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I'm a bit late to this, but after several seasons, I just started getting into this documentary-type show, 90-Day Fiancé and am trying to understand its premise, hopefully someone can shed some light?

 

So these couples met on line, live thousands of miles away from each other (one in America), they're from two entirely different cultures, they've been having a LDR on line but have never met in person.

 

Right so far?

 

So they apply to be on this show and the show arranges for one (or both?) to get a 90 day visa to visit the other's country, where they will meet for the first time.

 

After that 90 days if they don't get engaged, the visa will expire and the one visiting has to go home and they may never see each other again.

 

Do I have this right?

 

Coming in late, so am a bit lost, but it sounds interesting! I've been trying to find out more about it on line but it just discusses the couples.

 

There is this one couple, she's 52, from America, he is 30 from Nigeria. What a mess that one is! Clearly, he's just using her to get into America, that one is pretty obvious.

 

Another couple, she is from America, he is from England, they just met for the first time when she visited England, and they got engaged (after meeting once).

 

That seems pretty nuts, in and of itself, but there are other problems cause he has a criminal record, which will make the process of him living in America very difficult, and could take years.

 

So it will be interesting to see what happens with them. They seem legit in love though.

 

Is anyone into this? It would be fun to discuss if anyone is! Especially with all the long distance on line relationships happening today!

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I love this show!

 

Yeah the woman who is 52 and the 30 year old, is the weirdest! You can tell he is using her to get into America because he puts up with her screaming at him constantly. Plus he admits in the last episode that he hopes it works with her so he can get into America LOL. The one with the guy in Brazil and his young now wife is very weird as well, the guy shouldn't have gone into that relationship with so many trust issues. He constantly has her taking pregnancy tests and std tests. I think the couple in England is cute except they don't seem suited, he is a player or was a player and she wants a strong committed relationship. I really hope he does love her and doesn't cheat.

 

Lisa

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Cool limichelle, we can talk about it!

 

So there is another couple, he is from the Netherlands, she is from New York. Like I said, coming in late but it sounds like they had a LDR on line but after they met in person in New York, he's just not into it?

 

They did not get engaged after 90 days (he did not want it) and he flew home. While home, he decided to end it, so out of respect for her (or so he says), he booked a ticket to New York to tell her.

 

Meanwhile, she is all excited for his visit, even went to the dentist to replace her veneers!

 

Can't wait to find out what happens with them!!

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You don’t quite have it right: they HAVE to have met in person at least once in the last two years to get the visa, and once the foreigner travels to the US, the couple has 90 days to get married (and file for permanent residency) or they no longer have legal status in the US.

 

The visa is the K1 visa if you want to read up on it a bit more. When an American files for a K1 visa for his/her fiancé, they have to submit proof of a relationship, proof of having met in person in the last two years, and a statement that they intend to get married within 90 days of the foreigner’s arrival in the US if approved. The foreigner goes through the usual medical, background check, interview etc ... I know quite a bit about the visa class because my husband came to the US on one :).

 

I watched one season of the show and most of the couples were an absolute train wreck. A fun watch though! There are often some very significant power differentials in these relationships and lots of people using each other, tons of fraud especially involving older American women and young foreign men.

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Cool limichelle, we can talk about it!

 

So there is another couple, he is from the Netherlands, she is from New York. Like I said, coming in late but it sounds like they had a LDR on line but after they met in person in New York, he's just not into it?

 

They did not get engaged after 90 days (he did not want it) and he flew home. While home, he decided to end it, so out of respect for her (or so he says), he booked a ticket to New York to tell her.

 

Meanwhile, she is all excited for his visit, even went to the dentist to replace her veneers!

 

Can't wait to find out what happens with them!!

 

Oh my gosh that couple is intense. They fight constantly. It’s sad because the last episode she was so in love not wanting to leave the airport. Now he’s going to break up with her.

 

Then there is the couple in Columbia. He originally flew there to meet a different girl that flaked in him. It’s odd how when the other girl he contacted came thinking he came for her that he was going to now propose to her. These couples move fast!

