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Honestly, dump him and pay your own bills or keep him around and reap the benefits. Many here will treat you as a a child completely unaware of what's going on, but anyone willing to treat you with a modicum of respect knows what's going on.

 

You're not going to find a self respecting guy who's dated you an entire month and who's ok paying for your kid's books and paying down your credit card but for having his own baggage.

 

Cut your gains and keep him around, or date properly for a guy who's not going to assume responsibility for your debts and responsibilities.

 

 

But isn't a man's job is to be a provider and a protector. I am a self sufficient adult, I am fiercely independent and so I HAVE NEVER had someone come in and go dollar for dollar week for week and still keep the same intensity as he did from Day one. Why is it not OK for him to assume responsibility for me???? Remember he was a HUSBAND for over 10years so rightfully so this is the role he will always assume....seems he is a long term commitment type man and I am thankful for this.

How is he not self respecting---? Most females take care of the man, his children, carry his baggage and put up with his nonsense and cheating just to have someone in their life. Women even accept their mates sleeping with the same sex to save the relationship.....so really what aspect are you trying to justify b/c at this point you telling me to roll on this guy and use him up when clearly he's trying to show me Im worth it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tell me one adult in this world who doesn't come with baggage. Some internal some external---its human nature.

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So the guy is still married, he lied about his relationship status, in the 6 weeks you've been together you have had to be the one who makes him visit his kids.

I'm wondering how leaving him isn't the conclusion you've come to already?? It's only been 6 weeks, you'd get over it pretty quickly.

 

 

#1. Yes he lied and said he was divorced when in fact they are only separated. Right.

#2. I can not MAKE him do a thing.....obviously he WANTED to do it...I suggested and continued to do so. One day I mentioned it the same day he did it. If he didn't wanna he wouldn't have

#3. Sure 6 weeks isn't long at all....but 7 years of trial and error 7 years holding out ....uh yea 6 weeks feels like a lifetime !!! :) AMAZING !

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It’s too early to be buying clothes for his kids. I’m sure that he was buying them and you were just with him but buying clothes just like him staying over is domestic and you shouldn’t be domestic quite yet. You should be dating, you should be going on fun dates, things should be exciting. It just feels like you skipped about nine steps.

 

Where is it defined the DO's and DONT's of a relationship?? Please cause Im sure I missed the memo and I damn sure skipped past instructions. LOL!! Yes He bought his son, his daughter and my daughter winter coats. Got his daughter the same coat as my daughter. Yes he was buying clothes and yes I was with him as I am most times...I have bought him polo knits, socks, even lotion!!!

 

WE are dating, We go out 3xs a week...one weeknight and the weekends usually. We seldom watch TV in bed cause we are busy talking, laughing and joking. We took our labwork last weekend so we can start screwing unprotected too!!!!!!!!! LOL YES it's ultra EXCITING !

What steps have we skipped......my parents are dead so that's out....he's invited me to his Mom's for thanksgiving....so maybe there are no steps..like Nike maybe we gonna Just DO IT!!!!!!!!!

 

Thanks

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Not sure what country you're from, but if the wife wants to get mean, she can.

 

This is still legally her husband. If she finds out about you at all, it will change the game.

 

She will take him to the cleaners financially and really make his life h3ll on being able to see his children. That will cause massive stress for him and things won't be so rosy as they are right now.

It doesn't sound like she wants to lose her husband but it is only a matter of time till she finds out about you or decides to turn the heat up.

 

I also would seriously question him telling you its her who doesn't want a divorce. He could be telling you this as a way to get you to stop asking but in reality, it might be both of them who aren't willing to end things for good.

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LOL!!!

Yesterday I was soliciting the advice of strangers with thwarted viewpoints.

Last night I spoke with him in depth about all the feelings and emotions I have been experiencing both good and bad. Clearly we both had not discussed in detail these things and Im thankful I was able to speak with a clear frame of mind.

It's not about defending anything/anyone it's about the way I feel and my hopes and plans for the future.

Mental Illness-------> Please do DX me Im curious to know your opinion??

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I am from the U S A and I am a Black female. The fact of the matter is that they got married very young---(22).

 

Legally Yes this is still her husband, hence the reason for my post. However he is now asking me to post us on social media in an attempt to let her Find Out! maybe as bait or maybe as to really let her know he is ready to move on either way I refused to do such.

