last night when she was out with her friends which is weird because a. she didnt respond to my text sunday and b. usually doesnt snap me that much...but i did snap her earlier in the day so maybe thats why. Early last week on tuesday when we were actually texting the most we have the last couple weeks, i asked her what the rest of her week looks like and she said she was busy the next coupld of days with a birthday dinner and work event. usually she offers up to hang the next week though and didnt.

 

but shes just been really aloof and im not sure whats going on. what should i do? i think i was just going to not text her for a week and then text her on monday (we usually make weekday hangout plans on sunday-tuesday) and say "hey i want to see you this week. do you want to do something". Thats usually all we ask when we want to hang is like what does your week look like/want to do something Usually if she can hang she tells me what days shes free that week, and if she cant she offers up to hang the next week. Or should I ask that same thing tonight and hope she can hang tomorrow/thursday? Or just be straight up and ask her if something is wrong/i think shes being aloof? We usually text every couple days or so and its very casual or friendly and im just not feeling the same back from her as its been. Is there any chance I'm just way over thinking this whole thing? Do you think she is either a. getting bored of me or b. wanted to get something more serious and thats why we last hung out 3 weeks in a row and doesnt want to play games anymore. Usually when I've been trying to distance girls and they ask if anythings up, they are spot on.

 

tl;dr: have been "seeing" a girl since early january. we text every 2-3 days and are friendly and have a very casual relationship. we last hung out middle of march and had a hang out sesh for one day a week 3 weeks in a row before she went on her family trip. ever since shes gotten back shes been very aloof and im not sure whats going on

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honestly i am low key thinking of moving to NYC in october so i feel a little guilty about dating her and then leaving but i would want to date her for a little up until then as its about 60/40 im thinking about moving in 6 months. but i also would be down to just keep up the continued casual sex because i actually like her as a person if she wouldnt want to date.

 

its just so weird we started hanging out so much more frequently right before her trip and now shes acting a little weird all of a sudden. did she just give me a cutoff or something without even saying something? is she seeing another guy maybe?

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FWB. That's all this is but it sounds like you want more.

And Christ, I'd have needed multiple(OD style) doses of female viagra to be in the mood again with the same person if I knew I got an STD in the time frame I was with that person. If you're still horny for her, go ahead and have sex with her. I don't think you owe her anything at all. Just drop her when you make your move to NYC. Get tested though before you sleep with anyone else.

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Sounds like she views you in the same manner as you do her: Meh. It’s just casual.

For sure she could have wanted more but you didn’t show her that you’d be willing to go there so now she’s falling back. She is still keeping the door open (it is easy sex, after all) but why put in effort when it’s not going anywhere?

I would recommend you not put too much thought into this as it is, as you claim, casual. Plenty of that to go around.

Oh and please be safe while doing so!

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Do you really think shes keeping the door open? I feel like she would be a little more responsive and open over text, as she's being a lot more short and ending convos a lot sooner than usual. Since she didn't respond to my last text for the first time, I decided I'm not going to text her anymore. If she wants to hang out again, she can hit me up

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If she wanted to end things she wouldn't respond. Period. The only thing preventing her from doing so would be if she feared for her safety (some guys do not handle rejection well). I hope this is not the case!

If she responds within the next few days to a week, she is definitely playing games ("who cares less?") so unless you want something more, stick to your no chasing rule. Unless a part of you likes drama, haha.

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Well I mean I had the other girls get tested and none of them had it. So this girl actually had to be the one who gave me it.

 

I’m just confused by this whole thing. How does a girl go on like five dates with a guy over a span of a couple months, act like you are really into him in person, and then it just comes crashing down? I think she may have liked me and wanted more, but since we never talked about feelings and it was coming to a breaking point she just ended it.

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You were both not invested in anything past a sexual fling. You never made an effort and had moving on anyway on your mind the entire time, just stringing her along because as you put it. "didn't want to give up the casual sex". Std's and ghosting are the downside of your intentions and lifestyle.

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honestly i am low key thinking of moving to NYC in october so i feel a little guilty about dating her and then leaving but i would want to date her for a little up until then as its about 60/40 im thinking about moving in 6 months. but i also would be down to just keep up the continued casual sex because i actually like her as a person if she wouldnt want to date.

 

its just so weird we started hanging out so much more frequently right before her trip and now shes acting a little weird all of a sudden. did she just give me a cutoff or something without even saying something? is she seeing another guy maybe?

 

Then tell her. If she agrees great, if not, oh well. At least you were honest and took the high road.

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