Jump to content

Do you think there's a chance we could get back together?


jeremiahsain

Recommended Posts

I'v been through all these exact same feelings with my ex and you reacting is what she is looking for trust me. If you send her an angry text she will use it against you with mutual friends. She will make herself the victim of your aggression " OMG look at this vile text Jeremiah sent me, i already told him i'd be sending the blazer this weekend coming, whats his problem, whys he being like this? etcc etc"

 

End of the day its upto you, i chose to simply vanish from my ex's life and 6 weeks later i was over our 5 year relationship to a large extent. Especially when the truth stared coming out.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 420
  • Created
  • Last Reply
I'v been through all these exact same feelings with my ex and you reacting is what she is looking for trust me. If you send her an angry text she will use it against you with mutual friends. She will make herself the victim of your aggression " OMG look at this vile text Jeremiah sent me, i already told him i'd be sending the blazer this weekend coming, whats his problem, whys he being like this? etcc etc"

 

End of the day its upto you, i chose to simply vanish from my ex's life and 6 weeks later i was over our 5 year relationship to a large extent. Especially when the truth stared coming out.

 

Couldn't care less if she cries wolf to be fair, entirely up to our mutuals to make their minds up. But yeah, I'm torn between just totally cutting her out from my life now, or sending a text calling her out for her BS in a last ditch attempt to get her off her arse and send me my damn belongings. I guess that is irrational though and I should attempt to swallow my anger, but damn do I want to just rant at her right now!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I get how you are feeling but nothing good will come out of unleashing on her. She will manipulate it and turn it around on you. Just walk away with your head held high and let time work its magic.

 

Fair, I'll grit my teeth .. problem is while she has the blazer she also has an excuse to contact me down the line, it's one of the reasons why I just want the damn thing back.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

If you write the blazer off you can block her completely and she can't contact you anymore.

 

She's already blocked .. I dunno if one of my mutuals will pass on a message if she says 'It's about the blazer' though, I'll tell them not to unless it's literally just a message saying she's sent it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Do you have roommates or live at home?

 

Live at home, just got back from Uni, we were both sleeping in the top room and she used the draw next to her bed to keep some stuff. It's possible she just threw it in with all her stuff but I really doubt it, since she left a couple of other things behind. She's the only one who has been in there so it's definitely her who took them.

 

It was an untouched pack, only about £10 but still, it's not nice to have something just taken from your room, especially something like that and feels especially weird considering I'm basically paying for her to have safe sex with whatever guy she's with next. Again, I get that that isn't my business anymore but the irrational, angry side of me kinda wants to send her a formal text demanding the return of my damn property or she can send me some money as compensation. Don't see why she should just walk away with this stuff tbh.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

At least you know she is practicing safe sex back home.🐇🐇

 

Yeah ... great thought isn't it?

 

Such a weird thing to take. I feel like it's too weird for her to have done it purposely knowing I bought them, and maybe she did just chuck them in forgetting I bought them (in the past she had paid and I imagine she was in a rush to get packed).

 

But yeah, I did pay for them, and I'm not happy ..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You used the blazer as an excuse to remain in contact with her. Now you're trying to use a box of condoms?

 

I hope you can appreciate how ridiculous that is.

 

Yeah, you're going to say that's not what it is. But you said the same thing about the blazer.

 

Just no. Let it go, she will not admit guilt or apologize but rather guilt trip you until YOU apologize.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You used the blazer as an excuse to remain in contact with her. Now you're trying to use a box of condoms?

 

I hope you can appreciate how ridiculous that is.

 

Yeah, you're going to say that's not what it is. But you said the same thing about the blazer.

 

Just no. Let it go, she will not admit guilt or apologize but rather guilt trip you until YOU apologize.