 

Now she’s mad at him knowing she was the back up plan.

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You don’t quite have it right: they HAVE to have met in person at least once in the last two years to get the visa, and once the foreigner travels to the US, the couple has 90 days to get married (and file for permanent residency) or they no longer have legal status in the US.

 

The visa is the K1 visa if you want to read up on it a bit more. When an American files for a K1 visa for his/her fiancé, they have to submit proof of a relationship, proof of having met in person in the last two years, and a statement that they intend to get married within 90 days of the foreigner’s arrival in the US if approved. The foreigner goes through the usual medical, background check, interview etc ... I know quite a bit about the visa class because my husband came to the US on one :).

 

I watched one season of the show and most of the couples were an absolute train wreck. A fun watch though! There are often some very significant power differentials in these relationships and lots of people using each other, tons of fraud especially involving older American women and young foreign men.

 

Thanks sophie! I had a feeling I didn't have it quite right. I just watched one episode, last night.

 

I can see how this show could become addictive (for some), like a train wreck you can't stop looking at (sick I know).

 

Is it all real do you think? I have my suspicions.

 

About the scamming, yeah the 52 year old woman (fm America) and 30 year old from Nigereia, gawd it's so obvious he is scamming her to get into the U.S., wake up lady!

 

The American girl and English guy, yeah limi he was a player and into open relationships, but they just got engaged (she said in last night's episode they only met once -- crazy!) and they are now planning their wedding not even knowing if they will be able to live together (in America)!

 

He has a criminal record making that process difficult, although what confuses me is that she could always move to England and live with him there, which would require a bit less red tape. But that's too simple I guess, less drama! Lol But then again she has two kids so that may not be realistic.

 

Knowing me I will probably get bored with it eventually, but right now I am intrigued!

Edited by katrina1980
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Oh and yeah limi I agree about the Columbian couple (he from Ohio, she from Columbia).

 

What a scammer! Talking to two different girls (both fm Columbia) but leading Ximena to believe she was the only one. She was angry at first after he told her, but forgave him in last night's episode.

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Wiseman! 😂

 

Katrina

It’s also not good Karine is pregnant. Since she and Paul aren’t getting along. I find Paul really weird. I feel bad for him but at the same time he got married to someone who doesn’t speak English and they have to translate everything.

 

I’m curious to see how the drama unfolds next weekend with Darcy and Jesse. I think it’s actually crueler he flew to New York too break up with her. It’s getting her hopes up. I think she thinks he’s going to propose. Also I wonder what he found out about her back in his Country he was talking about in the cab.

 

The show makes me wonder if it is real.

 

Then Hazel in Thailand in next weeks preview revealed her intentions saying she is going to go after a Japanese guy because he may be rich.

 

These people are really naive to want too get married hardly knowing the foreign significant others that are most likely scamming them to get into America.

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I've been watching since the first season! I'm so hooked! And so is my 83-year old mother!

 

In fact, here's how zombie-like it makes me: I post on a message board about it. No, I don't just post, I read hundreds of posts about each week's show. Yep, I'm addicted!

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I've been watching since the first season! I'm so hooked! And so is my 83-year old mother!

 

In fact, here's how zombie-like it makes me: I post on a message board about it. No, I don't just post, I read hundreds of posts about each week's show. Yep, I'm addicted!

 

Haha I'd love to hear the quips exchanged between you and your mom.

 

I've caught a few clips of it on YouTube. Reminds me of Maury - back in the day when it wasn't all ' you ARE the father!".

Not exactly the same obviously, but junk food for the brain when you feel like shutting off and going "oh my god!".

Lol.

 

There was one couple where he was an older divorced guy and she very very young from Thailand. Maybe it's not a true case but just knowing there are guys like that out there .. shudderr.

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There was one couple where he was an older divorced guy and she very very young from Thailand. Maybe it's not a true case but just knowing there are guys like that out there .. shudderr.

