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I met my partner about two years ago, and I lived in a house which is mine (which is mortgaged), and she lived 30 miles away in rented accommodation. After the first year of the relationship, she said she wanted kids (as she was 40) and I said no because I didn't know her long enough to bring in another life into the world.


In the second year of our relationship, I moved into her rented accommodation and I pay for all the food bills plus I still have to pay all the bills on my mortgaged property. She pays all the bills/rent on the rented place.


Her mum has passed away and left her a house (mortgage free) which is about 200 miles away. Now my partner has to pay bills for her rented place and pays minor bills on her new house 200 miles away.


She has now said, that I should sell my house and move the contents of my house into storage, then one day move from the rented house and buy a house together.


I earn triple a month on what she earns, but when she sells her mums house, she will be wealthier than me.

We both don't want to get married.


So the question is, should I sell my house or should she move into my house from the rented accommodation?

Do you think because I live in the rented accommodation 7 days a week and I pay all the food bills and going out bills, and she pays or the regular bills that that is fair?

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You never addressed the final decision on children, although now she's 41, she might not be able to conceive. You should be addressing that issue first, and if she can't conceive would you both be willing to seek other means to becoming parents. Or have you both decided not to have children? You need to both be on the same page on that major issue before deciding to make any more major decisions together.


If you see yourself being forever partners, I would think the best solution would be to sell each of your properties and buy a house together. Otherwise, if she moved into your house, she might feel like she isn't earning any equity without the property in her name even though she's contributing financially to the household, and that might build resentment.

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Is your mortgaged property left empty, or can you rent it out to gain an additional source of income? Similarly, is her house left empty, or could it be rented out - the income from both effectively financing your current situation?


Her suggestion that you sell your house and put all your furniture into storage makes no sense financially. House prices continue to rise, but you wouldn't get the benefit of that; meanwhile, you'd still have to pay for storage and it's a cost which can really mount up if you remain in this situation for any length of time.


It also makes more sense for you both to move to a house where you're not paying rent (which is effectively throwing money down the drain), whether that's your mortgaged one or hers owned outright. If you don't feel ready to buy a house together but wish to benefit from house price inflation, then either or both of you could buy somewhere locally as a financial investment. Depending on the value of the property and house price inflation in your area, and also how much you might stand to earn in rent, you could decide whether it would make more sense to move into one of them, or rent it/them out.


I appreciate that there may be other considerations, like where each of you works and how far you'd have to travel, but it does seem strange that you are both property owners but are currently paying rent!

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I'm sensing this might not be your "forever" relationship. She should sell off her mother's house and use her money to buy a house or a condo. You should keep your house just in case. Just buying the food is a pretty good deal. You would have to pay rent or a mortgage wherever you live. So your house is a good investment whether you're living there or not. As nutbrownhare said, you could rent it out but have it if the relationship breaks up.

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Why did you move in with her in a rented place rather than she move in with you and pay you rent? Just curious.

I moved into the rented place because she has a business near her rented place and all of her clients are close to her. Also, her father lives close to her as well.


My family and job are close to my house but I decided to move anyway.

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No. Do not sell your place. She has a lot of work ahead of her with her mothers estate. You are not married and her property will never be your property. You'll be her tenant and that is a horrible position to put yourself in. Plus a lot of headaches with your current place, storage etc.


Keep your home and move back in there. Let her move into her mothers house and sort all that out. It sounds like she won't be able to afford the upkeep and that's the only reason she's with you. Also, you are quite incompatible regarding kids, etc.

should I sell my house or should she move into my house from the rented accommodation?

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