Breakup destroyed confidence

[Randomguy20551]

Hi all,

 

It has been over a year since the breakup between me and my ex girlfriend and since the breakup I have not been able to bounce back from it at all. I've been trying my best not to focus on her and to get out of the house and keep myself occupied and not think of her but it just gets to me everyday.

 

It reminds me of how much I'm missing out on and how I'll never meet anyone like her again (first girlfriend btw) this way of thinking leaves me really depressed and my confidence is at an all time low . I try my best but I just can't find a way to get her out of my head. I tried to numb the pain with video games but it only left me more depressed. I'm not really an outgoing or talkative person because my social skills are terrible (to be honest I don't know how I got a girlfriend in the first place). So moving on for me is difficult because I've tried to flirt with a girl before and it ended more embarrassing than anything .I have plenty of friends but I say only 2 girl friends out of all my friends. At my age (17) girls will rarely even notice me and that depressed me even further. Any advice on moving on and building confidence and social skills ?

[DanZee]

Are you going to college? Things usually change in college. Meanwhile, keep plugging away with getting out, hanging out with friends and so on. Girls don't want to hang around with depressed people, so you have to pull yourself out of your funk or you won't meet another nice girl again. You probably shouldn't flirt with girls. It's best to take the serious approach. Maybe your friends can suggest a girl you can take out on a date. It doesn't have to be too serious, just until you get your confidence back.

[Randomguy20551]

No I'm not in college yet and when school starts back up it is going to be my final year, that's true that girls don't wanna hang around depressed like people which is a fair point ,See the thing is I don't know how to have a conversation and I think this turns girls off. I live in a small area also and go to a small school (less than 200) so the number of girls is fairly limited

[BMP2CPM]

1) Most men don’t have girlfriends until much later. At 17, you are doing great! Myself, I didn’t have a girlfriend until my mid-20s.

 

2) Your value as a man increases with education, work experience, and career. Do well in these areas and you will attract women. Stay focused in school and go to college.

 

3) Read the book “How to win friends and influence people.” The book will change your life.

 

4) Stay fit, lift some weights. You don’t have to go crazy, focus on overall fitness. Buy a couple of nice pants and nice shirts. Wear them when you are out on special occasions. This will also attract women.