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Random bouts of depression, no sex drive, and it's impacting my life.


LostSpartan
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For some time now, I've been hiding my depression. Trying to be strong for others, my friends, employees, etc. It almost feels pointless. It's like I get hit by these waves of unhappiness. It's random. I honestly don't know what to do about it. I've tried a few things. No change.

 

My desire for fun is sapped. I can't get back my strong desire to hit the gym. I'm not sucidal, but I honestly get how a person can start to feel that way over depression. I dont like how I feel. No I hate it.

 

So all that said, I have almost no desire to have sex. Nothing. It's just not there. Don't get me wrong. I still laugh, have fun, enjoy my hobbies, but the random wave of depression is often and leaves a lingering affect. So I find myself staring at walls, in random deep thought, but with no real desire for physical contact.

 

I've told my girlfriend this. Maybe she didn't absorb my words, maybe I didn't explain it well, not sure. But she seems upset that we don't do it. But here's the thing. We do have sex. On average two to three times a week. As a matter of fact, she wanted to yesterday and I pushed myself into doing it. She didn't realize it. But I did. Then later on last night, she wanted to do it again. Ugh. I dreaded the thought. I had no desire. Low and behold as time passed, we both became tired and I fell asleep early.

 

Only to find out today that she is mad, upset, bothered that we didn't do it a second time. A second time? I figured she'd be happy we did it once.

 

Ugh. I need help. Not sure what to do.

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For some time now, I've been hiding my depression. Trying to be strong for others, my friends, employees, etc. It almost feels pointless. It's like I get hit by these waves of unhappiness. It's random. I honestly don't know what to do about it. I've tried a few things. No change.

 

My desire for fun is sapped. I can't get back my strong desire to hit the gym. I'm not sucidal, but I honestly get how a person can start to feel that way over depression. I dont like how I feel. No I hate it.

 

So all that said, I have almost no desire to have sex. Nothing. It's just not there. Don't get me wrong. I still laugh, have fun, enjoy my hobbies, but the random wave of depression is often and leaves a lingering affect. So I find myself staring at walls, in random deep thought, but with no real desire for physical contact.

 

I've told my girlfriend this. Maybe she didn't absorb my words, maybe I didn't explain it well, not sure. But she seems upset that we don't do it. But here's the thing. We do have sex. On average two to three times a week. As a matter of fact, she wanted to yesterday and I pushed myself into doing it. She didn't realize it. But I did. Then later on last night, she wanted to do it again. Ugh. I dreaded the thought. I had no desire. Low and behold as time passed, we both became tired and I fell asleep early.

 

Only to find out today that she is mad, upset, bothered that we didn't do it a second time. A second time? I figured she'd be happy we did it once.

 

Ugh. I need help. Not sure what to do.

 

I can't really give you my tips to get out of depression, I can however get you mine to live throught it even when suicidal feelings come in the way.

 

I strongly believe that the secret to go through lies in two word : DISCPLINE and DUTY.

 

For instance, you say that you have no more desire or drive to go to the gym nevertheless you should go to by duty and discpline.

 

The best way to overcome the lack of drive and desire is habit, when your life is schedule like in monastery you will get throught no matter what, no matter the odds, no matter the sadness, it is like being in a small wheel like the hamster, if you are used to go throw the motion of making that wheel turn and turn and turn again so even if you lose the desire to make it turns, it will turn nevertheless thanks to the habits you build.

 

Never show people you are depressed, they will exploit this weakness against you.

 

Contrary to what people said, I do not suggest seeing a doctor like a psychiatrist, they are useless people and never see one cure someone. Depression is between you and yourself to solve, overcome or live with.

 

The only medical thing I would suggest is to do a blood check, cause hormonal imbalance can lead to depression and can be solved by taking supplements (vitamins and so on) or going TRT if you appear to have very low test and hormonal deficiencies.

 

As for the emotional roller coaster of joy, sadness and emptyness, don't you worry, if you did not experience depression on a regular basis yet, it is normal to get disturbed but you will get used to it at some point.

 

Best of luck, I will make a prayer for you at the holy mass tonight.

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