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I did something intimate with my friends brother who is my roommate...Confused


Siantulipgir
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You are both single consenting adults so nothing either of you are doing is wrong. However, your angst seems to come from you being much more emotionally involved than he is.

 

No except it is wrong when he knows how I feel about him and is playing games. Sending me mixed messages. And Yes Wise I am feeling attached to him. I know he doesn't care as much as I do about him. But again why pay attention to me more than he has to. Why not just hit me up when he just wants s*x? Instead of acting like he likes me.

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You can say no but you choose not to.

 

All of this could stop if you put a stop to it, but you keep "hoping ".

 

You keep arguing that he must care about you.

 

Feel free to carry on, but it makes no sense to complain when you know what you're getting into.

 

It's not that easy to turn off my feelings for him. Just to stop it all.

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You are giving yourself mixed messages. You hope for something special yet are continually disgusted by the situation. How many times have you said "Ugh" in this thread? (27, count 'em.)

 

I didn't realize I said ugh that many times oh geez. When he makes a jerk remarks they are usually really big ones. How am I sending myself mixed messages? He sends me a mix message when he hugs me really hard and kisses me every morning. That's not something a guy does if you are just a booty call. Especially when I didn't sleep with him the night before. And he has to go out of his way to come into my room to do it. He could just walk out the door to leave for work period.

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But it's very common in many casual sex situations. Remember, people who have casual sex or fwb or flings don't hate each other.

He sends me a mix message when he hugs me really hard and kisses me every morning. That's not something a guy does if you are just a booty call.
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I didn't realize I said ugh that many times oh geez. When he makes a jerk remarks they are usually really big ones. How am I sending myself mixed messages? He sends me a mix message when he hugs me really hard and kisses me every morning. That's not something a guy does if you are just a booty call. Especially when I didn't sleep with him the night before. And he has to go out of his way to come into my room to do it. He could just walk out the door to leave for work period.

 

It's not that out of the way. Newsflash: Guys like to be liked! It doesn't matter if they don't like you as much as you like them. It can be quite a turn on to have a woman like you. So he's going to keep giving you mixed messages because you like him. And he's going to enjoy sex when you give it to him.

 

He likes you enough to stroke your ego every now and then to keep open the possibility of more; and likes tweaking your buttons because he knows how you feel about him.

 

He's not looking to settle down or limit himself to one woman any time soon (especially with whatever is going on with his (ex?) wife). So he's not forcing himself on you or completely dropping you when you reject him. So what. He is still not going to date you. And he is still mostly looking for sex. These things are not contradictions.

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How am I sending myself mixed messages?

Your mixed message to yourself is that you like him and you don't like him. When you hope for this relationship to mean something, don't forget to look at the big picture, which includes all of those "Ughhs". Those indicate that you don't like something about him. Look at the whole picture, not just the part that make you feel good. There is quite a bit you are not liking, and that is who he is, too.

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This guy sounds really sick, emotionally abusive, narcicisstic. Seems to have no respect for women and may take pleasure in causing women pain. Either that or he has a monstrously big ego and everything he does is about stroking his ego and his . Doesnt seem like he has an empathy or regard for you or probably any other women in his life. Get away from him ASAP.

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This guy sounds really sick, emotionally abusive, narcicisstic. Seems to have no respect for women and may take pleasure in causing women pain. Either that or he has a monstrously big ego and everything he does is about stroking his ego and his . Doesnt seem like he has an empathy or regard for you or probably any other women in his life. Get away from him ASAP.

 

he is not emotionally abusive. he's a dude that made a bad MUTUAL decision to have sex with a roommate and is not sure he really likes her or what it is -- but she keeps up her interest in him so he is just enjoying the ride -- she is the one who craves the attention and keeps seeking his. She could say "no" at any time. And she won't. He has no idea that he is causing her pain - she seems to be reveling in the attention . SHE IS THE ONE HURTING HERSELF by ruminating, by continuing to keep this inappropriate thing (because they are roommates) up. She acts strictly as a spectator in her own life and that is what is causing her grief.

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I know what everyone is going to say. But here is my latest update. So Bens sister invited me to a family party last Saturday night. I went Ben was there he seemed happy that I was there at the party. We ended driving back together in his car home. I did end up sleeping with him. I spent the whole night with him. And we spent the whole Sunday together. Went on the breakfast date like we were going to. Had a good time talking. He seemed different not acting like a jerk. Actually acting like I was more than just a screw in bed. He had a business dinner to go to tonight and told me he was going and when he would be back. I didn't ask for the info he offered to tell me. But when he got home he seemed irritated with me. He told me he needed to make a phone call. So I told him I was going to go have a cigarette while he was on his cell. He has a ear infection so he asked me to put drops in his ears for the second night in a row. I don't know why he brings me up and then drops me back down.

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