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So some context... My girlfriend was suspicious of me cheating on her with a old friend(female I have no history with) from college that came into town and decided to meet up with. I informed her of my plans but she was still outraged that I had done so. My friend had to come to my place before I called her cab home and my gf was livid thinking I've been caught in the act or something. Her bags are already packed so I'm trying to explain to her the situation.We argue about it that night and came to a resolution. I explained that my friend is in town for one more day and so I don't just leave them hanging and then I won't do anything like this again, my girlfriend agrees. My girlfriend and I make plans to see eachother the following day and move on.

 

Later in the evening my gf texts me telling me she needs to talk and makes me cancel what I'm doing to come back home to talk to her. She decideds that she wants to break up with me. Obviously I'm upset but I'm more so confused because I thought we sorted things out. The following morning she's knocking on my door and asking to talk some more. She still doesn't believe I had no intentions to sleep with this other girl so demands to see my phone. Again there was never any intentions so there was nothing to hide. She reveals that she had trust issues from past relationships and with me even though I've never actually given her a reason too.

 

So she is begging to get back with me saying she messed up

But she is leaving for Italy in 3 weeks to play basketball for most of the year.

Should I get back with her?

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I would say no, don't get back with her. She is showing signs of being controlling and manipulative, and of trying to isolate you from your friends. These kinds of actions just intensify with time. It's the first sign of emotional abuse: accusing you of cheating on her. Where she's going to be gone for most of the year, it's just not worth it. You should find someone nice who isn't so insecure and needy that she freaks out when you're meeting a friend. You don't need the grief and misery this usually turns into. Just walk away.

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That's up to you, I wouldn't say it's malicious, she has insecurity issues and you keep placating her, for example leaving your friends. This is going to sound horrible and heaven forgive me: She won't leave you. She keeps going back and forth absolutely manic, and you react to it because you're taking the manic behavior seriously, and clearly she's not, she's the girl who can't handle her anxiety so she cries wolf. If you insist on staying with her, set your boundaries,

 

"Hey, this isn't healthy, get in control of your anxiety because if you pull this again, I'm out. "

 

She will either realize you aren't going to put up with her anxiety antics or she will do this again, at which point if you stay it's your funeral because her behavior while not malicious will do damage to you as well in the long run.

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This girl has high interest and does not like competition. Relationships where the female has high interest are the best to be in.

 

I would try and get back with this one.

 

You made her question your level of commitment by getting together with a female friend. Apologize, tell and show her your level of commitment. Start discussing taking the relationship to the next level and she will follow you. See if you can get her to cancel Italy to be with you.

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Wow, the advice above me needs to be addressed. Do not try to get her to cancel her trip to Italy. She deserves to have that opportunity in her life, despite her behavior towards you.

 

I would also suggest staying broken up. Your ex needs to work through her baggage around trust issues before she can maturally participate in a serious romantic relationship. It is not your job to heal her or prove yourself. Splash some cold water on your feelings and realize that you deserve to be with someone who will let you spend time with friends that are important to you, male or female. Her leaving will create a lot of helpful distance for healing, so the two of you can move on.

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No, LDRs are a pain. And you can be assured she will do to you what you did to her...and then some.

My friend had to come to my place. she is leaving for Italy in 3 weeks to play basketball for most of the year.
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Hello JoshSteel, I am so sorry that you are going through this with your girlfriend. I know that it must be tough. I wish I could give you some advice or tell you what you should do, but I don’t know your situation well enough. That written, have you considered speaking with a friend or family member who know you and your gf? I do have a couple of thoughts/questions. First, how do you feel about how your gf acted toward you and your friend from college? Also, what are you looking for in a gf? Are you looking for a wife or just someone to have fun with?

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