Nebraskagirl14 Posted March 22, 2019 Share Posted March 22, 2019 As some of you may remember, I posted a while back about meeting a friend (we are both women) at the gym. I'm gay. She's not. That ultimately doesn't matter but it did make me self-conscious as I wanted to be friends with her and I wanted to make an effort without looking like I was hitting on her. Fast forward to present day. She is really cool in person. Totally friendly. Has no problem chatting with me like actual friends do. We'll talk about books and movies. I asked her if she wanted to have coffee. She said totally. That hasn't happened but that's fine. Here's the thing... as soon as we leave the gym, it's like we aren't friends. If I text her to ask a question, she'll answer after like 7 hours. If I text her to tell her that I love the show she recommended to me on Netflix, she likely won't respond. I can't figure it out. Perhaps she just isn't into texting but here's how I feel. If you text someone and they want to talk to you, they respond. I mean, she has been going through a lot of personal stuff and so it's not something I'm fretting about too much or taking that personally but I don't understand why someone would be so friendly in person and then just seemingly not interested in anything else. And as you all may recall, she is the one that asked for my phone number and not the other way around. I probably shouldn't think about this anymore but I typically read people really well and there is nothing about our exchange in person that says she is feeling awkward about us being friends. Nothing. She is actually a lot like me, personality-wise. Part of me feels like, well, maybe I ought to not text her anymore (and for the record, I maybe text her once a week, maybe) and that's fine but then I feel like I'm not being myself. Why shouldn't I tell someone, "Thanks for the book rec" just because they don't respond??? It's all very puzzling because I DO want to get to know her better and I feel like that will only happen if someone initiates convo and clearly that person has to be me. Thanks for any thoughts, all. I mean, I don't think you should have to try that hard to be friends with someone and I don't understand why she doesn't care to be more than gym friends as we have a lot in common but I guess she doesn't. Link to comment
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