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Very Angry at Fiance for making plans with a woman colleague !!


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Yes we've had similar problems before like him helping different nurses do their college papers at work but never anything like this.

 

I told him today (texted him) another time this happens again (the inappropriate contact with his colleagues) or name calling towards me I'm gone. He getts it's real this time because he knows I am tired of it.

 

We were supposed to go out with my father today (the three of us for fun) but I cancelled it.

 

Thank you for your help everyone !

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He is setting up dates with other women and justifies this by insulting you implying you are a psycho. Sorry to hear this, but this is not looking good in terms of his lack of respect for you and your relationship. Take some time out and reflect if this is a problem with regard to deception and dealing with a ladies man. When did you get engaged? And why? "Fiance" may sound nice but he is not acting like a guy in a committed relationship.

she had wrote "let's meet for coffee before the dinner party and then we'll go to the dinner party together".

He said I am being unreasonably jealous and acting schizophrenic !! I am also angry about his namecalling towards me.

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He said there was going to be another man colleague meeting them for coffee before going to the dinnerparty it wasn't going to be just the two of them having coffee. But it still bothers me why he had to ask her what time the dinner party was and had to initiate a conversation with her in the first place (knowing she has a crush on him).

 

This whole thing started because before the dinner party he wasn't sure what time it would start so he had to.ask somebody.

He called one friend of his and he didn't pick up his phone, he asked another one he told him he wasn't sure. Then he wrote to this nurse that has a crush on him as ask her. That's when she answered and started initiating plan making with him.

 

I told him he should of never asked her and that there were many other male colleagues he could of asked about the time. He said she is more of a "friend" to him and that's why he felt more comfortable asking her. !!

Edited by Loralora
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He said there was going to be another man colleague meeting them for coffee before going to the dinnerparty it wasn't going to be just the two of them.

 

Now this sounds like you're defending him.

 

If it's just an innocent dinner with your husband, another man, and this nurse, why are you upset about it? I'll tell you why: because you know it's wrong. We know it's wrong. This other "man colleague"....does he exist? You're a doctor too; do you know this "man colleague"?

 

Your fiancé is pulling one over on you. You're a smart girl. You know this.

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Now this sounds like you're defending him.

 

If it's just an innocent dinner with your husband, another man, and this nurse, why are you upset about it? I'll tell you why: because you know it's wrong. We know it's wrong. This other "man colleague"....does he exist? You're a doctor too; do you know this "man colleague"?

 

Your fiancé is pulling one over on you. You're a smart girl. You know this.

 

Yes he exsits I know him. Though I never saw his name being mentioned by her because he deleted the previous messages. So I will never know.

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I texted him.today and told him we need to meet and talk.

 

He said he doesn't want to meet today and talk about something that never happend and that I accuse him without reason and have no understanding for him.

 

I said we need to decide what we are going to do are we taking a break are we ending it or what. He said he'll let me know tomorrow if he can meet up.

 

He makes it seem like I'm the wrong one who accuses him of inexistent things and that he is so upsed he doean't wven want to talk or see me !

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He's very good at playing games and gaslighting. Including this latest text exchange and calling you delusional, etc. Why don't you take control rather than begging him to meet up? He is not going to discuss this with you. He knows you are angry so he is avoiding you until you cool off, forget, forgive whatever.

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He's very good at playing games and gaslighting. Including this latest text exchange and calling you delusional, etc. Why don't you take control rather than begging him to meet up? He is not going to discuss this with you. He knows you are angry so he is avoiding you until you cool off, forget, forgive whatever.

 

I'm not begging him but you can't end a engagement through text messaging.

 

I want to hear what he has to say. I am willing to give him another chance if he promises me he will keep a profesional boundary and do something to change. Since he didn't actually go and have coffee witth her, I can't quite end it for this since he didn't iniciate the pre party coffee. And once I saw what went on he told her he will go straight to the dinner party not meet beforehand.

 

It if happens again yes I am gone. I told him that.

 

He told me today I don't appreciate the things he does for me, I throw everything away for no reason. He is tired of being misunderstood and acused without actual reason.

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I texted him.today and told him we need to meet and talk.

 

He said he doesn't want to meet today and talk about something that never happend and that I accuse him without reason and have no understanding for him.

 

I said we need to decide what we are going to do are we taking a break are we ending it or what. He said he'll let me know tomorrow if he can meet up.

 

He makes it seem like I'm the wrong one who accuses him of inexistent things and that he is so upsed he doean't wven want to talk or see me !

 

He is trying to take control and snowball you . I would tell him that’s fine he doesn’t want to meet . I will make the decision for him .

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He is trying to take control and snowball you . I would tell him that’s fine he doesn’t want to meet . I will make the decision for him .

 

I told him it's fine if he doesn't want to meet. I can't force him. First he said I don't want to meet for some time. Then he said he'll let me know about tomorrow or whenever.

 

Though if he takes too long to call me up to meet, I'm just going to start to consider myself single. I will tell him this tomorrow if he doesn't call to meet up tomorrow.

 

He can't have this much power, do wrong and then not meet. I'm not sure he is aware that he is playing with fire.

