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She seized all contact after the second date


Derek112
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Hi Everyone!

I need a bit of advice here. I went on a date with a girl I met on a dating app again. The first date was just perfect, we went for a coffee and then to the cinema, this was on Saturday. After the first date we texted each other and she agreed to meet again with a lot of enthusiasm. I invited her to a museum or a walk in the historic city center on Monday evening after work. Eventually we ended up going for the walk because she had to work longer and the museum would be already closed. So we had the walk and then went to a very romantic restaurant with live piano music etc. But the vibe of the second date was kind of strange, she seemed to be extremely tired and not in a very good mood. I see this as a mistake on my side, Monday evening is probably generally not a good time for a date, people are usually most tired from work on this day. And it was probably too close to the first date, which was on Saturday. After the second date, on Tuesday morning, we texted each other again and she agreed to meet again and promised to contact me later during the day, so we can work out the details... And I have not heard from her anything since then. On Tuesday evening I sent her a message, no reply. I sent her a message today, no reply.

Personally I think that it's over. She made up her mind not to see me again and decided to seize all contact. I just cannot wrap my head around it. It seemed to me that everything was going well and even though the vibe of the second date was not as great as the first one I would not think that it could be a show-stopper. And I do not get it why she seized all contact. If she would have written me that she does not want to meet me again I would understand and it would be much easier for me to move on without any doubts about the situation. (And I know that she has read all of my messages since we were chatting over an app which has a read-receipt feature.)

I think I should not contact her anymore because that would push her even more away. Is there something better I can do right now? Can you see more mistakes on my side? What would generally be a good time interval between the first and the second date?

Thanks.

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There’s nothing you did wrong so don’t over analyze. That just comes with dating. She’s either not feeling it and doing a slow fade or she’s busy. But if your gut says she won’t contact you again it’s probably right.

 

I’m sorry this happened op

Don’t contact her anymore the ball is in her court.

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If I were in her shoes, it would’ve been a little offsetting to go to such a romantic place on only date number 2.

 

Thanks, that's a good point! The restaurant was a random restaurant at the end of the walk though, I did not plan on the romantic setting... I guess bad luck. :-)

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If I were in her shoes, it would’ve been a little offsetting to go to such a romantic place on only date number 2.

 

If you wanted to take her to a romantic place, thats fine. Some people aren't comfortable with that some people aren't comfortable kissing after 10 dates. The point is you just behaved as you normally would and thats great.

 

She's not interested, it sucks sometimes when people do the slow fade and aren't direct in letting you know how they are feeling, because its confusing reading between the lines especially for men who are used to being direct. Just imagine if the roles were reversed and she wanted to see you again but you weren't interested. You could tell her that and then wait for some negative response or ignore her and let her figure it out on her own.

 

There is also a possibility that she is interested but just not enough to put much effort into contacting you. That's how it goes with dating especially online, sorry.

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This is a good point. Unfortunately a lot of online dating is a one-and-done situation. Often everyone is meeting new people and then just disappear, no matter what you do. All you can do in this situation is ask for a third date, text about it, but if there is no reply all you can do is move on.

There is also a possibility that she is interested but just not enough to put much effort into contacting you. That's how it goes with dating especially online, sorry.

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No worries. It gets tiresome to overthink if what your doing is too much, not enough, or analyzing situations. You took her on a nice date at a nice restaurant because you wanted to. It’s totally fine. I shouldn’t have said it would be offsetting to me.!i would’ve been surprised, but it definetely wouldn’t have been any issue. I think you did good. The reason for her ghosting you has nothing to do with you, guaranteed. It’s all on her. Move on and count your blessings that you weren’t emotionally invested in her.

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shouldn't put a time interval on first and second dates just really try to pay attention to how she's feeling in the moment, you noted that she was in a very bad mood during the date and then assumed it was cuz you brought her there, when in reality it could have been so many things. and if you would've asked you could have known right away and not have to overthink it or at the very least come across as thoughtful. crazy to think that you gave up all hope of contacting her but never picked up the phone to call her, i do think it would be a little to much to attempt calling her after she's knowingly left your texts on read, but if she ever replies there is nothing wrong with offering her a nonthreathening conversation over the phone that would at the very least help her get her mind off of what she's been stressing about all day.

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shouldn't put a time interval on first and second dates just really try to pay attention to how she's feeling in the moment, you noted that she was in a very bad mood during the date and then assumed it was cuz you brought her there, when in reality it could have been so many things. and if you would've asked you could have known right away and not have to overthink it or at the very least come across as thoughtful. crazy to think that you gave up all hope of contacting her but never picked up the phone to call her, i do think it would be a little to much to attempt calling her after she's knowingly left your texts on read, but if she ever replies there is nothing wrong with offering her a nonthreathening conversation over the phone that would at the very least help her get her mind off of what she's been stressing about all day.

 

Or, maybe she is not interested.

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