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Ex still has stuff after break up


rayray2018
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So, my ex girlfriend still wears the locket I got her for Christmas, normally I wouldn’t think twice about something like that but it’s a locket that has picture of us in it that you can’t take out and she wears it a lot. I also found out that she still had the flowers I got her from 3 mo the ago even though they are dead. We broke up last month, talked a few times after the break up got in some arguments about it but have not talked since 2 weeks ago after she said she’s done ( which she said a few times and while we dated) I just think it’s weird that she had the locket and flowers. Does it mean she is not over me? She broke up with me by the way, thank you! :)

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My exwife still wears her wedding ring (on another finger) and still has every photo of us on her FB.

 

Is she back with me? Nope. She's with someone else...

 

Just because someone still has momentos of the time together and still may even care about us doesn't mean they want to be with us....

 

Sorry Ray*

 

Regards

Carus*

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I think that we're just so different people, that interpreting things like this don't make sense.

 

I am a super nostalgic person, and have collected momentos of things from childhood 'till now. Letters, little items, jewellery etc. The things connected to my ex is "poison" to me now. All the pictures, all the t-shirts, the gifts, everything connected to him that I don't need to use (i.e my car...) I've locked away. I don't want to see them or use them or think of them. So if I were your ex, it would be like a shoutout to the world that i wanted you back. But we're all different. Most of my friends are similar to nutbrownhare in the above post, it's just things. Might be things with meaning, but it's not a message or anything, or they're a reminder of the good things one might want to remember.

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Interestingly enough my ex and I broke up a bit less then a month ago for good, and I still wear the earrings and ring he gave me. I don't necessarily want to get back with him because I know the relationship was toxic, but for some reason I am not able to take these mementos off. It's kind of like admitting that things are over for good, and I'm not quite ready to do that yet. But I'm sure I will be in the future. I guess what I'm saying is, that these things still mean something to her, because you obviously shared something special, but it doesn't mean she wants to be with you again... sorry

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A woman thinks long and hard before making the major decision to break up. And for you to wish for reconciliation isn't good for moving on. If she cared enough, she would've fixed problems with you instead of dumping you. And past behavior predicts future behavior. If she got back together with you, after the newness wore off again, she'd likely break up once more.

 

For closure, stop asking what she's doing. She's in your past so leave her there. The right woman for you won't ever break up with you.

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Obsessing about her actions and what they "mean" will keep you from moving on. I've been there. That's why I recommended that you stop thinking about no contact as a strategy to get her back in your last post. Not only is it not a strategy, but thinking NC will bring her back will keep you at square one (no acceptance). You're bargaining with yourself and you want us to tell you that her wearing these mementos means maybe she hasn't fully moved on. Even if we tell you she hasn't, though, it won't change the reality. It's time to work on letting go.

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Once a gift is given - it belongs to the recipient. if you just broke up recently, I can understand why she hasn't gotten rid of the flowers yet.

 

Also unless its made of paper, i have never seen a locket where a photo can't be removed.

 

No matter what - healing takes time whether you are the dumper or dumpee and sometimes -- not always - but sometimes the dumper was just the one to pull the trigger first - things were mutually going down the tubes. I dated a guy who would say all sorts of things and push me away so i would dump him so he didn't have to

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I still have and wear jewelry given to me by exes. I like the way it looks. That's really all there is to it for me. It's all from exes I had years ago, and we've all long moved on. She might like the way the locket looks, regardless of what's inside.

 

I think you're reading too much into it.

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