g145t67 Posted March 21, 2019 Share Posted March 21, 2019 Advice please! Me and my boyfriend have been together almost 2 years, and he is having a major surgery in a hospital near his parents house, who will be looking after him after the surgery. We dont live together but are in a very committed and serious relationship, and planning to move in together once we can afford it. I have not met his parents yet, mainly due to me having a very busy schedule (I'm currently working 3 jobs), and his mum saying she needs 2 weeks notice before I can visit. I had planned to go down to his parents house for 4 days, to be with him during and after the surgery, as he said he wanted me to be there, and of course I do too. He said he mentioned this to his parents a few weeks ago, who were fine with it at the time, however when he brought it up again this week, his mum apparently started flapping about it and said she didnt think it was a good idea, but could not give any reason as to why. Of course I respect her decision as it is her home and if she does not feel happy with me staying there then that is up to her. She then messaged me today (first time we have spoken), saying she did not think it was a good idea for me to visit him until the week after his surgery. However I dont have a day off work at all that week, but have booked the time of his operation off so I could be there and support him. She has been very sweet over text and said she is looking forward to meeting me. However my boyfriend has told me that his mum is very controlling and over-protective (he is the youngest of 4), and I am getting the impression she just does not want me there as she wants to be the only one looking after him. I am planning to go to the hospital regardless to visit for a couple of hours in the evening. However when he mentioned this to his mum she was not happy about it and said she would be anxious about me travelling there?? It is only a short journey and as someone who has lived completely independently for the last 5 years, seems quite patronising and a strange thing to say? I have always been a very independent person, and am not at all used to people or parents making decisions for me or telling me what I can/can't do. I feel as though I am being treated like a child, and as though our relationship is not deemed important. In my eyes, me and my partner are in a serious, adult relationship and I dont understand why his mother feels she has any right to decide whether or not I visit him. However I also dont want to start off on the wrong foot and create any tension between us before we have even met! Am I being unreasonable, and how do I handle this? Link to comment
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