 

 

Nah mate, I'm not going to contact her about it, I'm just annoyed she took them. The irrational part of me wanted to have a rant at her about that and the blazer but I cooled it down, I'm not actually going to reach out to her about it. I admit to using the blazer before to contact her because I wanted her back, but right now I'm just angry and was looking to lash out a bit. Of course I can see how ridiculous it is (it's very silly) but I dunno, I guess I just don't like my stuff being taken/not returned, but I do know that if I have a go at her for it she will not admit guilt, it'll be a 'mistake' and she'll play the victim.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I do, but it's kinda hard, I'm going through a bit of a rollercoaster at the moment. It's gone from being super lonely/sad, to at the moment just being angry at her.

 

 

Thats fine and normal to feel like that but its important to let go. Some days you will miss her, some days you will hate her and both are fine. I've been apart from ex for 6 months now and dont think of her most days today she was all over 'memories' on my facebook and they were really good memories. I missed her for a nanosecond and then remembered how she acted at the end and i just went to feeling nothing towards her again. It just takes time, literally.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thats fine and normal to feel like that but its important to let go. Some days you will miss her, some days you will hate her and both are fine. I've been apart from ex for 6 months now and dont think of her most days today she was all over 'memories' on my facebook and they were really good memories. I missed her for a nanosecond and then remembered how she acted at the end and i just went to feeling nothing towards her again. It just takes time, literally.

 

Yeah, I decided not to contact and that is that. Not worth having a go at her over the blazer, whilst I want it back it's been a problem in terms of keeping me thinking about her so I need to just drop it. Really can't believe it's come to the point where she can't be bothered to just post something, but I guess that's life.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

She isn't going to suddenly start being considerate of others, unfortunately. She's made it all the way to adulthood without doing anything she doesn't want to do. She won't start now.

 

But you don't have to remain stuck.

 

 

I guess I was just naive enough to think that after holding her hand throughout her many breakdowns at Uni, being there for her whenever she wanted, making her food etc so she could focus on essays, she would at least appreciate me enough to keep to her word about something so simple and easy. I don't expect much from her (nothing now, really) but it's honestly a case of if she can't be bothered/is depressed, just give it to one of her parents and I know they would do it. Her dad is a postman .

 

Worst of all, she used a sick relative to excuse her laziness. Like honestly, what won't she stoop to so she can avoid sending a damn blazer? It's just disgusting, honestly at this point I do wonder if it is just her CBA attitude because even for her it's pretty extreme to turn to that rather than just palm it off on a parent, I mean for 3 weeks there hasn't been a single time she's gone out and just thought 'might as well take it with me' ???

 

I don't know if she just enjoys having a bit of power, because whilst she has it she knows I'll get in contact as I have done twice, and both times she's steered the conversation in other directions. Like, she's lazy but it would surely be easier to (like I said) give it to her dad to post, rather than having me message her every week about it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It is easier for her to get rid of it but she donest want too because shes hoping it gives her some leverage over you to play games over and remain on your mind and its worked. Time to let it go, all of it.

 

 

I don't get that though. She broke up with me, she decided she no longer wanted to be with me, so why does she want to remain on my mind/want leverage? That just doesn't make sense with me, it's so damn sick.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

so why does she want to remain on my mind/want leverage? That just doesn't make sense with me, it's so damn sick.

 

I think you are giving her way too much power here.

Maybe the jacket just doesn't even cross her mind.

 

Just because this feels like an all out power play to you, it doesn't mean it's the same experience for her.

 

Just try to stop yourself when you catch yourself mind reading because honestly, you do not know her motivation for not having gotten around to sending it back. Maybe it just doesn't seem important to her.

 

And if she's holding out because she knows you will be twisting in the wind over it, then she wins because she's messing with you and succeeding at it. Take your power pack, drop the jacket and go buy yourself a new one. Rise above it and be done with it.

 

End of story.

. . .but wait, you don't want it to end, because this is your last tie to her. If you look at it this way, it isn't about the jacket afterall.. . but you have so much as admitted to that.

So, why exactly are we still going on about the jacket?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think you are giving her way too much power here.

Maybe the jacket just doesn't even cross her mind.

 

Just because this feels like an all out power play to you, it doesn't mean it's the same experience for her.

 

Just try to stop yourself when you catch yourself mind reading because honestly, you do not know her motivation for not having gotten around to sending it back. Maybe it just doesn't seem important to her.

