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Why do I think about her


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I liked a co-worker and we seen each other outside of work for around 8 months. She never let it get serious. I've liked(find attractive, think about) her for the past 4 years. When she wouldn't let it get serious I moved on. I seen a girl for 3 months. After that ended, I've been with my girlfriend for 10 months now.

 

I'm happy. She's awesome. I love her. She does have some flaws like being insecure but I've never doubted her or how I feel about her

 

The problem is for some reason I still think about that co-worker. Not every day. Not in a romantic way. She just crosses my mind. And about a month ago she switched shifts so I no longer work with her. I thought that would help and it would go away but it hasn't. She still doesn't want to be with me and I don't think about "I wish I could be with her or I want to be with her"

 

Why do I still think about her? I don't think I loved her. I love my girlfriend.

Even if I wanted to be with her she doesn't want to be with me. And my brain knows this so I have no reason to think about her at all

 

I don't understand why. I don't know what I'm supposed to do

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I liked a co-worker and we seen each other outside of work for around 8 months. She never let it get serious. I've liked(find attractive, think about) her for the past 4 years. When she wouldn't let it get serious I moved on. I seen a girl for 3 months. After that ended, I've been with my girlfriend for 10 months now.

 

I'm happy. She's awesome. I love her. She does have some flaws like being insecure but I've never doubted her or how I feel about her

 

The problem is for some reason I still think about that co-worker. Not every day. Not in a romantic way. She just crosses my mind. And about a month ago she switched shifts so I no longer work with her. I thought that would help and it would go away but it hasn't. She still doesn't want to be with me and I don't think about "I wish I could be with her or I want to be with her"

 

Why do I still think about her? I don't think I loved her. I love my girlfriend.

Even if I wanted to be with her she doesn't want to be with me. And my brain knows this so I have no reason to think about her at all

 

I don't understand why. I don't know what I'm supposed to do

 

Your girlfriend has a name. Write on a small piece of paper; Be faithful to (write name).

 

If this is a way, for you, to be faithful, it's worth it, for life. A good reminder of what's really important in life.

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Sounds like you had a crush.

 

Definitely. So I shouldn't be worried? It's been years but it will eventually go away?

 

Your girlfriend has a name. Write on a small piece of paper; Be faithful to (write name).

 

If this is a way, for you, to be faithful, it's worth it, for life. A good reminder of what's really important in life.

 

I don't have a problem being faithful. I just feel a little guilty/stupid for thinking about another woman. Especially when I'm very happy

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Sounds like grass is greener syndrome. As a woman, I notice the men I am not interested in want me even more. It sounds like the fact she wasn't into you romantically probably seemed like a challenge to you and yes you had a crush. It sounds like you were and still are interested in her romantically because you said "Even if I wanted to be with her she does't want to be with me." So I think deep down you'd love a shot with her. You are just in denial about that.

 

Trust me, if the relationship you're in is great, then treasure that and focus on that. When you think of the coworker, think of something else. Because the grass isn't always greener.

 

I liked a co-worker and we seen each other outside of work for around 8 months. She never let it get serious. I've liked(find attractive, think about) her for the past 4 years. When she wouldn't let it get serious I moved on. I seen a girl for 3 months. After that ended, I've been with my girlfriend for 10 months now.

 

I'm happy. She's awesome. I love her. She does have some flaws like being insecure but I've never doubted her or how I feel about her

 

The problem is for some reason I still think about that co-worker. Not every day. Not in a romantic way. She just crosses my mind. And about a month ago she switched shifts so I no longer work with her. I thought that would help and it would go away but it hasn't. She still doesn't want to be with me and I don't think about "I wish I could be with her or I want to be with her"

 

Why do I still think about her? I don't think I loved her. I love my girlfriend.

Even if I wanted to be with her she doesn't want to be with me. And my brain knows this so I have no reason to think about her at all

 

I don't understand why. I don't know what I'm supposed to do

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Sounds like grass is greener syndrome. As a woman, I notice the men I am not interested in want me even more. It sounds like the fact she wasn't into you romantically probably seemed like a challenge to you and yes you had a crush. It sounds like you were and still are interested in her romantically because you said "Even if I wanted to be with her she does't want to be with me." So I think deep down you'd love a shot with her. You are just in denial about that.

 

Trust me, if the relationship you're in is great, then treasure that and focus on that. When you think of the coworker, think of something else. Because the grass isn't always greener.

 

You might be right but I don't think it's greener syndrome. The coworker isn't as nice and as easy to get along with as my girlfriend. Doesn't look as good at my girlfriend. She's not as loving/romantic and she's 13 years older. And i definitely don't care about challenges. I don't like chasing I feel it should be pretty mutual

 

But I too have thought it might just be the fact i feel she never gave it a real attempt and I think maybe I wonder what it would have been like

 

I just want it to go away and stop and idk how. It's been years ☹️

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You might be right but I don't think it's greener syndrome. The coworker isn't as nice and as easy to get along with as my girlfriend. Doesn't look as good at my girlfriend. She's not as loving/romantic and she's 13 years older. And i definitely don't care about challenges. I don't like chasing I feel it should be pretty mutual

 

But I too have thought it might just be the fact i feel she never gave it a real attempt and I think maybe I wonder what it would have been like

 

I just want it to go away and stop and idk how. It's been years ☹️

 

OK, good. Just keep telling yourself that every time these silly thoughts pop into your head. Answer your ponderings with the answer you know to be true: it would have been . End of. Make it your mantra until the questions eventually end, which they will.

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