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Ex wants to move to the next street


Willowtreebe
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I wrote a previous post where my ex dated another girl and lied about it whilst we were in the early stages. A few other things were at play and I decided to end the relationship.

 

My ex is moving out of my house and even though he said he never liked my neighbourhood and hated my gym which he joined, he has now decided that he wants to stay in the area. Not only that, but he wants to move in with two women at the end of my street.

 

I have asked him not to, it will not help me heal or help with making a fresh start.

 

Is this some kind of torture? Please advise what you would do in this situation.

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Unfortunately you have no power over where he chooses to live. Maybe it's a way of getting back at you, maybe it's not. I'd letting him live wherever he wants to live but cut contact with him completely to heal. This means deleting and even blocking if necessary on cellphone and all social media. You have only power over your actions and reactions.

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Ouch, sorry about that.

 

There are alternatives though - you could date others, even thought you don't feel like it - that would take your mind off of him. Also getting involved in your life like with work, friends, family, hobbies or other activities can help. Finally.........and you may not like this idea, but it is a possibility - you could move yourself. Good luck to you.

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You simply don't get to tell your ex where he can and cannot live or with who. It's also not his job to help you heal and move on. That's on you entirely. That means cutting all contact and focusing on yourself, your life, your work, your hobbies, friends and most importantly mental and emotional health. Basically, you need to do the work on yourself now that you didn't do before when you were getting divorced and chose to jump into this relationship. Listen to your friends and family because they were right back then - you need to take a time out to get up on your own feet sans men and actually learn that you can be whole and enjoy life. Heal.

 

Also, please don't victimize yourself. No, there is no evil plan on your ex's part about moving just down the road from you. No, he isn't looking to torment you. He can't - you broke up. Nobody can torment you unless YOU stay involved in the drama and actually let them. When you cut a person off, it's over. Some of this thinking you have going on is pretty messed up and again, you really really need to take some serious time out to heal both from your divorce and from this break up and get your head on straight. You've been through a lot with a cheating ex-h, but there comes a time where you have to stop running from it and do some spring cleaning and house keeping so to speak for your own sake and sanity and your ability to have a healthy relationship down the road.

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yeah you have no say over what he does. eveybody has a right to do as they please and what works for them.

you especially have ZERO say on what he does when you're not with him.

 

lastly, by asking him not to, it actually puts the power in HIS corner to do so - see what i mean?

 

act like you don't care - then dont' care if he does. then the power is back in your court (and most likely he won't do it).

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