 

And if she's holding out because she knows you will be twisting in the wind over it, then she wins because she's messing with you and succeeding at it. Take your power pack, drop the jacket and go buy yourself a new one. Rise above it and be done with it.

 

Possibly, but I've reminded her three times now, and each time she has promised to send it that week. It doesn't need to be important or on her mind to have sent it in the three weeks since we broke up, I get that it's more important to me than to her, but we've had relatively long conversations since the breakup and it has come up every single time. Last time we spoke she assured me she had 'not forgotten about it', yet as soon as I stated I don't think we can be friends, I have heard nothing since. I honestly think it is a power play for her.

 

It doesn't need to be a big deal for her to have dealt with it, it would literally be a case of handing it to her dad who could post it for her. She already has it packaged etc (she's said this) so it's the easiest thing in the world for her to do, yet she hasn't done it despite being reminded. That doesn't seem odd to you? For a long while I did just think it was her laziness/CBA attitude, but she's used me bringing up the blazer to try and have a conversation with me twice now.

 

Problem with buying a new one (I said this earlier in the thread) is that I'm a student, I just graduated and only have part-time work. It's the most expensive item of clothing I own and I really can't replace it easily, I use it for interviews and special events etc (my graduation, sisters wedding etc). She knows this because she went to these events with me .. she knows it's something I care about.

 

Also, I previously admitted it wasn't about the jacket, but it honestly is now. I just want it back. I've tried every option to get it back, it's been 3 weeks, I admit that at first I was using it as a reason to try and contact her but now I'm just angry that she has something of mine which I value. I've blocked her on everything and as soon as she sends it I have no interest in talking to her again, I just want her to do it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


  • Top Discussions this Week

  • Our picks

    • How To Make A Woman Want You Sexually (Guide To Building Her Interest And Sexual Attraction)
      Learn how to make a woman want you sexually! In today's video we're talking about sexual attraction and how you make a woman want you! We're going to be discussing some useful tips you can put to work to get a woman interested in you and building that sexual desire. Often men think they know exactly what women want, men in sports cars with big houses a big wallet and a bad boy attitude. This might be what the ladies want in movies but not in real life it's very different. To know what a lady wants you need to understand what you need to do to make her want you sexually. Imagine if you knew the secret formula to do this, the one that tells you exactly what women want sexually. The formula would let you know exactly what you need to do to get a woman to fall into your arms, sounds too good to be true right? Well it's not! It's as easy as being mindful of your own behaviour and adopting steel-proof boundaries. Want to know some more? Well don't move an inch.

       
      • 0 replies
    • How to know when he's really fallen in LOVE
      You’re falling in love with your man deeper every day, but you don’t know if he feels the same way for you. It’s natural to want to know his feelings for you. What happens when he doesn’t say it or he’s not the type to say that? His actions tell you he loves you, but you could be wrong, right? So how do you know when he’s really in love with you? It’s not always so easy, but it’s not impossible either!

       
      • 0 replies
    • 6 Psychological Secrets of Attraction
      Knowing whether or not someone is “into you” can be incredibly difficult if they don’t explicitly say it. In this video, we will be looking at some psychological secrets of attraction.

       
      • 0 replies
    • This Healing Mindset That Helps Overcome Trauma Symptoms
      If you grew up with neglect and abuse, you've needed time to talk about what happened, and how parents and others treated you. But THEN what? Once you've acknowledged the past and gained an understanding of how you developed symptoms of trauma, how can you overcome those symptoms, and move forward with building a happy and fulfilled life? In this video I teach about the two general categories of comments I see on my channel, and what that suggestions about the commenter's readiness to heal.

       
      • 0 replies
    • "I Want A Girlfriend" Do THIS First
      I want a girlfriend. Have you ever found yourself thinking "I want a girlfriend" but you're not quite sure if you're actually ready for one? Before you go about doing anything else it's important to make sure that you actually need a girlfriend right now.

       
        • Like
      • 0 replies
×
×
  • Create New...