RunnerGrlX Posted March 26, 2019 Share Posted March 26, 2019 Ok folks - I apologize in advance, this is long winded So I decided finally to try out a dating website to meet hopefully a man with the potential for a LTR/marriage & the prospect to have children. Yes it sounds like a lot, but I was being upfront & honest about what my intentions are, being I am 37 I am not looking to date someone for years on end. After about a month and a half of failed attempts I received an email from a 40 y/o man. He was cute, read his profile, we seemed to be on the same page. Turns out he has been widowed for a year and has two small children (2 & 5). After some digging, I came to see that he emailed me the day after his late wife's' bday (was that a red flag?!). We exchanged a couple of emails back and forth & hit it off immediately. I, for one, have never hit it off with any man that easily before. He even agreed that the feeling was mutual. Then we took it a step up to talking on the phone. Our conversations pursued even longer & still just as great, so we made plans to meet. He drove down to meet me at a fancy restaurant near my beach home which is over an hour away (my other home is located 5 minutes from where he lives). When we met all I could think was wow I hit the jackpot. We closed out the restaurant with our 4 hour meal of laughter & talking. He walked me to my car where I gave him a quick peck goodnight – I was officially sold on him. The next day he called me to plan our next date, which due to travel & work schedules, was set for Valentine's Day. He picked me up, and again date #2 was another great night. I thought wow, this may really have the potential to go somewhere, and how did I get so lucky. After that our interaction was limited to talk’s every single night. While it bothered me that we had not seen one another, I understood being he has children & sometimes our schedules aren’t exactly compatible. Then, towards the last two weeks our communication went south. I couldn't understand what the issue was, so I called him. He just kept apologizing, so I asked him for what? - his response "I’m not ready, you're soo great, I am so sorry but I still love her & need to be there for my children. Right now I just need some space" I told him that I know he still loves her and he always will, which I understand. All he did was apologize & tell me how I am so great, he didn't think he would meet someone like me, how I am beyond beautiful & he feels awful" So the end result, he needs space & we should take it slow. I NEVER saw this coming. I am crushed. In all of the dating I have done, I have never met someone like him. We had the same values, traditions, dreams, children, spousal roles, interests, religious values, needs & expectations, ideals, literally we were on the same wavelength with one another in all of the areas where it counts in a spouse/marriage. To me, this man is more than worth it, he has met my mom, I have photos and videos he sent me of his children. Also his child had a virus & I sent a text to say that I hope he feels better, fully assuming that would be the last communication. A day later he gets back to me and we were texting about the child and their plans for the day... I have not heard anything since (ok granted it has only been 3 days) but I am not sure he will reach out to me again & since he said he needs space, I feel I cannot reach out to him for a good 2-3 weeks, if at all. My friend feels that he may have started to fall for me or started to notice feelings like when he was married & it scared the heck out of him.. I am, well, devastated to put it mildly... Do I give him space, or do I just leave the situation alone & move on? Link to comment
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