 

The reason he is hesitant to meet is because this happend on friday. Then on saturday morning he called me up to meet thinking everything would smooth over, that meeting went very very badly (that was yesterday). So we already met once after the incident and it was bad. Because I still didn't have everything clear. Now I want to meet to talk about what next.

Edited by Loralora
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I texted him.today and told him we need to meet and talk.

 

He said he doesn't want to meet today and talk about something that never happend and that I accuse him without reason and have no understanding for him.

 

I said we need to decide what we are going to do are we taking a break are we ending it or what. He said he'll let me know tomorrow if he can meet up.

 

He makes it seem like I'm the wrong one who accuses him of inexistent things and that he is so upsed he doean't wven want to talk or see me !

 

Good God! Have some self respect and end this!

 

He doesn't want to meet up about the possible end to your relationship.. Wow! He does not care and he does not believe you!

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I'm not begging him but you can't end a engagement through text messaging.

 

I want to hear what he has to say. I am willing to give him another chance if he promises me he will keep a profesional boundary and do something to change. Since he didn't actually go and have coffee witth her, I can't quite end it for this since he didn't iniciate the pre party coffee. And once I saw what went on he told her he will go straight to the dinner party not meet beforehand.

 

It if happens again yes I am gone. I told him that.

 

He told me today I don't appreciate the things he does for me, I throw everything away for no reason. He is tired of being misunderstood and acused without actual reason.

He has promised many times before! Stop being so foolish!

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Good God! Have some self respect and end this!

 

It isn't that easy. I already changed my profile picture of him and me together that I had in whasapp and viber. He still has profile pictures with a photo of us together in both messengers.

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Lora,

 

He has done this multiple times. It will not change. Either you accept this - which I would not- or you end the relationship.

 

How many times does he have to show YOU that it will not change? Also, calling you "delusional" and a psycho, clearly shows that he does not respect YOU and sees nothing wrong with his behavior.

Edited by Hollyj
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Lora,

 

He has done this multiple times. It will not change. Either you accept this - which I would not- or you end the relationship.

 

How many times does he have to show YOU that it will not change? Also, calling you "delusional" and a psycho clearly shows that he will not change and does not respect YOU.

 

Nothing as big as this has happened in our relationship yet.

 

We had some ups and downs do to his female colleagues but nothing as big as this. So that's why I'm hopping it won't happen again.

 

As for the psycho part he has to apologise and never repeat it again cause if he does it will be over (if we get through it this time). This is the first time he has been this mean to me and called me a psycho !

 

Its not easy breaking up an engagement before knowing you'we done everything to make it work...because in the future it will always bother you.

 

We night not make it through this time around.

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Nothing as big as this has happened in our relationship yet.

 

We had some ups and downs do to his female colleagues but nothing as big as this. So that's why I'm hopping it won't happen again.

 

As for the psycho part he has to apologise and never repeat it again cause if he does it will be over (if we get through it this time). This is the first time he has been this mean to me and called me a psycho !

 

Its not easy breaking up an engagement before knowing you'we done everything to make it work...because in the future it will always bother you.

 

This is the first, of many. This is how it starts.

 

We all know it's hard, and I don't envy the position you're in.

 

I promise you, this gets worse, not better. As hard as it is now to break away from him, it will be 10 times harder later on.

 

The first time someone calls you a psycho should be the last.

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The most devious bit to me, was the deleting of the texts, lying and refusing to show you his phone. He has already shown you what you can expect in your marriage: deception, secrets and lies.

 

The name calling was horrible.

 

Do you not think you can get a better man? Is this why you give him so many chances?

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This is the first, of many. This is how it starts.

 

We all know it's hard, and I don't envy the position you're in.

 

I promise you, this gets worse, not better. As hard as it is now to break away from him, it will be 10 times harder later on.

 

The first time someone calls you a psycho should be the last.

 

The "psycho" comment would have done it for me. It shows a complete lack of respect and someone who deflects the blame.

 

OP, you seem so desperate to keep this guy, even though you have some much info before you. Why is your self worth so low?

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Nothing as big as this has happened in our relationship yet.

 

We had some ups and downs do to his female colleagues but nothing as big as this. So that's why I'm hopping it won't happen again.

 

As for the psycho part he has to apologise and never repeat it again cause if he does it will be over (if we get through it this time). This is the first time he has been this mean to me and called me a psycho !

 

Its not easy breaking up an engagement before knowing you'we done everything to make it work...because in the future it will always bother you.

 

We night not make it through this time around.

I was prepared to break up a marriage and we already had a three-year-old for crap like that . The minute you start putting up with any shenanigans they think you will always do that . I get the feeling he thinks he’s a high and mighty God like Dr. and he can do anything he likes .

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I was prepared to break up a marriage and we already had a three-year-old for crap like that . The minute you start putting up with any shenanigans they think you will always do that . I get the feeling he thinks he’s a high and mighty God like Dr. and he can do anything he likes .

 

She is also a doctor, that is another reason I can't understand why she allows this.

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I can get a better man. But I'm hopping he will get better.

 

I have self respect. And I am more attractive than he is everybody around us has said that; the thing is that our whole familys are now tied friends everything.

 

It isn't as bad as cheating that's why I'm willing to give it one last try.

 

In our culture breaking up an engagement is a VERY BIG deal. You are all very lucky you live in a different culture.

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