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I met a girl I really like on vacation, not sure what to do


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So I was on vacation and I met this girl and we really hit it off. We hung out a lot....even had sex (and it was AMAZING). We exchanged phone numbers.

 

She made me feel so good about myself. She was polite, sweet, thoughtful, and kind. Nobody has made me feel this way since my ex broke up with me almost 6 years ago.

 

But I live very far from her. If we kept talking, maybe turned into dating, it would he long distance and I'm not sure I can handle it. And I'm not even sure she'd be interested in that. A very cute sweet girl will have no trouble finding a guy at home.

 

I told her I was leaving today but she didn't believe me (or maybe just jokingly) so I texted her that I was gone, and back home, and no reply (yet). I last saw her about 16 hours ago and already I miss her. I know it sounds lame. I hope she texts me back.

 

But if she does, I don't know if I should like keep flirting with her or see if she wants to date long distance or what. It'd be at least a year before I could probably see her again.

 

I just need some words of wisdom. Tell me what I don't wanna hear if you think it's best. Lay it on me either way. Thanks in advance guys.

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Why didn't she believe you? I hope you made it clear that your stay in the area was temporary before you two had sex.

 

I would chalk it up to a fun vacation fling and leave it at that. Long-distance is difficult, and it would be easy to build her up as the perfect woman (particularly in the situation you described) due to not seeing each other often in person. Take the information that you can find a woman who makes you feel like your ex did and start focusing on dating locally in your home area.

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I once had a similar encounter lol. Last summer I went to the beach about 4 hours away from my home. I met up with someone I matched on tinder and we went out and had a great time. No sex but we kissed. It was great and I developed feelings. Once I left the beach about 3 weeks later they came up to visit me and it sort of felt different in a way. That might be what she could feel? Yes, it’s a good relationship but you could find MANY others that are closer to you.

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LDRs don't really last unless -

 

- you used to be in the same locale, and this is a temporary work or study move - and nobody meets anyone local they think is better in the mean time; or

 

- there is a definite end date, meaning that the relationship is strong enough that one, or both partners are prepared to pack up their life and move.

 

If they are going to work, you need to have a lot of trust, and plenty of time and money so you can see each other physically at reasonable intervals - once a month or whatever - and maybe plan holidays together.

 

If there is real connection, and if enough physical contact is possible that no-one strays, then maybe you'll come out the other end with a strong relationship, but to repeat, only if there is a clear end date to the LD.

 

It doesn't sound like you are contemplating that...

 

But I would also say, you don't have a "full" relationship with this lady yet. So you haven't had a break-up. So all the advice about break-ups doesn't apply.

 

I would say text her, and ask her to talk on skype video. Wear a nice shirt like you were going on a physical date. It subliminally displays that you are willing to make an effort for her.

 

Ask her what she wants, and after you listen to her, talk about your concerns about an LDR - if its relevant to her desires. talk about what you could each do to make it work.

 

No-one should contemplate moving permanently yet, but you could organize a mutual vacation to actually get to know each other and then talk about possible futures.

 

Of course, she may be disinterested in anything "official", as is her right, if so yes text her and flirt with her - if she responds.

 

I'd wait a week or so and maybe text and ask about that skype call, but if you get no response to that - move on.

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I've done a lot of traveling in life. You can meet people you have chemistry with in any corner of the world. It's not uncommon. I don't recommend LDRs for people who are not already in an established relationship and have to be temporarily apart because of work or an education. Why?

 

It's expensive.

 

Lonely nights of merely being a pen pal/Skype buddy.

 

Not a normal pace of dating. Long visits when you do see each other are smothering with someone you barely know.

 

You can't fully know a person and how they live their daily lives. It takes longer to see any skeletons in their closet if any exist.

 

One of you will eventually have to move if it works out, and the person who moves will feel wrenched away from family and friends and possibly a good career.

 

Obviously, my advice is to enjoy the memory of the fling and date locally.

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