 

David & Annie.....ugh. They personify much of this show:

--Older man finds younger girl in foreign country (in their case, he's 49, she's 25)

--Older man presents himself as "Rich American", and younger girl is from such a poor background that she sees this as her way out (Annie was literally living in a grass hut with a mud floor).

--OM brings YG to America for K-1 Visa, but as it turns out, he has no money. Debt, actually.

--YG is now stuck in America, living in a storage facility with her old, lumpy, overweight, broke American.

 

Yes, it's a train wreck. And I'm here for every minute of it.

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I've been watching since the first season! I'm so hooked! And so is my 83-year old mother!

 

In fact, here's how zombie-like it makes me: I post on a message board about it. No, I don't just post, I read hundreds of posts about each week's show. Yep, I'm addicted!

 

I had a feeling you would be hooked LHG, and hoped you would chime in! And agree it IS like a train wreck, the worst train wreck we've ever witnessed and we can't stop looking at it!

 

I have only seen one episode (last night's), I am going to have to download the others and spend a day in bed watching all of them!

 

Like our lives are so perfect, right? We're all sick, lol!

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Katrina, watch out....very addicting, lol.

 

There have been some legitimate couples. Couples who met when one person traveled to another country for work or vacation, met someone, fell truly in love, and went through the process. There's one couple they flash back to occasionally, who now has a baby. Their follow-up shows are quite boring, actually, in a good way, because it's just them going through life.

 

In many cases, it's the following:

 

-American gets fed up with U.S. dating scene. Finds all the pitfalls that we all know to be out there, so they log onto foreign sites. Columbian Cupid, e.g.

-American starts conversation with foreigner, who is usually from a country, or a family, with so high a poverty level we cannot imagine.

-Foreigner starts chatting up American, seeing dollar signs.

-American starts sending money over, as foreigner reels them in with words of love, and stories of woe.

-American flies overseas to meet their "soulmate", who simply wants a way out of their bad situation.

 

Angela (the spoon-cake-eating, rather unsightly blond woman in the horrid open-back tank tops) fits this story to a tee, as does her "soulmate", Michael. Michael, however, has been chatting up hundreds, possibly thousands, of women on social media, just angling for one of them to get him out of Nigeria. He's an enormous America lover and even has a shrine to Donald Trump, as he loves capitalism, so he views Angela as his ticket out.

 

Rachel, the one who took her baby to England to meet "the love of her life", met him on a karaoke app. They "sang together", and she was in love. Never mind that the reason he can't come to the U.S. like, at all, is because he has over 60 assault convictions in the U.K., one of which caused permanent eye injury. He's a garbage sorter who goes out to the pubs, drinks too much, and has had hundreds of women, many in open relationships. Such a prize.

 

Darcy & Jesse - the woman from Connecticut and her Dutch fiancé....complete train wreck. He's a gaslighting, controlling maniac, and she's an extremely insecure, blubbering lonely female. They can fight about whether a napkin should be placed horizontally or vertically. Watch next week....as he flies to NY just to humiliate her in person, while he attempts to look like a "good guy". Oh, and he's only a few years older than her daughters.

 

I could talk about this all night, lol.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Oh good lord, just discovered another crazy realty show "Married At First Sight." :eek:

 

Couples agree to enter into a marriage with a complete and total stranger, never meeting or even talking until their wedding day!! The show chronicles their relationship/marriage going forward.

 

Goodness gracious, people must want to appear on TV *really* badly to agree to do this.

 

LHG do you watch this one? Apparently, it's been on for four years, where the hell have I been?!

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OMG, yes, I love MAFS. I've been watching that one too, since the beginning! Two of the couples from the first season are still together.....one has a baby!

 

I don't think it's about people wanting to appear on t.v. as much as people who just really haven't been able to find The One. The "experts" put them through a lot of testing, interviews, etc., to weed out those who just want to be on t.v.

 

Yes, there are t.v. hogs, but there have been some sincere people who just haven't found people through their normal avenues.

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Here's a pic of both couples from Season 1, which was 2014, and they are both still married.

