astoria55400 Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 My ex wants to meet with me. She wrote:" If you feel up to it, we can meet next week, If you want that is. Let me know" I want to meet with her but what does she mean exactly in her text? I do not want to be hurt again… What do you think? Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Ask her what she's looking for. If she falls apart at the question or forgets the alphabet, don't waste your time. Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Who broke up with whom and why? Did she contact you out of the blue and ask that or had you still been talking about the breakup? How long ago did you breakup? Link to comment
SarahLancaster Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Yes, more information needed. Link to comment
astoria55400 Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 She broke with me. 5 weeks of no contact. I invited her to a party with mutual friends because I did not want to explain to anyone why she was not invited. She declined because she has some plans, thanked me for the invitation in a nice way and wrote "f you feel up to it, we can meet next week, If you want that is. Let me know". I don't know why she wants to meet with me. Should I ask her why she wants to see me? she had told me that I should move on because the relationship was neither good for her or I. If she wants to meet to tell me that again with more details, I am not sure I want to see her... Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Then you made first contact and that negates (I think) any real interest on her part in reconciling. If I were you I would just ignore the invite or at the very least, ask her what would be the purpose of meeting if "the relationship is not good for either of us?" Then wait and see what she has to say. Perhaps her answer will satisfy your curiosity. Thing is, if the relationship is not good for either of you then you would do well to stop inviting her places or talking to her.... doing so will help you to get to the stage of indifference to her so you can find someone new and not have her still on your mind. Link to comment
bluecastle Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Sounds like you could use some more time and space. Five weeks is a blink in these matters. She's not reaching out to see you out of the blue, but basically offering an alternative to seeing each other at the party. If she's not offering a pivot from move on/relationship was bad for us then she's likely not had a change of thought, but isn't opposed to a friendly catch-up—"if you want that is." That, to me, is basically her letting you know that nothing has changed for her emotionally. If you're okay with that, have a coffee. But if you're looking for more, I'd continue on the path of healing. General rule of thumb: you know you're ready to meet up with an ex when they ask, you say sure, and don't really think about it all that much. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Ignore. Time to move forward. "told me that she would never be with me anymore." All you need to know. Block and delete. Link to comment
Rose Mosse Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 She broke with me. 5 weeks of no contact. I invited her to a party with mutual friends because I did not want to explain to anyone why she was not invited. She declined because she has some plans, thanked me for the invitation in a nice way and wrote "f you feel up to it, we can meet next week, If you want that is. Let me know". I don't know why she wants to meet with me. Should I ask her why she wants to see me? she had told me that I should move on because the relationship was neither good for her or I. If she wants to meet to tell me that again with more details, I am not sure I want to see her... You could have easily said you had split and changed the subject. You don't owe your friends an explanation and you certainly didn't need to invite her to the party. Next time be a bit more head on and upfront so that you don't have to deal with backlash like this. She's out of your life and an ex. Treat her like one and move on. If you are dying to know why she wants to meet with you, point blank ask her. Like I said, if she loses her vocal cords or forgets the alphabet, you have your answer.... for the second time. I wouldn't advise treating her like she's part of your life anymore. Link to comment
Wolfshook Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Breadcrumbs mate, breadcrumbs. Link to comment
astoria55400 Posted March 28, 2019 Author Share Posted March 28, 2019 If you feel up to it, we can meet next week, If you want that is. Let me know" Are the word that she used appropriate in this kind of context? It seems to me that she is saying Are you brave enough to meet? I may be wrong! English is my second language. Link to comment
Hollyj Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 If you feel up to it, we can meet next week, If you want that is. Let me know" Are the word that she used appropriate in this kind of context? It seems to me that she is saying Are you brave enough to meet? I may be wrong! English is my second language. What does it matter. She does not want to be with you. Link to comment
AlexanderK Posted March 28, 2019 Share Posted March 28, 2019 Don’t waste your time. Find yourself a new one. You have already tried a relationship with her and failed (as I assume by reading your thread). Not only that but you got hurt also. What makes you think that it won’t fail the next time? Chances are that it will fail for the same reason. If I were you I wouldn’t cling to my ex. I would find someone else who meets my needs and wants and to whom I resonate better with. Don’t waste your time. Find yourself a new one. Link to comment
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