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I don’t make waves...I don’t speak out...and I definitely hate looking weak...


I’ve been reflecting on my life, and lately I haven’t felt like I have any purpose to live. I pretend I am happy. I always try to stay positive and look for better days ahead.


But some days are worse than others. It’s a battle everyday against myself. Some days I feel like I am not going to win this battle. Lately I have been depressed to the point where I don’t want to get out of bed. I wake up around 2 in the afternoon. And I just sit in my room. I struggle to do easy tasks . I can’t even shower without talking myself Into it. I use to do makeup and try to look pretty. Now I don’t even do my hair and my eyes look sunk in.


What’s sad about this all is I feel so alone. My best friend even stopped keeping in contact with me. She went off to college. My parents don’t even talk to me or check up on me. I live with my sister and she locks herself in her room. I feel like no one is here. I’m all alone in this world.


I know it’s far fetched but every day feels like a chore just to get out of bed. Some days I eat too much, some days i don’t eat enough. I struggle to even write this post because no one knows the demons I face every day. I’m the person that wants to help people. I always helped people get out of depression. People would never believe that I deal with it on a daily.

I’m just scared one day, depression is going to win. I am at war with myself every day. I guess I write this , so I know that I am not alone.

I hope those who are facing depression don’t give up. It’s one hell of a battle everyday for me, but I’m fighting for my life. I want everyone else to know they aren’t going through this alone, and I know I am not the only one. I just need some words of encouragement. Or others to vent on this thread as well. I love life and never thought I would ever think about suicide, but depression can be something that can take over your life. I’m just in a dark place in my life.


I just ask you to write a story . Or just remind me how beautiful life is, and how much is has to offer. I can reflect on these things, and maybe it will give me purpose in life again. Maybe I will find the courage to get out of my bed and do something productive. Yes I am still in college, yes I am still trying to keep my grades up. But as time goes by, even something I love and have passion towards, I don’t even find interesting anymore. This is Depression. This is my life now.

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I tried it numerous times throughout 2018....It's not as easy as Hollywood would have you believe....


These days I have days where I'm glad it didn't work and that keeps me going*


Why would you say you are suicidal...? What is it that is making you have those thoughts....?



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There are many beautiful things in life. Time spent with my mother and her pooch, spending time with friends, traveling to other countries, learning new things etc....


I lost most of my small family, it is just my mother and I- brother died in 2010 and father four years later. I could have given up, but knew I had to go on. Consider how your family and friends would feel f they lost you.


Everything is temporary when it comes to painful events. They can be overcome.


Have you sought out a therapist?


Quite a few responded to your post. Can't you find it?

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