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I think this guy I’m talking to is bi :-/


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So been

Chatting to this guy and well

I think he is bi. He hasn’t said that he likes men in that way.

But he said he has done things with men

And has occocially gone to gay

clubs 😑🤦🏻♀️ His been completely honest about this which is great but erm I’m abit like ahh

 

 

 

He posts weird things on his Facebook

‘ wife material ‘

 

Then texts me saying

‘ I have concerns on my mind and don’t know where I am in life ‘

 

Do you think I should avoid this guy?

Maybe his confused what he wants?

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Imo yes you should avoid him. He doesn't know what he wants and it could be that he is struggling with his sexual orientation as well. Personally, I would not knowingly date someone who is bi. Too complicated, and too risky imo.

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Love it when a thread like this pops up and the bi phobia comes out in force.

 

It is not "more risky" to date someone who is bi unless you subscribe to the (completely inaccurate) stereotype that all bi people are sex crazed maniacs who will do it with anything that moves.

 

Bisexual people are just like any other. They are not more likely to cheat, or become dissatisfied just because they are bi. I'm bi and happily married to a man.

 

So if you're hesitant about dating a bi guy for that reason, maybe ask yourself why you have this misconception. Odds are it is an internal prejudice you didn't realize you had.

 

That said, it sounds like he might not be sure he is ready for a relationship with anyone (which can happen whether you're bi or straight). If that's the case, then I would maybe hold off until he knows what he wants.

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No -I was referring to what he wrote to her:

 

He posts weird things on his Facebook

‘ wife material ‘

 

Then texts me saying

‘ I have concerns on my mind and don’t know where I am in life"

 

 

And it's perfectly appropriate not to want to date someone who dates both men and women -a preference like any other. Nothing to do with phobia. But in this case I would advise her not to meet him because he doesn't seem available for a potential relationship with anyone and he is a stranger so why take that on? ‘

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Love it when a thread like this pops up and the bi phobia comes out in force.

 

 

Sorry, its not about bi phobia its about having boundaries. I can be as picky as i want to be in screening men to potentially be the closest human being to me physically, emotionally, etc. If i don't want date a guy who is promiscuous with women, is bisexual, has face tattoos, is of a faith that is wildly incompatible with mine and so on and so forth -- i am absolutely allowed. There is no "fear" associated with it --- choosing a boyfriend is not like choosing friends or people for your Amway downline.

 

If i want a monogamous relationship, I need to look elsewhere if someone in the early stages of texting back and forth that they have "done stuff with men" or even "i did stuff with women" for that matter. Its one thing if you are on date 22 and a man confides that he had sex with another man 20 years ago but has dated women monogamously since vs a guy who "leads" with it to either shock/tantalize/warn you - but its another if that's the "lead"

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Love it when a thread like this pops up and the bi phobia comes out in force.

 

It is not "more risky" to date someone who is bi unless you subscribe to the (completely inaccurate) stereotype that all bi people are sex crazed maniacs who will do it with anything that moves.

 

Bisexual people are just like any other. They are not more likely to cheat, or become dissatisfied just because they are bi. I'm bi and happily married to a man.

 

So if you're hesitant about dating a bi guy for that reason, maybe ask yourself why you have this misconception. Odds are it is an internal prejudice you didn't realize you had.

 

Imo, you are projecting your own fear/preconceptions here. Phobia no, a preference yes. Not because "all" are X=whatever. I have good friends that are bi and I have good friends who are gay. I do not think that they "all bi people are sex crazed maniacs" / more promiscuous. I do have a preconception that "some" bi men may be people in transition/ not settled on their sexuality and I would not knowingly want to invest on someone who may turn out to be gay. The guy in question did not sound "settled" whatever he may be.

 

People may not want to date other people for all kinds of reasons/preferences: religion, age, appearance, having children, height, whatever. Basically what abitbroken wrote.

Edited by Clio
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