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Why is the ex bad mouthing me?


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Just to cut a long story short as most of you know what I went through, a friend got the ex wife in a shopping mall and asked her where I was, she told him we not together because I cheated on her???? My friend said immediately he didn't believe her so I told him the truth and my close friend backed me up...

 

Why would she do that? Is it typical cheater behavior? we dont even communicate only when it comes to my daughter and besides that I dont bother with her or her family.

 

PS @figureitout, went for the counseling for my anger issues.

Edited by Bigboss29
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Just to cut a long story short as most of you know what I went through, a friend got my ex wife in a shopping mall and asked her where I was, she told me we not together because I cheated on her???? My friend said immediately he didn't believe her so I told him the truth and my close friend backed me up...

 

Why would she do that? Is it typical cheater behavior?

 

It wouldn't be totally unusual for a cheater to lie and blame-shift, no. It takes the focus off their own bad behaviour and protects their ego.

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I will be generous to the ex-wife for a second...

 

Did he ask her “what happened”? It’s such an awkward question but SO many people ask. One of my ex’s colleagues ran into me and asked this shortly after our breakup. I just blinked at her (the actual answer: he blindsided me and just decided he didn’t love me anymore?). Do you have to answer that? Particularly being put on the spot, in public, with someone you are not close to? It’s totally awkward.

 

So - unless she went into crazy made-up details about who you cheated with, when and with whom, it could have been a split-second decision. (Answer: cheating - but does she have to admit to cheating on you to this person that just ran into her at the mall?)

 

It’s wrong to turn it around on you... but it’s also wrong and awkward to ask the question unless you are close to the person.

 

Anyways - you know the truth. And it sounds like you have a strong character for your friend to immediately know it was a lie.

 

I wouldn’t worry about it and I wouldn’t give it another thought. The truth always surfaces and you are in the clear.

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Hahaha big boss I LOVED the shout out.

 

My ex told everyone I left him and took everything with me like a thief in the night.

 

Have no idea why he did it, I’m assuming because admitting he abandoned his wife and child and when he tried to come back she finally had enough is a bit embarrassing.

 

Probably something quite similar going on, embarrassment, need to not be the guilty party.

 

The truth always comes out. Always. And if people in your life choose to believe negativity about you without at least asking if it’s true, they probably aren’t worth keeping around anyway.

 

Good for you for facing your anger! I wish you luck o. The rest of your journey, please keep us updated.

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Oh yah, my ex told everyone I woke up one day mysteriously depressed and wanted a divorce. He didn't even see it coming. That and I took all of his money and left him penniless.

 

All that matters here is that there are 2 people who know the truth.

 

Those who listened to that garbage are not my friends and I don't really care what they think.

 

I didn't always feel this way and it took some time.

But even in the end his own family saw through it and stood behind me.

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Thank you for the all the replies, I feel like I'm in a better space so far, but not at that point of being healed. Having limited contact with ex definitely helped, the house is gone so I dont have worry with those painful memories there.

 

Think cutting ties with her family as well helped me alot since I dont have worry helping them out as always... Most of the people that knows us already know the full story so I cant help but smile and laugh at the lies she is telling people about me ha ha ha ha...

 

Will keep everyone posted...

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