Thedingo Posted March 17, 2019 Share Posted March 17, 2019 Hi, I'm looking for some advice, help and just general consolment really. I'm recently getting divorced as of the start of this year, after 9 years together and a year of marriage I decided that I didn't want to live in a relationship that didn't make me happy. I treated marriage as a band aid thinking it would bring us happinesses and together. During the first 9 weeks of my divorce, I was strongly chased by another divorcee she was divorced the summer before. We got involved, from the get go we clicked I felt. I found(I thought) she was the answer to everything I didn't get from my marriage. This woman absolutely swept me off my feet, I didn't ask for this sort of nurturing and kindness but I absolutely absorbed and fell quite hard for her, her life style and even became quite good friends with her child. Although we never coined this a relationship we promised tobe faithful to one another and I absolute fell for this woman. During this time I found it super hard to process all my thoughts from being in an emotional abusive relationship and ending up in one with which entirely encompassing. 9 weeks which didn't come without its arguments and moment in which I felt to neverous to go out, at fear of seeing my wife. Now this woman, has left. And not in a nice way, I could feel after an argument her distance herself from me emotionally. She asked me to take all my things over WhatsApp, left them all in a Hallway and won't even see me. She left me saying we aren't a compatible match. Which has left me doubly heart broken. I didn't act well in this situation, I was drinking too much. Even involved in drugs in an attempt to process the pain of absolute rejection. I didn't act sensibly by any means. This woman promised to make my 30s what my 20s should have been. We booked gig together, even a holiday with her family. I know this was way too much to fast and I should have gotten myself so involved. But I'm so heartbroken. But I can't get over how much I'm hurting right now, I've asked this lady to give me another chance and she is absolutely convinced it will never work(she's a strong character). But I feel like I haven't had a fair punt at what I could be like as a partner. I've asked her for a drink and gotten rejected Now, in hindsight it was a terrible idea to get so emotional attached so early on and this has given me more chance process and deal with my divorce. But in reality, being 30 and divorced is a terrible terrible feeling. I feel low and suicidal, as my meaning my base has been swept from me. That's not to say I expected this woman to fix me(although she did promise). I was prepared for my marriage to fail, it had been dying for a long time. But this situation I can't navigate. It's completely ruined my mind if I'm honest. So really....after that rant. Where do I turn now? Link to comment
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