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Am I rejected after the first date?


Sevtapbeauty92
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I met this guy on a dating app, he texted me a little everyday for a few days and was always the one to start texting, then he asked to meet, so we met on Saturday, he seemed very serious about finding someone, and I really liked him. I thought the date went well, we even both took a popular personality test and got the same result. We spent the first half of the date at a coffee shop, then I had to respond to a text from my mom so I apologized for texting, he said "oh do you need to go or something?", so I said "yes" because it had already been 3 hours, and then while we were walking back to our cars, he said "it was very nice seeing you, find us some activities to do the next time we meet" then he said that he has an exam soon, so next weekend he will be studying, so he said "we will see eachother again in 1 or 2 weeks maybe, but we will continue texting in the meantime" then he said "do you have time today to stay a little longer and get dinner?", since I knew I wasn't going to see him again soon because he will be studying, I said "yes, sure", so we went for dinner, and he paid for it despite me offering to pay, and after it was over, he said thank you for your time and he said we will find a time to go out again. When I came back home, I didn't send him a thank you mssg since I had already thanked him during the date and wasn't sure if sending him a message as well would make me come off as too eager/desperate, but now it's been 2 days and he hasn't texted/called etc..! Today, he was off due to labor day but he still didn't text, should I take this as a rejection?

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To be honest, any guy who was interested in me and was trying to get me to like him back tried really hard. They would text me every day, reply quickly, keep asking me out, etc. This guy will probably text you in a few days but do you really wanna go out with someone who doesn't seem that eager to see you quickly or message u? I would recommend not msging him at all

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There’s a weird dating rule where some people like to wait 2 days to text again after a date. I’m not saying I like it or agree with it, but I’m saying it exists.

 

If he purposely extended the date and took you for dinner, my guess is he is following this rule. Or he’s busy. Or he’s dating multiple people and he got distracted (this happens online).

 

My bet is he will text tomorrow.

 

If he doesn’t, it’s up to you if you want to text him and see what’s up or just let it go.

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It's unclear if he is super interested in you or not, but do you need to know exactly how he feels about you after only one date? And even if he didn't text you or want to go out ever again, why would that be considered a "rejection"? Sometimes the spark isn't there. Sometimes people go on a date and realize they aren't ready to get back out there. The list of explanations that have nothing to do with you goes on.

 

It sounds to me like you're a little bit too worried/invested about someone you hardly know yet, which will lead to a disproportionately disappointed response if the two of you don't work out. Try to go with the flow a bit more in the early stages and stop worrying about what he thinks of you. Oh, and for the record you initiating communication is only needy if you act desperately and freak out if he doesn't respond in the time frame you hope for. Send a text or don't, but then let it go and accept whatever happens.

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There's nothing too eager about thanking someone again for treating you on a date. "Thanks again for Sunday. I had a great time. I was thinking we could do [x activity] on [x day]." Seems he was assertive and doing his part in making the first date work. Time to meet him half way.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Hey everyone, just wanted to update you on what happened in case you go through a similar situation in the future, so I texted him since as you know he wasn't reaching out and he texted back immediately and asked me whether I watched the movies he told me about during the date, and then a couple of days later, he initiated texting, and he did so again for the next few days, then all of the sudden he disappeared again for 8 days now and I am pretty sure he will never talk again, even the weekend passed and he didn't ask if we can go out again like he said we would during the first date. It's time for me to move on :)

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Hey everyone, just wanted to update you on what happened in case you go through a similar situation in the future, so I texted him since as you know he wasn't reaching out and he texted back immediately and asked me whether I watched the movies he told me about during the date, and then a couple of days later, he initiated texting, and he did so again for the next few days, then all of the sudden he disappeared again for 8 days now and I am pretty sure he will never talk again, even the weekend passed and he didn't ask if we can go out again like he said we would during the first date. It's time for me to move on :)

 

 

I'm sorry to hear what you went through. I went through something very similar but it took months to up to and over a year to find out. You see, if a person is interested in you. They MAKE DATES to see you. If in future you have a first date and they NEVER FOLLOW UP on a second date you most likely know your answer.

 

The girl I was trying to see would agree to dates and then reschedule them. She was a chef and worked up to 60 hours a week. It wasn't until later on I found out she was another time waster. If a guy cant make dates for you its likely hes not that into you.

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