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I've had to see my boyfriend in secret for 3 and half months because of work (there is a thread on here) but now we are public.

 

He has told me about his medical issues with his arms, He has had attacks of pain (he spasms and wants to scream in pain) at work and I know what to do in an emergency (I've had to help on a date we had)

 

He has a GP doctors appointment, followed by a Hospital consultation and a brain scan coming up.

 

I want to ask him to come, sit in the waiting room so he isn't alone when he gets there and comes out, if he wants to talk he can talk if not we can just head back. I'm scared of hospitals, I'm not sure if my boyfriend is but with everything going on he might not be too keen on them. So I'd like to go and support him.

 

Is it too soon in our relationship? I don't want to go in to the consultation room, I'll wait outside. I just don't want him being alone.

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Wait for him to ask you, don't ask him. You can offer but don't insist or convince. Some people are private about certain things.

I want to ask him to come, sit in the waiting room so he isn't alone when he gets there and comes out, if he wants to talk he can talk if not we can just head back. I'm scared of hospitals, I'm not sure if my boyfriend is but with everything going on he might not be too keen on them.

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Only time my wife has come with me for anything medical was when my lung collapsed. Can't think of any other time I've cared for her to join me. I'd wait to see if he asks you to come, but I don't necessarily think it'd be a terrible move if you wanted to just say, "Lemme know if you want me to come with you or if you need anything." Don't ask him if you can come. That's awkward.

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I agree with the others. It's fine to offer, but then leave it at that. And if he does take you up on it, either now or later, don't make a fuss about it. That can make some people very uncomfortable.

 

This reminds me of something I found cute about my bf. He's a sensitive man, but also stubborn as an ox. He took himself in to the hospital late one night. He texted me so I wouldn't wonder where he is, as we live together. I asked him if he wanted me to come down, he said of course not. I said ok, call me if you need me. An hour later I got a call from him, are you busy? I was sleeping, it was the middle of the night lol. But I just said 'nope, want company?'. 'Yup, actually I'm kind of starving'. And that was that. We were there until mid morning, thankfully it was nothing serious.

 

I guess my point is some people have a harder time with accepting it even if they want it, so making it simple for them to say yes - and respecting no if that is what they tell you - can be a big build in trust there.

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I get everyones point of view thank you.

 

I just don't want him to be alone unnecessarily, if he wants me to bring food in I will. If he wants someone to just hold his hand. I won't make a fuss. He has let me in to his world in regards of what to do during an attack so I thought he might want company going to the hospital.

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Ive just rang him and suggested if he wants me to go with him to appointments I'd be willing to come. He said "I thought you was going to tell me its over, generally thats what people have been doing when they see me have an attack. I've also had two attacks this evening, I didn't want to worry you."

 

I don't know how to take it, that he thinks I'd leave him over it or he couldn't tell me. Then on the flip side he says he didn't tell me because he doesnt want to worry me. but I'm worried now.

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Ive just rang him and suggested if he wants me to go with him to appointments I'd be willing to come. He said "I thought you was going to tell me its over, generally thats what people have been doing when they see me have an attack. I've also had two attacks this evening, I didn't want to worry you."

 

I don't know how to take it, that he thinks I'd leave him over it or he couldn't tell me. Then on the flip side he says he didn't tell me because he doesnt want to worry me. but I'm worried now.

 

Shauna all he meant was he has expected you to be like his pervious experiences and that after seeing him after an attack you would run for the door ..it is not a slur on you at all ...don't look any futher into this .

 

He is as insecure as you .........both of you need to build your self esteem and confidence .

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Ive just rang him and suggested if he wants me to go with him to appointments I'd be willing to come. He said "I thought you was going to tell me its over, generally thats what people have been doing when they see me have an attack. I've also had two attacks this evening, I didn't want to worry you."

 

I don't know how to take it, that he thinks I'd leave him over it or he couldn't tell me. Then on the flip side he says he didn't tell me because he doesnt want to worry me. but I'm worried now.

 

For the love of god, please stop overanalyzing everything. It is exhausting. Stop taking things so fast or assume the negative.

 

If he wants you there, then go and be supportive.

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What happened on that date and how did you have to help him? How old is he? How long has he known about this condition?

 

He has told me about his medical issues with his arms, He has had attacks of pain at work and I know what to do in an emergency. I've had to help on a date we had.

He has a GP doctors appointment, followed by a Hospital consultation and a brain scan coming up.

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What happened on that date and how did you have to help him? How old is he? How long has he known about this condition?

 

He is going through diagnosis, He is seeing all sorts of doctors, consultants and Neurosurgeons and such. It has been under investigation for 2 months but the NHS is quite slow.

 

When we was on the date, we were sat down in starbucks, he started having a seizure and I grabbed hold of him, cuddling him and giving him his spray. When he come round I was reassuring him everythings okay and asking if he needed anything. I was frightened when this happened.

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Since you're discussing problems with health, I want to share my story. I've never spoken about it before but I really require outside help now...

I have problems with my boyfriend. He's a drug addict. I can't say that he has a heavy addiction, but he smokes weed almost every day. Maybe for someone, it's not a problem. But he's been out of work for a couple of years because of this. Also, I suspect that he can sell this stuff. I realized that he needs help. But how to start? How can I explain to him that he mess up my life? I started to look for a professional therapist or rehab center and found a good one on AddictionResource. What can you say? Maybe you could recommend me good rehab centers or doctors? Is it a really good idea send him to clinic or I bother too much? I love him and want to help. But how?

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Cut your losses. Only he can decide to quit, you can't "send him" anywhere.. However you need to go to a Nar-Anon type of support group for friends/family of addicts and figure out why you are throwing your life away on this. You are ruining your life, not him.

 

Also you can start your own thread .

I have problems with my boyfriend. He's a drug addict. Is it a really good idea send him to clinic or I bother too much? I love him and want to help. But how?

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