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The guy I like doesn't like me back


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Hello, so I really like this one guy I have a big crush on him, we are friends in a 5 person friend group. hes so funny and cute and I just really like him. However, im pretty sure he doesn't like me back.. and another guy in our friend group likes me a lot, we will name him Tom. Tom treats me soooooo good, hes so so sweet and just an amazing guy, but I don't like him like that.. I've told him and he is okay with us being friends and he still treats me the same. and the guy I like we will name him Sam, doesn't give me any attention like tom does. tom is constantly asking to hangout and he surpises me with food and calls me beautiful and all this amazing stuff. I just wish Sam would treat me the way Tom does because I like sam not tom. sorry this may be confusing but I don't know what to do. I feel so upset that sam doesn't like me because of how much I like him, and I just compare him to tom because I want sam to treat me the way tom does.

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Wishing "Sam" would be anything other than he is, is a complete waste of time and energy. He is who he is and you need to accept that.


If you continue to pursue "Sam" you will end up in a situation where you are being used and ignored and probably treated like crap. He will see you as someone that he can take advantage of that will accommodate his needs vs. the other way around.


Also, don't use "Tom" either in order to make yourself feel better.


Consider stepping outside your friends group to find someone that will be more compatible and available for the kind of relationship you want.

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Sam may think you're Tom's girlfriend due to the fact you guys are always together. If you don't like Tom the way he likes you then don't encourage him and kindly turn down most of these hangouts and food/gift givings. He needs to be over his crush on you so he can find a girlfriend who wants to be his girlfriend.

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  • 5 months later...

There is nothing you can do. If you make it pretty clear to a guy that you like him, and he still does not give you any encouragement, then it really is hopeless, because guys have a much lower bar for initiating a relationship (sex, to be clearer) than girls, so if you made yourself obviously receptive and he did not take the bait, then Sam has absolutely no interest in you.


I have seen girls moved by a guy's dedication to give him a chance (it did not work out in the long run anyway) and date him for a while, but I have never seen a guy change his mind about a girl he lacks interest in. If he is a gentleman he will keep his distance to avoid hurting the girl, if he is not he will just use her for an easy lay and move on.


Sorry to be so brutally honest. There is no sugar-coating the truth.

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