ThatwasThen Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 ^^^ Very good. "When we reconnected, he told me he is thinking to go away for a fesitve season as he doesn't like Christmas and need some "me" time after the tough year. " This is how he expressed the need for space. I think contacting him was very risky as far as the impression you gave him. I dunno. Since when is contacting one's boyfriend when on a holiday considered to be risky or some sort of bad thing? If he is as into her as she is into him then it won't make one bit of difference. I'm thinking he would be very glad to hear from her. The fact that HE didn't contact her is what sould be the "risky" behavior in my opinion. He was certainly risking her security/investment in this relationship prior to him calling her back. *edited to change word "here" to "hear" duh* Link to comment
boltnrun Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Dear all ,he called me a few minutes after our conversation ended and he said he felt he should tell me how much he misses me. We had a real chat ...it was lovely ....I didn't not expect him to call at all so this was sweet. He also said he bought me a gift. I won't contact him until his return. Do you feel like you can now relax and go about your days until he gets back? Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 ^^^ Very good. I dunno. Since when is contacting one's boyfriend when on a holiday considered to be risky or some sort of bad thing? If he is as into her as she is into him then it won't make one bit of difference. I'm thinking he would be very glad to hear from her. The fact that HE didn't contact her is what sould be the "risky" behavior in my opinion. He was certainly risking her security/investment in this relationship prior to him calling her back. *edited to change word "here" to "hear" duh* Because they are not in a committed relationship and if it is, it is short term and he told her he needed me time. Now that he has called her and they had a lovely chat then it all worked out. If I were she I would have respected his need for me time. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Dear all ,he called me a few minutes after our conversation ended and he said he felt he should tell me how much he misses me. We had a real chat ...it was lovely ....I didn't not expect him to call at all so this was sweet. He also said he bought me a gift. I won't contact him until his return. Ok that sounds very sweet, I'm back to liking him again, lol. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Dear all ,he called me a few minutes after our conversation ended and he said he felt he should tell me how much he misses me. We had a real chat ...it was lovely ....I didn't not expect him to call at all so this was sweet. He also said he bought me a gift. I won't contact him until his return. Wonderful -you must feel so relieved!! Link to comment
ThatwasThen Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Because they are not in a committed relationship I thought that they were? and if it is, it is short term and he told her he needed me time. He didn't say he needed space from her. He just needed me time though. I take that as him wanting to get away from stressors, not her. Now that he has called her and they had a lovely chat then it all worked out. If I were she I would have respected his need for me time.If his definition of "me" time is the same as yours, then certainly but we aren't sure that it is the same. Anyway, he's been boyfriend like by calling her back and telling her that he got her a gift so he's doing some tangible things to show her he values her. :) Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Are you sure he's in Thailand? It's 5:55 in the morning there right now. He immediately picked up when you called earlier too. Was he up all night? I dunno, maybe it's typical over there to stay up all night. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Kat, I also noticed some time stamp inconsistencies and I almost responded but decided against it. For example, I dont see how he could have called 'minutes' afters she called when she was here posting about being more stressed out... but if its her truth, its her truth. At the end of the day, its not healthy to date without an ability to keep your anxieties and insecurities in control. I hope she gets a better handle on them in the future, and I wish her luck. Anxiety can be a b*tch. Link to comment
boltnrun Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 I traveled to a different time zone recently and had trouble adjusting. I ran according to my home time zone for the first few days. It sucked, but my body clock would not cooperate. I'm not sure adding to her anxiety is a good idea, she's already anxious enough! Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 I traveled to a different time zone recently and had trouble adjusting. I ran according to my home time zone for the first few days. It sucked, but my body clock would not cooperate. I'm not sure adding to her anxiety is a good idea, she's already anxious enough! No shes not, she said he just called and everything's back to normal. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 I thought that they were? He didn't say he needed space from her. He just needed me time though. I take that as him wanting to get away from stressors, not her. If his definition of "me" time is the same as yours, then certainly but we aren't sure that it is the same. Anyway, he's been boyfriend like by calling her back and telling her that he got her a gift so he's doing some tangible things to show her he values her. :) Yes it all worked out. I still have the same opinion because of her situation and circumstances and anxiety/insecurity before he left too and their on/off. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 Not trying to add to her anxiety but do find it strange that she chose the middle of the night (his time) to call him (the first time) and he immediately picked up. Nevermind me though, I'm naturally suspicious of this type of stuff. Good luck OP, hope it all works out the way you hope! Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 So what? I often get up early and sleep irregularly. . Your post was one of the most idiotic I’ve seen in decades on the internet. That's too bad, have you tried yoga? Helps me a lot when I can't sleep. Link to comment
