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Hurt by boyfriends actions


y0ungshel
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I have been dating my boyfriend for about 1 year, before that we had been together for 6 years, broken up for about 9 months in between, when he decided I was too busy to give him what he needed and found someone else on a dating website. I feel like he cheated because he went out with her before he broke up with me, he disagrees. In any case, I decided to give it another try.

Yesterday he responded to a comment a girl made on one of his Facebook posts with the following:

“Do you have a little Irish in ya? If not… ya know.”

 

He tells me he was just joking and I am being too sensitive, and that it doesn't mean anything. He said if I can’t handle him playing around on social media, we are going to have problems.

 

I feel disrespected and hurt, I feel like I will never be enough. I think this may be the last straw for me, and it may be time to end it.

 

Am I wrong to be hurt?

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Sorry to hear this. He is being disrespectful and hurtful. Seriously consider ending this and finding someone who won't keep cheating and making up excuses for it. He's right. The 'serious problem" is you're going to dump him.

I feel like he cheated because he went out with her before he broke up with me, he disagrees. In any case, I decided to give it another try.

Yesterday he responded to a comment a girl made on one of his Facebook posts with the following:

“Do you have a little Irish in ya? If not… ya know.” He tells me he was just joking and I am being too sensitive, and that it doesn't mean anything. He said if I can’t handle him playing around on social media, we are going to have problems.

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I agree. He was flirting with her and he may not have meant anything serious towards her, he is giving her the wrong idea and disrespecting you at the same time. His flirting, if taken the wrong way as being a come on then he will be sliding down a slippery slope towards either hurting this girl or hurting you. Why do it if it "didn't mean anything?" Is what you should be asking him.

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I think this guy "checked out" a long time ago, and you are hanging onto him with teeth and claws, hoping to God you can somehow get back to the past and what you used to be as a couple. He already strayed and cheated. He checked out from this relationship so long ago, he started hitting dating sites while you were still a couple (in his mind, the couple is over)...he's just a coward and an ***hole for not severing this relationship outright. He wants you to get so mad and hurt, YOU break up with him, and he doesn't have to be the bad guy. He's "monkey-branching" and hoping you just go away...except when he misses you and the familiarity. He'll definitely keep you on board and a contact in his "little black book" when these other prospects fail, and he'll continue to do this until he has thoroughly used you up.

 

Take the "hint," OP. He's done and just not that into you. You can't fight it, and please don't try to fight it. He wants to live the single life while keeping you on the hook. You need to end this. You need to walk away. It's a lot of time and history and love and memories to let go of, and possibly a first love, which is exceptionally painful, but the writing is on the wall, and it's telling you to let him go. Maybe 1 or 5 or 10 years down the road you can reconnect, or maybe you'll meet someone who is truly the best person for you and you'll wonder why you spent so much time clinging with fervor to this nimrod.

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I have been dating my boyfriend for about 1 year, before that we had been together for 6 years, broken up for about 9 months in between, when he decided I was too busy to give him what he needed and found someone else on a dating website. I feel like he cheated because he went out with her before he broke up with me, he disagrees. In any case, I decided to give it another try.

Yesterday he responded to a comment a girl made on one of his Facebook posts with the following:

“Do you have a little Irish in ya? If not… ya know.”

 

He tells me he was just joking and I am being too sensitive, and that it doesn't mean anything. He said if I can’t handle him playing around on social media, we are going to have problems.

 

I feel disrespected and hurt, I feel like I will never be enough. I think this may be the last straw for me, and it may be time to end it.

 

Am I wrong to be hurt?

 

He cheated on you, and he's cheating on you know. It's not a joke. Your call.

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you are not wrong to be hurt no.

To start dating somebody before breaking up with the person you are already with - i define that as cheating.

The flirting part - if it's just his personality that he does to everybody then I dont' see that as "wrong" (and definitely dont' see taht as somethign that will change within him). If he's only that way with people he's attracted to and t's how he woo's people for more - than that is a bit of disloyalty. Either way, it's reasonable to be "hurt" by it.

 

However, if it is "just who he is" then you would be in the wrong for demanding he change his personality for you. After all, his personality is what woo'd you to be with him. Instead, if it's just who he is the decision is really yours if you want to be with a man like that .... or not.

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