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I can’t tell if she’s leading me on or actually interested


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I met this girl a month ago. Since then we have made an actual connection I feel. But Im unsure. This girl wants me to be this sweet open guy about my feelings. Telling me sometimes how She doesn’t feel pretty and that she realizes I’m not the type to compliment a lot, she likes it when I do. So, I’ve been trying telling her I pretty she is etc. we sometimes talk about the future and our intentions towards eachother. Her intentions seem to change sometimes. But she likes to make jokes about a future between us.

From the moment I met her she has been open about her attraction to me. About a week ago she told me she liked me and I said the same. We make plans to see eachother but it doesn’t happen as much as we plan. Most of these plans are her ideas and she falls through on them. We have plans this week but I’m not sure if it’s going to happen. We Had plans last week and they fell apart but we did meet on Wednesday and we made out a little and touched etc. it seems like she likes me. She says it. She acts like she does. But it confuses me when she makes plans and cancels them. I told her I like women who are straightforward and she has been. I want to be the guy she wants the one who brings her flowers just cause and show her how much she matters. But I’m scared she might be playing me and I don’t want to be a fool... again. What should I do?

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I met this girl a month ago. Since then we have made an actual connection I feel. But Im unsure. This girl wants me to be this sweet open guy about my feelings. Telling me sometimes how She doesn’t feel pretty and that she realizes I’m not the type to compliment a lot, she likes it when I do. So, I’ve been trying telling her I pretty she is etc. we sometimes talk about the future and our intentions towards eachother. Her intentions seem to change sometimes. But she likes to make jokes about a future between us.

From the moment I met her she has been open about her attraction to me. About a week ago she told me she liked me and I said the same. We make plans to see eachother but it doesn’t happen as much as we plan. Most of these plans are her ideas and she falls through on them. We have plans this week but I’m not sure if it’s going to happen. We Had plans last week and they fell apart but we did meet on Wednesday and we made out a little and touched etc. it seems like she likes me. She says it. She acts like she does. But it confuses me when she makes plans and cancels them. I told her I like women who are straightforward and she has been. I want to be the guy she wants the one who brings her flowers just cause and show her how much she matters. But I’m scared she might be playing me and I don’t want to be a fool... again. What should I do?

 

Don't buy her flowers until you are sure that she as into you as you appear to be into her. Why don't YOU make a plan with a place a time and a date and if she doesn't accept or she cancels on you again after you've done that then just next her, she's a flake that you don't want to get yourself shredded over.

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I like ThatwasThen’s advice. Take the initiative and schedule a date. If she cancels, move on.

 

If she approaches you after the fact, that’s if she flakes, tell you’re only interested in dating women who follow through on scheduled plans.

 

She’s wasting your precious time when she cancels - No one has time for that. I wouldn’t have the patience to deal with someone who doesn’t respect my time by constantly cancelling/flaking.

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What have been the reasons she has bailed on the plans? Good reasons: teacher or professor assigned unexpected work that now needs to be completed. Shift changed at work. Sick, or helping out someone in an emergency.

 

Bad reasons: Decided to do something with other friends. Just doesn't feel like it. Doesn't give a reason.

 

Her asking you to tell her she's pretty seems to be a bit premature. You've only known her 30 days. She's not your gf. It's okay to tell a partner the things that make you happy, but she's not your partner and so it could be a red flag that she's expecting so much so soon from you.

 

It's also a bit premature to speak of the future until you have passed the honeymoon stage, which usually doesn't end until the 4-6 month mark, if the relationship even lasts that long.

 

Have some standards and make sure you're satisfied more than frustrated when dating someone.

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Are you dating? Or does she just want you to compliment her constantly while she flakes and cancels dates you try to set up? It sounds like she has a bf/is dating others and you are sort of in the friendzone and backup zone if her plan A falls through.

 

Don't waste more time on this. Start talking to and dating other girls. She's stringing you along.

I met this girl a month ago. This girl wants me to be this sweet open guy about my feelings. Telling me sometimes how She doesn’t feel pretty and that she realizes I’m not the type to compliment a lot, she likes it when I do.

 

We make plans to see eachother but it doesn’t happen as much as we plan.

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If their is a genuine reason for the cancellation of dates I would give her the benefit of the doubt... Although only a month and it seems like frequent bailing of a date. That is not the best impression.

 

Personally I would make time to see someone I was interested in. Not cancel last minute. So could be she is not interested.

 

Also there is some issues there with her own confidence in her self. As she wants you to constantly tell her how pretty she is. This is her own self esteem issues. It's not your job to make her feel pretty. Yes compliments are nice but you aren't giving them out so she feels the need to ask you. Not really normal behaviour.

 

Some people aren't compliment givers. Doesn't mean you don't appreciate her beauty it is just the way you are. I'm the same. I'm awfully shy with giving and receiving compliments but I find other cute ways to signal my interest to my date. So don't change who you are because she has told you to change!

 

Talk to her as you have nothing to lose. But just from what you are saying she really isn't worth your time. Lucky you've seen this only in the first month of dating.

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I took your advice and I talk to her about it. She told me she was interested in me and she misses me. She also said it means a lot that I mention I issue with her. And that was pretty much it. That conversation ended and we ended talking about something else for the rest of the night

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You are completely right. She really didn’t give excuse. She said she was going to do something then when I was expecting her to do it. She just didn’t. Never mentioned it again. We talked that whole day and she never mentioned it again. Talked like on the phone no texting. Never came back up. But I will acknowledge she was sick that day. To be honest I kind of thought I gave it to her. So I didn’t wanna bring up the plans again

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Honestly I’m not sure. To be honest the flaming isn’t constant. I just get annoyed when she says she’s going to do something then never does. Perhaps your right. To be honest I know she’s single it’s just we are both single and I get it. I also like to talk to other girls but she is the one I talk to the most and has admitted that I’m the closest to her. But sometimes your right. We go between this friendzone/ something else. Sometimes I feel like she acts and treats me like more than a friend because she wants the attention. A girl just seeking attention scares the crap out of me

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Ok. I made plans with her. In a couple of days. It was her idea before I got a chance. She said she misses me. I hope she doesn’t cancel

 

If she cancels again then you will be being very foolish to keep up any type of interaction with her. If she cancels again you should just next her and ignore her unless she contacts you and if she does contact you, you should keep the convo brief and then tell her you have to go as you are on your way out. Then actually go out and have fun and forget about her.

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Ok so you are well aware of what's going on. The question is why are you wasting your time feeding her ego and acting like a male girlfriend?

Sometimes I feel like she acts and treats me like more than a friend because she wants the attention. A girl just seeking attention scares the crap out of me
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