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Exercises for healing


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Hi all,

 

Divorces and break ups happens in 1001 different ways. But understanding some parts of a Break up seems to help the healing proces. Instead of understanding, "experiencing" the break up with the help of exercises would be very helpfull.

 

Writing down, Visualisation etc

 

Any other members have learned exercises to heal from a break up?

 

Would be nice if it will be shared here.

 

Kr,

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Well, the best way to get over a relationship is to keep busy and distract yourself. Get out and walk about your city. Talk to people in cafes and on the street. Go out and run or go to the gym to work out. Hang out with friends and family. You want to keep up a busy schedule of doing stuff every day so you're not thinking of your ex and you're writing over those old memories with new memories. Get out of your apartment and try not to be alone.

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I have to respectfully disagree with the advice of distraction. From what I’ve been reading over the last 6 months, it’s vital that you go THROUGH the grief and feel all of the feelings. The danger is that you avoid it and end up with unresolved or complicated grief. This can carry over to the next relationship, cause mistrust, depression, anxiety, etc.

 

Here’s a good podcast that talks about it...

 

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mean-lady-talking-podcast/id1384292883?mt=2&i=1000418256719

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I have to respectfully disagree with the advice of distraction. From what I’ve been reading over the last 6 months, it’s vital that you go THROUGH the grief and feel all of the feelings. The danger is that you avoid it and end up with unresolved or complicated grief. This can carry over to the next relationship, cause mistrust, depression, anxiety, etc.

 

Here’s a good podcast that talks about it...

 

https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/the-mean-lady-talking-podcast/id1384292883?mt=2&i=1000418256719

 

I agree that you should go through the grief as this is important to heal, however, I think that it gets to a point where it helps having hobbies and hanging around with people. What I don't think that helps is just getting mindlessly busy with no purpose as an avoiding mechanism because then when you're alone or not busy it all hits you again. I found it helps being busy yes, but with a purpose like reaching a goal, getting better at something, helping someone, etc.

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Yes, the emotions are there whether we like it or not. They will find a way to express themselves. It can be through grieving or through other things like sex, drugs, alcohol, anxiety, etc. It is SO hard to grieve properly (at least for me). I heard something helpful. It said that you have to give yourself permission to feel as bad as you need to. That goes against the common advice of moving on quickly and keeping your chin up. Somehow we tried to toughen up and got it all wrong.

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