I’ve known him for 3 years

[yu8i]

I met this guy (Seth) 4 years ago. People know him as a player and a bad influence, so I never really wanted anything with him. Until now, I realized that he’s always been there for me. Ever since I met him we had this connection. We talked for a while, he helped me through my first heartbreak. And we’ve always been on and off Bc I saw him as a bff. After 2 years of knowing him, I found another guy and I left Seth. Before I left him, he told me he really cared for me but I still left. When me and my ex broke up, he was there, again. Even though I didn’t talk to him for the 10 months I was gone. At that time I guess he just got tired of trying, he’s been focusing on college and other things and he told me he didn’t want anything serious so I didn’t pay attention to him and tried to get him out of my mind by talking to another guy. (Seth is friends with the new guy) but Before I started taking to the new guy, Seth texted me and told me that he hopes everything goes good with me and this guy. Which really confused me because why does he care? Right? Well, after 4 months of ‘talking’ to this new guy, the new guy broke my heart. And guess who was there for me again, Seth. After all this time of me ignoring him and just treating him as a friend, he’s still here. And no matter how hard I try to forget him, I haven’t been able to.

 

What’s crazy now though is that he told me he wants something serious, that he wants to have someone. But now I’m the one that doesn’t want anything :/ and he said he’s willing to wait. But I just hate that he didn’t want anything before? Why now?

[Rose Mosse]

Seems like Seth's playing you too. He's already told you that he's focusing on college and other things. He wished you well with the other guy. What is so inconsistent to you about his actions? Seems consistent to me: he doesn't want to date you and if he's oozing his natural charm, that's just who he is. Don't be duped. Treat him as a friend, nothing else.

[Wiseman2]

Are you friends with or dating Seth? Which would you prefer? Don't use friends as backup plans or shoulders to cry on or play with people's hearts. When you incorporate integrity into your life and friendships/relationships, you'll have better results, feel better and avoid weirdos. Decide what you want and be clear with people.

[Billie28]

Seth will always be “there” for you as long as you keep sleeping with him when you need reassurance.

He is not a friend and once he actually gets into a relationship you will be dropped.

Why are you turning to a guy who is clearly only there for you when you need an upper and he is single and happy to oblige rather than turn to your actual friends who have no ulterior motive?

If I was your gf and cared about you i would feel insulted.

[Jibralta]

Seth is known as a player and a bad influence. Is it your opinion that he does not deserve this reputation, that he is misunderstood? Or that you have a unique power to make him a better person?

 

I hope you are not basing your opinion on the fact that he is 'always there.'

 

Seth is 'always there' because that's his place in the ecosystem. Players are opportunists and are 'always there' for everyone, waiting to seize upon scraps of loneliness and failed relationships.

[Gary Snyder]

You guys tried a relationship, and broke up. You have been broken up for years now. Chances are, he's reflecting on memories of the time when you were together - but once a person has been out of the relationship for years, more than likely the love has died and will never come back. You can be friends, maybe BFF - but lovers again? - no.

 

Real life is not like movies and TV. No, you can never go back. You get one chance per person.

 

If you can understand this and believe it, it will save you a lot of confusion, wasted time, and it will set you free.

 

No problem! Just find a new guy and start with a clean slate.