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Ex still having loves notes and photos all around?

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I left my exgf 2.5 months ago because she was doubting her feelings for me for several months and I could not bear it any more.


Last week I had to visit her home and to my surprise, our photos together were still on the wall. It is not only that she has not paid attention to the photos because she has added new ones (did not check wether any of them included me). Also, I used to leave here loving notes in the mornings and she kept them on the fridge. They are still there! Even she has moved some of them!


I cannot understand this. On of her best girl friends says it is normal as it is a part of her life but how come if she is who was saying "I love you but I think I am not in love with you?" Is this a normal thing to you? Nobody I have talked to about this considers this normal but her friend. Perhaps I am wrong considering this is not normal?


By the way, the psychologist told me that, in this case, she started the relationship with lots of fear (her ex left her and her child for her best friend). When we went (by my suggestion) to counseling she said one thing: "I was feeling bad because of my job. When I changed job, I still felt bad and thought about what can be wrong and the other thing I found was my boyfriend". So It seems she started to create a negative landscape around me for no reason looking for a way to fly. So it seems she was scaping, not because I was bad for her, but because of her own, internal problems. So it's been kinda weird situation and painful for me.


And no, two and a half months later I find the photos, the notes, she has gained a lot of weight, sleeps badly, and says needs to think but cannot and all she does is watching Netflix to avoid thinking... So it seems more or less clear I was not the problem .


What's your opinion about the photos, notes and everything? Has it happened to you something like this were personal problems were projected to you and destroyed your relationship?


It's weird (at least for me).

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It sounds like she had a bad breakup with her ex and was on the rebound and never really loved you fully.


But she did love you a little, for a time - and the pics remind her of better times, even though she may not want to get back together. People like to hold on to the past, it's human nature - especially when that past is all they have.

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Some people do keep the photos up and others immediately take them down and some even burn them. I guess some people like to keep thoughts and images of there past and others just like to get rid of it all together. I really don't know why she would still have the need to display it all instead of maybe keeping all those past memories in a box, but maybe she has a reason for that. Many of my girlfriends still have photos on the IG pages of the EX BF and they said they are not taking it down. There reasoning it is part of there lives.

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You are broken up. What she does with her life now is not your concern. If she wants to keep the notes and photos then that's her perogative. This shouldn't matter to you and no longer has anything to do with you. You do not have a right to judge her for this. She is simply just not ready to let those little things go just yet and that's ok. Why did you have to visit her home?

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The breakup is still fresh. So what if she still has a photo up of the two of you. its her right to do so and when she is ready on her own, she may do something else with them. Why do you care?


I care because, for me, it is quite strange. Didnt know that people could act like this.

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I wonder what the person she was in the 2 year relationship thought of the little notes and pictures on the wall then?


No, I think I did not explain correctly:


- She broke up with her husband

- Had some no serious relationships and serios 2 years one

- Two years later I met her and started dating

- Broke up two and a half months ago

- Today, OUR photos and MY loving notes are still on the walls and fridge.


Perhaps this is how some people process things but not me and this is why I am asking. My friends caannot understand it either.

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Why did you have to go to her home? It sounds like you want her back and are grasping at straws. You need to stop stalking her and stop talking to her people, stop keeping tabs on her, etc.


Get all your stuff out of her house, sever all ties and block and delete her and all her people from your messaging apps and social media. Do this for yourself so you can clear you head and start to move on rather than ponder her post breakup activity.


Typical breakup behavior. People heal/move on in different ways. Since she was over you long ago "I love you but I think I am not in love with you", the pictures don't bother her or mean anything other than a chapter in her life that's now over. Why hope it signifies reconciliation or that she's not over you?

Last week I had to visit her home and to my surprise, our photos together were still on the wall.

And no, two and a half months later I find the photos, the notes, she has gained a lot of weight, sleeps badly, and says needs to think but cannot and all she does is watching Netflix to avoid thinking..

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She said she loves you but is not in love with you. It means that she cares about you but not enough to be in a relationship with you. This is consistent with her behaviour not particularly caring about whether the photos are up or down. I wouldn't overthink it, OP. The bottomline is that the relationship is over and you're a bit too fixated on this one thing.


Leave the irrelevant details about your breakup from gossip with your friends. It has no bearing on your wellbeing now in relation to them being your friends or there for you. This is just gossip about another person at this point. Let her go and leave her in peace. If she's enjoying her Netflix, let her. She's not supposed to be a part of your life any longer.

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Seems consistent with what she was telling you about being emotionally checked out of your relationship. The pics are still up because she doesn't care. They are just part of furniture and fixtures, but don't cause any kind of emotional turmoil, thus no rush to remove everything. It's one of those she'll get around to it when she does....eventually....meanwhile, seeing your face or your notes doesn't make her heart beat any faster and doesn't raise her blood pressure.

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It has been less than 3 months so instead of dealing with the break up she just left all that stuff up. Most people need time to adjust to the reality that the relationship is over (whether or not they ended it) but in time she will start taking things down. She may not have wanted to make it harder on her child as well.


It seems like you are looking for a glimmer of hope that you can reconcile and so you see what you want to see. What I see is a woman that has some issues dealing with life and relationships. It sounds like leaving was the right thing to do for you. I doubt she would have ever been able to fully commit and love you like you loved her.


Keep your distance and let them both heal as you begin to heal yourself.



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