katrina1980 Posted December 29, 2018 Share Posted December 29, 2018 I tried yoga but I got thrown out of the yoga class. Solution: Home videos especially when you can't sleep. Link to comment
irka000 Posted December 30, 2018 Author Share Posted December 30, 2018 Thank you all. Yes , I won't deny...I was worried he had chance of heart about me....thought maybe he had time to think and prefer to be alone / single ....we are officially bf and gf as I mentioned earlier ... Before he travelled I was a bit all over him so I thought this may have put him off ... I know him for 2 years but we were dating earlier this year and than we had to have a break.... circumstances. Now ,since 1,5 months we continued our journey. He called me literally a few minutes after we finished the conversation. He said he felt he didn't say properly that was missing me. He did say he cannot adjust time wise ....he is not a big sleeper anyway....when I called it was 23.30 over there .... The conversation was very nice,....and I can say it gave me a dose of calmness for the rest of his holidays. He also sent me a few photos of him there. I honestly wanted to give him as much space as possible but at the same time it was weird after a regular, daily contact suddenly not to be in touch ....new situation to me but now I can handle it. I just hope he won't feel obliged or under pressure to contact me more often now .... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 I would just put this out of your head for now -meaning just exhale, relax. It's fine and going down a "what if" path is counterproductive. You'll see him when he gets back and has gotten over his jet lag, etc and you'll be light and breezy - positive -just tell him you hope he had a great time, it's great to see him, and move on from it. Link to comment
irka000 Posted December 30, 2018 Author Share Posted December 30, 2018 I will do precisely that Batya ...thank you so much ! Link to comment
Eliza50 Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 Dear all ,he called me a few minutes after our conversation ended and he said he felt he should tell me how much he misses me. We had a real chat ...it was lovely ....I didn't not expect him to call at all so this was sweet. He also said he bought me a gift. I won't contact him until his return. Great! I hope you can relax now :) Link to comment
DaisyMayPorter Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 I hope things go well! It’s nice to have distance from each other, especially at the beginning it’s nice to show the person you are seeing that you’re cool with having distance and not talking every day Link to comment
irka000 Posted December 30, 2018 Author Share Posted December 30, 2018 After my call to him yesterday I felt wierd ( in general he is always initiating the contact ...like 90 proc of time ). However when he called back a few minutes after our conversation, I felt much better. Still feeling good. I guess I received my dose of his attention....doesn't sound great , I know Today he sent me photo of him and wrote that he missed me. I was very happy. Tomorrow he will celebrate New year Eve sooner than me....he said he will probably celebrate at the hotel where there is a celebration prepared for all guests. Do I contact him at HIS midnight to wish him happy new year or should I leave him be ? I don't want him to think I check on him .... Link to comment
Batya33 Posted December 30, 2018 Share Posted December 30, 2018 I think it would be very sweet to contact him at his NYE time. Link to comment
figureitout23 Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 Do what you feel is best. Honestly, Im curious why you feel you need advice still. Not being snarky, things seem to be back on track, why arent you enjoying it? Link to comment
bluecastle Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 Kind of wondering the same thing as figureitout, also from a non-snarky perch. He's your bf, you're his gf. He called you, told you he missed you, sent you a photo to show he's thinking of you. If you're thinking about this when the clock strikes 12 in Thailand, let him know. Sweet gesture. Link to comment
mustlovedogs Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 Why don’t you initiate closer to 50-50? Link to comment
Annia Posted December 31, 2018 Share Posted December 31, 2018 Not trying to add to her anxiety but do find it strange that she chose the middle of the night (his time) to call him (the first time) and he immediately picked up. Nevermind me though, I'm naturally suspicious of this type of stuff. Good luck OP, hope it all works out the way you hope! I don't know but I usually can't sleep much/sleep light on a big trip. I wouldn't read much into it for now. Link to comment
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