Anonymous248 Posted March 15, 2019 Share Posted March 15, 2019 Hi everyone, This post is a bit personal and I’ve never talked about this with anyone before. I don’t feel like anyone I know in person will help in this situation. Me and my boyfriend have been together for two and a half years, and we are currently first years at university. At the start, he regularly watched porn and that was okay as we didn’t live together. But when I moved in with him, I said I wasn’t comfortable with it as I would only be a room away. He agreed that he should stop. Without fail, every single 3/6 months, he goes back on this. For some reason I would be on his phone (always for a reason, never to snoop), and there would be suggestions in his search bar that caught my eye. So id go into his history and see all the porn/sexual images he’s been looking online. After confronting him, it’s always the same explanation. He looks at these things because he’s bored, maybe in the bathroom, he’s sorry, he didn’t think about my feelings in the moment. As it’s happened more and more, this explanation loses its effect. Every 3/6 months I’m crying in front of him telling him how it really hurts my feelings. I tell him it’s not the act of doing it, it’s the lying and hiding. I always tell him that if he gets the urge, to tell me about it. Or if he has actually done it, to tell me about it. He’s never once done that, but I always find out he’s been looking at these things behind my back. It makes me feel self conscious because we live together every day, he sees me get changed and go for showers and normal things that boyfriends see. Then, behind my back he’s looking at girls who are better or different to me in all kinds of ways. How is that meant to make me feel, when he sees me regularly, but likes to look at these things online more. I don’t know how much longer I can take this. After two and a half years of this happening over and over again, I’ve almost completely lost trust. It always happens when I only just forget about it and move on, then I see it again. We have made commitments to each other. We’re in a student accommodation block right now and cannot leave early or we’d have to move home and leave uni. Next year we’re moving into a flat with roommates, we can’t duck out or they’d be screwed. I love him more than anything, but he just keeps betraying my trust. Any advice would be greatly appreciated, thank you Link to comment
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