 

Right now from what I know she gets no financial support from him....he takes responsibility for his children. Lets be honest-----truly if he wanted to be there he would be there! Because "technically" he is still her husband!

He said the last time he tried to comeback she put him out and told the other guy to come in....this is when they split and he's never went back

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That would make you look great, wouldn't it? Shacking up with a married man.

One who wanted his wife back but she put him out--------- not his choice.

 

 

LOL! shacking up with a married man! One who tried to keep his family together...a GOOD One at that.. she dropped the ball I picked it up and now it's in my court, in my life and Yup in my Bed..!

Lets be honest if I were the only woman----would she give a damn about ME///??? answer is HELL NO...so instead of worrying about what can, will or may happen I choose to decide to concentrate on the here and the now. If she comes back and he leaves again---then it's his loss and her gain. It is what it is......

 

 

 

 

 

(Some things are just plain black and white. Never be afraid to start over and never settle for less than you deserve. #startinganewchapter#he’sawinner)******pictured with another male :)

 

-------This was her post....Im calling both their bluff....trust me I will surely keep you all updated!

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Ok. The ex. The one who is legally married to him. The mother of his children. The one he built a life with.

The one he wanted back but she refused him. The one who will always have his name because she does not need to change it even if they divorce. The one who put him out for philandering. The one who won't sign papers. She's not going anywhere.

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LOL! shacking up with a married man! One who tried to keep his family together...a GOOD One at that.. she dropped the ball I picked it up and now it's in my court, in my life and Yup in my Bed..!

Lets be honest if I were the only woman----would she give a damn about ME///??? answer is HELL NO...so instead of worrying about what can, will or may happen I choose to decide to concentrate on the here and the now. If she comes back and he leaves again---then it's his loss and her gain. It is what it is......

 

 

 

 

 

(Some things are just plain black and white. Never be afraid to start over and never settle for less than you deserve. #startinganewchapter#he’sawinner)******pictured with another male :)

 

-------This was her post....Im calling both their bluff....trust me I will surely keep you all updated!

 

 

(Some things are just plain black and white. Never be afraid to start over and never settle for less than you deserve. #startinganewchapter#he’sawinner)

 

I'd not be bragging about being with a married man who is a cheat. Hell if I were her I wouldn't take him back either.

Saying her new man is a winner means her still husband, your man, is a loser. You know why? Because he burned her.

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Ok. The ex. The one who is legally married to him. The mother of his children. The one he built a life with.

The one he wanted back but she refused him. The one who will always have his name because she does not need to change it even if they divorce. The one who put him out for philandering. The one who won't sign papers. She's not going anywhere.

 

We gonna see!

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Tables Turn....Bridges Burn....You Live and You Learn...

So IF he is so much of a Loser why wont you RUN to divorce court....seeing that you are Done? and moved on??

Make this make sense to me!

 

 

Why should she? I'd bet she lives in the house all comfy he pays for.

 

Why isn't he filing?? Because he doesn't want to. She's not signing papers because there's none to sign.

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SweetGirl28---Im not bragging Im being 100% honest about the situation.

How is he a loser when she just started a REAL JOB in 2015??? Mind you they were 15 years in....how the hell did she survive and how did they manage to take care of the kids?

Same person that stole money from him---and please believe all of such has been confirmed by his Aunt, Best Friend and Sister....Technically I am a stranger and they all were filled with relief that someone else has FINALLY captured his attention.

So all of what you saying is based off biased opinion. Youre being 1000% negative without knowing the detail. Yes My post was solely about the EX. Being that was his 1st love he was a young adult and now he's a man 39 years old---a benevolent nature and a true gentleman,

He has never mad excuses for the mistakes he has made in his past....He has owned up to them...

SO he is grown up now and all the running and playing around he says he's had enough. It's not my fault that she couldn't endure long enough to reap the benefits of what was to come. If he doesn't care and if he is telling me it's with me he wants to be....

 

So really what do you suggest? I ask what's the real deal? HOW am I gonna know?? REALLY JUST HOW do you suggest I find out whose dragging A** on signing the paperS?

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The issue is this appears to be a game. Like he's a prize to win. You're all ticked off AF at her, for what? Because you want him legally divorced so that you can marry him. That might be a long wait. Long as in, may never happen. I'd not waste my life on that. But it's not mine. It's yours.

 

Do you know there's single men out there? Good men who can commit?

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