 

Courtney & Jason: They were both from NY, and Jason's lifelong dream was to become a New York Firefighter, which he achieved. Courtney was originally from North Carolina, and she was dying to move back there, so she & Jason have, since the show, moved back to NC, where he is a firefighter.

 

Jamie & Doug: She was not attracted to him at all, at the altar. They went on their honeymoon, and he was very patient, but he showed who he really was, via his amazing personality. Once back home, she got to know his family, who is all super close and sweet. Jamie actually grew up moving from trailer park to trailer park with a drug-addicted mother and whatever man her mother brought home that week. Jamie ended up raising her siblings. and became a nurse. Very sad. Jamie ended up falling crazy in love with Doug, and she had a baby. She now hosts a 30-minute show, which comes on prior to the MAFS episode, where she interviews the couples on the current season.

 

https://www.realityblurred.com/realitytv/2014/09/married-first-sight-first-year-spin-off/

 

LOL yes, I need a life. :p

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Ok, mind opening a bit, thanks LG!

 

A rather unconventional way of finding "the one" but whatever works!

 

It's an interesting concept; with traditional dating, when doubts and uncertainties crop up, people tend to run instead of working through issues.

 

Since these couples are already married, they are sort of forced to stay and work it out, which could (and apparently is) a good thing !

 

With Jaime and Doug for example, had they met on line and had a first "meet," being she was not attracted initially, doubtful there would have been a second date.

 

But as it turns out, he was (is) "the one" -- the love of her life!

 

Fascinating!

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There are some couples who are just disasters, but that's not because of the process. They are simply disasters in and of themselves.

 

In this current season, Amber (the overly bleached blonde) is one of the most insecure women I've ever seen. We'd give her such a lashing if she was posting here on ENA. Her husband can't say anything right, because whatever he says, she uses it as a "reason" that he's not attracted to her. Poor guy mentioned once that he's always been attracted to brunettes (when she asked, and what she naturally is), and she spent an entire episode all pouty-faced because that means he's not attracted to her. Even though he tells her all the time how beautiful she is. Stuff like that. So that couple, I don't know.

 

Most of them have just been through all the online dating sites, the apps, the setups, the parties, and they just haven't met the one. But they want to get married and have a family, so they go through this process.

 

Trouble is, as we see here on ENA all the time, if you don't work on yourself first, fix your own demons, etc., you'll not be good for anyone.

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I love Doug and Jamie and Jason and Courtney!

 

I feel like they were perfectly suited.

 

I haven’t seen the other seasons. The first one was the best. I felt bad for both Mone and Vaughn they just were mismatched In so many ways.

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There's going to be another "where are they now" show on Oct. 30th on Lifetime.

 

Two other couples have babies! One is from last season, Shawntee and Jephte, and a couple from a few seasons ago whose names I can't remember, but they seemed like a really cute couple (a blond girl and a brown-haired guy from Chicago).

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I can actually see the appeal LH.

 

For me though, it's the ongoing saga, my anxiety skyrockets waiting to see what happens in the next episode! If that makes sense.

 

I would have to wait for the entire season to end and then watch them all in one sitting which could take all day and don't have time for that anymore.

 

So now as an escape I watch Lifetime movies! Lol. 90 minutes.

 

Recently I watched "Conrad and Michelle" true story about a girlfriend encouraging her boyfriend to commit suicide through text messaging! She was convicted of involuntary manslaughter even though she was an hour away when he killed himself.

 

Through her text messages, she drove him to do it according to the prosecution.

 

I also watched "The Bad Seed" with Rob Lowe as a dad whose 9 year old daughter is a murdering psychopath!

 

That had me on edge but extremely compelling!!

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The original of “The Bad Seed” is the best! It’s creepier. It’s in black and white and done In the 50’s.

 

I have seen the original too, on TCM. It's a classic! And yeah agree murdering daughter was creepy but I found McKenna Grace's performance in this version even creepier and frighteningly disturbing. The nanny's too. Ditto for Lowe.

 

Did you see "Conrad and Michelle" about the text messaging case?

 

That was disturbing as well, and it's a true story! I love real life dramas like that.

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