ananowac Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 A month ago I met a guy, he came to me and we spent 2 weeks together. Everything is perfect and he sees it all very seriously. Plus, I've a lot of possibilities to develop and grow next to him. Today my best friend called me. We used to be friends with benefits so we know everything about ourselves and I feel comfy and good next to him. When he lived in Europe I told him it would be nice to have something more serious but he didn't want. Fine. A year ago he went back to Colombia, but we are still in touch. Today he called me and said he feels something to me. Just after I told him I met someone who I have something with. He claimed he didn't tell me anything directly because it's difficult to have distance relationship. I've no idea what to do, as for now, I don't love any of them. On one hand, the guy who I started dating with, treats it all very seriously and even want me to move with him, he found a job for me in the destination country... the only disadvantage is his age - he's 21 yo than me. On the other hand, my best friend has already had his opportunity and it seems that now, when I finally found sb who I connect with, he decided to take some steps.. What would you do in this situation? Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 After two weeks together you're talking about moving with him to another country? You sound very impulsive and immature to me. What's the hurry? You don't love either one of them. Getting to know someone takes time and effort. So far, all you seem to be interested in is how much attention he gives to you. Slow down and learn to delay gratification. It always pays off. Link to comment
ananowac Posted March 30, 2019 Author Share Posted March 30, 2019 I'm not saying I'm moving now. Obviously, I'm not going to leave my job, friends and family and just go with him because he said so :) Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 Sorry, posted twice. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 30, 2019 Share Posted March 30, 2019 Neither one. Both are bad choices. Good God, you have Been dating some old dude for a month and you want to move in! What's the big rush? That's crazy! You should not move in until you have been dating a year. The only reason the other guy said that, is because he does not want you to date another, it has nothing to do with wanting to date you. He is in Columbia, so what does it matter . Why are you so desperate to have a man in your life? Link to comment
smackie9 Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 We see this type of thread all the time and the advice always given is that both are not a good choice. Guy #1 is too old, and guy#2 is unreliable and can't be trusted. fail. You can do better than this. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 I don't love any of them. This is the reason for your confusion. It's as simple as this. Keep swimming. If you feel desperate for a man, it might be an indication that you need to work on your confidence and independence. Link to comment
yu8i Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 Take some time to yourself and realize that you can do better. If these two cause you so much stress than they’re not good for you Link to comment
Gary Snyder Posted March 31, 2019 Share Posted March 31, 2019 You and your old boyfriend want to get back together - but it failed already, and the love died, it and it will likely never return. You get one chance at love per-person. It's not like you see in TV and movies - in reality, people rarely get together seriously after a long breakup. This is reality-check time. The answer is crystal clear - date the new guy, the ex is a lost cause. edit: you were just fwb so that's even less than love - if you guys were that close, if you two were ever to fall in love, it would have happened back then. (edited to fix typo) Link to comment
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