I need advice desperately...

[reinventmyself 996]

Just to play devils advocate here. . What if he's compelled by some moral conscious to not agree on terminating the pregnancy?

Anything is possible.

Just consider all angles before you decide.

You may have some complications on your hands you hadn't considered

[superfan 219]

You seem certain of your decision to get an abortion.

 

You are not in a relationship with this man, and you wish him happiness with his current partner.

 

You also are not planning on asking for money/emotional support for the abortion.

 

Therefore, I don't see a reason to tell him about the abortion. You know he doesn't want kids, and you don't want this child.

 

Take care of yourself, and leave him to his relationship. You will accomplish nothing by telling him, except to stir up drama. This is your body and your decision.

[boltnrun 1,459]

He would most likely feel obligated to tell his girlfriend.

 

Since it's likely you are only a few weeks pregnant there had to have been some overlap there unless he met and asked her to be his girlfriend in a month's time (which is possible of course).

 

Just be aware that if you do choose to tell him it absolutely will impact his relationship.

 

Are you at peace with that?

[annie24 1,219]

Whatever you decide, good luck with the decision. I can see good reasons why you should tell him and reasons why you should not, but ultimately, you know him best and how he would react.

 

I hope from now on you use a reliable form of birth control and condoms as well. You don't know what his history is with his girlfriend, and who else she is sleeping with or has been sleeping with. STIs travel in webs.

[bluecastle 998]

If you feel he's a close friend and you feel that NOT telling him would somehow create distance, then tell him.

 

If you feel you can go through with the abortion and move on with your life, there's really no reason. You won't get any moral wrist-slapping from me. These things happen, and I wish you all the best in dealing with it.

[reinventmyself 996]

These things happen, and I wish you all the best in dealing with it.

 

same here.

good luck.

[ThatwasThen 723]

If I was a male and was involved in a FWB situation and the girl was 100% getting an abortion. Why in the name of all that is good would I want to know? If she was keeping it then yes, tell me so I can step up to the plate but I don't need to know someone is terminating something neither of us wanted to happen. Just get it done and get on with our lives without one another in each others.

 

I'm pro choice however and frankly, I think it's selfish to tell under the circumstances.

[shellyf62 176]

I am still on the "dont tell him" team.

 

What he said before & what he says when faced with the information could be 2 different things.

 

What if he gets all excited about being a Dad? What is he gets all clingy & needy & wants you to have the baby? This could turn into a huge drama, you wanting to abort, him saying "no you cant".

 

Just something to think over.

[ThatwasThen 723]

I am still on the "dont tell him" team.

 

What he said before & what he says when faced with the information could be 2 different things.

 

What if he gets all excited about being a Dad? What is he gets all clingy & needy & wants you to have the baby? This could turn into a huge drama, you wanting to abort, him saying "no you cant".

 

Just something to think over.

Wade vs Roe all over again.

[Wiseman2 2,772]

Agree there will be a lot of drama if she tells him. Mostly a disruption in his relationship with his gf, but that may be the reason for this disclosure. He has no standing in this as it's not proven it's his since they are not in a relationship. In general he would have no say in it either way.

him saying "no you cant".