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Should I message her on Facebook?


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I work in retail and this cute girl came to the counter to exchanged some transmission fluid. I helped her out getting the right fluid for her car. She told me she wants to learn to do basic maintenance on her car and she was asking me questions about what jack and stands to buy and where to place them. Its great she's into cars just like me.

 

I was going to tell her that I get off in a few hours and I'd be happy to show where to place the Jack and stands under the car. I didn't get that chance because my boss came to me and said I had to go to the counter because there's a line of customers.

 

I rang her out at the register and she wanted to be a rewards member and I signed her up. She left with a smile and said thank you for all your help. I wish I had that chance to ask her out, only if I didn't get interrupted by my boss.

 

I looked her up and she's on Facebook and also she enjoys the outdoors and nature just like me and her status is single. My question is should I send her a message? Or is that being a creep? I don't know what she will think? What do you think I should do? Thanks

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no that would be creepy...

let's hope she comes to the store next time and MAKE SURE YOU ASK HER OUT...

or if she provided any info to the store (email hopefully) you can reach out to somethign she DID provide as a "follow up" and ask how things are doing and that if she wanted some lessons you are "free this upcoming....." and can plan to meet her to go voer some "basic things"...

 

but DON'T blind side her unexpectedly... that's immediate grounds for flunking out with a female.

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I'm going to go against the grain here and say do it.

 

As a female, I'd be flattered by this, and I'd probably give you a chance.

 

I've had similar things happen like this, and while I didn't always go out with the guy, it definitely flattered me enough that I gave it a shot.

 

I'll tell you the strangest story like this, that happened to me. LSS: I did go out with him, and while he was a lovely guy, there wasn't enough chemistry to continue:

 

So.....I was in traffic court on a speeding ticket, but the officer who wrote my ticket hadn't shown. Another officer walked over and started asking me some information. He took my ticket and went to the computer. He came back and said it looked like my officer wasn't going to show, so I was free to leave....and they dismissed the ticket.

 

About a week later, I received a letter in the mail.....yes snail mail! This was about 20 years ago. From the officer who dismissed me. It was almost 2 pages, basically asking me out, in a clumsy sort of way. Turned out, he was a young widower, his wife had died of cancer, and he was raising his daughter. Sounds pretty scam-like to write it out now, but this was pre-internet, and I was much more trusting. He enclosed his "officer" business card and said that if I liked, I could call him, but that he'd leave that in my court. So, I called, and we had a date. Turned out to be totally on the up & up. Very nice, we had Mexican food, but just....no chemistry for me.

 

Funniest thing....when he arranged the date, he said he'd pick me up at 7:00pm. I started to tell him where I lived and how to get there (remember, pre-internet, pre-Waze), he goes, "Um, I got it". Duh....of course....being a police officer!

 

Here's the thing: I never for a moment viewed this as creepy, but instead, as super sweet. I still have that letter.

 

Another quick one: I got a note on my car one day from a guy who apparently rode the same park & ride bus as I did, basically asking me out. He was super cute, and we went out a few times.

 

OK one more....I got a Facebook friend request from a doctor who is technically a client, but with whom I barely work. As in, I've only met him very briefly. I accepted the request, thinking it was odd, and then I got a Messenger from him, asking me out. I politely declined, but only because he's technically a client, and this is business. Otherwise, I'd have said yes.

 

I say, go for it.

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Edited - if you do want to do that I'd get approval from a supervisor (no I personally wouldn't have the nerve to ask but it depends on your relationship with your supervisor). This is a rewards program and if word gets out that employees are using the information for any other reason it could jeopardize the program especially today with all the credit card hacking going on, etc.

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Guys this poster posts every few months or so about being a kissless virgin and he asks obscure questions, Im assuming to be discouraged so he can continue on with the status quo... he never actually goes through with any of his ideas...

 

Aaaack.....that's what I get when I don't read the history.

 

While I stand by my stories, I agree that you should get your supervisor's approval should you decide to do this.

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Nope.

Wait for her to come in again.

And when she does, invite her to come back to the STORE and pick your brain.

Develop a rapport.

if its a car part place and she came in to talk about cars--that's not really anything extra in common.

I "would" offer to come out and take a look at her car. At my local auto place, employees do come out to check the battery or to chat about the person's car.

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I wouldn't - but if she felt a connection she'll be dang sure to come back when you are working and you can ask her out then.

 

This.

 

I would be creeped out if some random guy at the mechanic's lifted my information and looked me up online. It's too risky and you stand to get in hot water with your employer for using customer's info that way. Where I work, it's grounds for termination.

 

Wait to see if she comes back and strikes up more conversation with you. If she doesn't, assume she doesn't harbour the same interest.

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  • 1 month later...
It's been weeks and haven't seen her at the store. After reading all the comments, I agree messaging her on Facebook isn't good and is creepy. It sucks for me because opportunities like this rarely happens.

 

That's the thing though, OP. There wasn't really an opportunity.

 

In her mind, you were a customer she was trying to help. That's all. An opportunity would be more along the lines of her having struck up more conversation, or hinting she'd like to get to know you better. I think you misread the situation because you found her attractive.

 

Do you have much opportunity to socialize around women? Community clubs or teams, local events, and so on? You're more likely to have luck meeting a like-minded woman in that setting rather than her workplace in which it's difficult to approach her.

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That's the thing though, OP. There wasn't really an opportunity.

 

In her mind, you were a customer she was trying to help. That's all. An opportunity would be more along the lines of her having struck up more conversation, or hinting she'd like to get to know you better. I think you misread the situation because you found her attractive.

 

Do you have much opportunity to socialize around women? Community clubs or teams, local events, and so on? You're more likely to have luck meeting a like-minded woman in that setting rather than her workplace in which it's difficult to approach her.

I've joined many clubs in the past and that didn't work. There were girls but many were either to young or to old or already had a bf. There was one girl that I was interested in but she wasn't interested in me. But I do go to the park and forest preserve just about every single day.

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I've joined many clubs in the past and that didn't work. There were girls but many were either to young or to old or already had a bf. There was one girl that I was interested in but she wasn't interested in me. But I do go to the park and forest preserve just about every single day.

 

That makes no sense "that didn't work" - meaning fine, it didn't work in the past with those particular clubs but that doesn't mean you write off an entire way to meet new people. That's great that you go to the park and forest preserve. How many people do you interact with in a social way when you are there?

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  • 2 weeks later...

The forest perserve and park, I dont think is a good place to meet girls. All the girls I always see have headphones on and they don't make eye contact when I look at them. I do say hi and make eye contact, with no response. I'm assuming they can't hear me with the headphones but I doubt it. Or majority of them are zoned out in nature.

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