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Look, he sounds like a kind of guy I can relate to because I've been him.


Decent-ish dude, confident, independent, etc. but who bolsters a part of his identity through female attention/affection. In other words: not as confident and independent as he seems.


Which, hey, fine. We're all insecure, even Ryan Gosling.


But you need to set the right boundaries, and treat people with respect. Texting with an ex, meeting up, seeing about friendship—that's allowed, if not ideal, inside of a relationship. You need to be open with your partner from the get go, involve her, and respect if it's not something that's comfortable.


But the "maybe something down the line part"—well, that's basically the sharp edge of his broken piece that he hasn't confronted. He might not even be interested in getting back together with her, but he likes to have that pot simmering for ego gratification. He hasn't learned how to just live without that potential simmer. And so when he texts you "fair enough" that's basically him saying he doesn't have the stones to look closely at himself, own himself, admit to the broken piece and take steps toward making it less sharp so it doesn't keep messing with a good thing.


But whatever: that's him, he's done. I would take a good second here to explore what you're drawn to in these men, because it's clearly not a quality you're completely unfamiliar with. You get the needing attention stuff, have engaged in some ex texting yourself.

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he told me he had been single by Choice for 2 years after a 2 year relationship


Two years moping and pining after her, not getting over it, and then starting a relationship would still be a rebound. But that's just speculation.


Also, honeymoon periods differ, but after 9 months, maybe it wore off for him and he was sizing up his options.


Anyway you broke up with him, because you were unhappy with his actions.


You told him you didn't want to talk to him when he reached out to chat after giving you some time and space.


I don't think he is indifferent, but he is respecting your stated position. Maybe he reads the internet and has decided to go NC. Or already did, but watched one of those video coaches who tell you 21 days NC is long enough - and found out for himself that that is nonsense.

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I was very careful when I began dating men again, not ignoring red flags, etc.


How long was he broken up with his ex before the two of you started dating?


EDIT: you answered this above.


Most of dating is learning whether someone is a good match for us. Most people are NOT. That doesn't sentence you to a solo life, it just challenges your resilience.


My heart goes out to you, and hold your head high. The guy showed himself to be unworthy of you, and that's not a reflection on you.

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And then he text me last night and asked if we could get together for a talk sometime. I told him I have nothing to say to him. He said “fair enough” and disappeared.

I guess I’m wondering if he’s feeling indifference towards me with his swift “fair enough” comment and NC. What do you think?


I'm gonna answer your original question.


I think his "fair enough" comment meant he acknowledges the fact you are still very hurt (and angry), and he has chosen to let it go and not push it, and let you heal.


It doesn't necessarily mean he's indifferent, he most likely still cares on some level and feels a sense of guilt, but his feelings for you are not strong enough to warrant a reconciliation.

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