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Met up with ex-bf on Sunday night and now feel bad


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I know most of you will tell me that I was foolish for meeting my ex-bf after what he put me through for the last 6 months. It was totally my fault for being the doormat.

 

On Sunday morning, I received an email from the ex (since I blocked him on the phone). He said he wanted to meet up to apologize for his behavior for the past 6 months, and for dating others while trying to work things out with me. At first, I was apprehensive and thought meeting up would be a bad idea. But as the day went on, I thought to myself that I wanted/needed this apology so agreed to meet him for dinner.

 

He started off with an apology immediately when he saw me. Then the dinner continued with a light and fun conversation. He then told me that he still loves me and that he would like to continue to see me. I told him that it was a bad idea. But he persisted and I just left it at that and went home.

 

Now, 2 days later, I feel horrible. One because he hasn't reached out and two because I reopened old wounds.

 

Why would he tell me that he still loves me and wants to continue seeing me but yet not reach out? I guess perhaps I wasn't ready to completely let go but I feel horrible because I should want to let go after all that has happened.

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As was suggested in the last post you made, go NC and forget about this loser. He strung you along for six months while he played around. Even if he is "ready" to commit to you now, which you did not indicate is even the case, he doesn't deserve access to you after all he's done. You have validated his poor behavior by being open to his overtures and meeting up with him. Gain some self-respect and shut the door for good. I'm willing to bet even if you got what you've fought so hard for, you'd be disappointed by the reality of what a relationship with this man would be like. No one is worth all of the pain and drama you've put yourself through.

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Well, your boyfriend is back to what he wanted a month ago, that is to keep seeing you while dating other women.

 

Look, don't beat yourself up over meeting him. Just don't do it again. If he contacts you again, then just ignore him. He hasn't changed, but you have to change. Being single is better than being hurt all the time by this guy!

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I know most of you will tell me that I was foolish for meeting my ex-bf after what he put me through for the last 6 months. It was totally my fault for being the doormat.

 

On Sunday morning, I received an email from the ex (since I blocked him on the phone). He said he wanted to meet up to apologize for his behavior for the past 6 months, and for dating others while trying to work things out with me. At first, I was apprehensive and thought meeting up would be a bad idea. But as the day went on, I thought to myself that I wanted/needed this apology so agreed to meet him for dinner.

 

He started off with an apology immediately when he saw me. Then the dinner continued with a light and fun conversation. He then told me that he still loves me and that he would like to continue to see me. I told him that it was a bad idea. But he persisted and I just left it at that and went home.

 

Now, 2 days later, I feel horrible. One because he hasn't reached out and two because I reopened old wounds.

 

Why would he tell me that he still loves me and wants to continue seeing me but yet not reach out? I guess perhaps I wasn't ready to completely let go but I feel horrible because I should want to let go after all that has happened.

 

from what I got you told him you werent interested. Most guys cant read into your words so he probably took at face value

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So his new girl didn't work out, I take it. That is why he has come back now.

 

Stop giving this guy the ability to mess with your heart and mind. He isn't back for the right reasons, he didn't apologize for the right reasons, and will disappear again.

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What I don't understand is why he would try and go out of his way to apologize to me, say that he still loves me and wants to continue seeing me. Why would someone who does not have the right intentions even do this? My confusion is even more compounded by the fact that I feel I don't even know him anymore. Who he is today is definitely not the same guy I met 5 years ago. Can someone change this drastically?

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What I don't understand is why he would try and go out of his way to apologize to me, say that he still loves me and wants to continue seeing me. Why would someone who does not have the right intentions even do this? My confusion is even more compounded by the fact that I feel I don't even know him anymore. Who he is today is definitely not the same guy I met 5 years ago. Can someone change this drastically?

 

Because you're convenient, OP. He believes he can come to you for attention and sex, so he gave it a shot.

 

And he didn't really go out of his way. He sent an email, which takes very little effort. You accepted. Easy peasy.

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:( I am so upset at myself for allowing this to happen, again! Now, I'm down in the ruts and I can't stop thinking of him, what he said on Sunday.

 

This is why you need to stop responding to him, for good. It's bringing you nothing but heartache.

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It's your life sleepywillow, but we all think it is a mistake. There is no way this guy went through a massive character transformation in 3 months. Be happy he came crawling back and let it be the cushion that allows you to finally move on.

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I don't know why it's such a struggle to let go of someone who didn't treat me well at all during the last 6 months. Is this normal? Although I told him that it was a bad idea to keep in touch,. I think inside, I wanted him to be remorseful and to actually mean what he says. Am i crazy? I feel crazy today :(

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It makes sense in a weird way. When a filmmaker reads reviews of their latest movie, they are going to want to argue and convince the one negative review that they are wrong more than they will feel like thanking all of the people who wrote good reviews. But you are not going to convince that reviewer to change their mind, and it's not worth the energy you might spend. They just didn't like the movie.

 

He just didn't care enough to treat you right, and that's not something to try to change about him, or to feel bad about yourself for.

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You can't move forward because you keep responding to his contact.

 

My guess is, he's finding that sex isn't as readily available as he thought. Booty isn't just falling into his lap. Maybe he's not the Super Stud he thought he was.

 

But...all that boils down to is, if you sleep with him it HAS to be while knowing that as soon as another woman catches his eye he'll be gone again.

 

And why did he say he loves you? Because he thought it would work and that you'd drop your clothes and give him some. Yes, that's mean...but he proved 6 months ago that your feelings mean nothing to him.

 

Are you ready now to stop trying to make this work?

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Yes boltnrun :( I am. I don't want to be used for sex. Luckily, I left right after dinner and didn't let him drive me home.

I guess I don't understand how a man who was with me for 5 years and who was deeply in love with me can become like this...I feel naive.

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He's not the one for you.

 

The right one for you would not and will not treat you like an option, would not insist you try out for the role of girlfriend and wouldn't insist you "change" in order to be worthy of him.

 

You will feel much better when he's completely out of your life.

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He is such a liar and manipulator :( Haven't heard a peep from him after all that. Should have never put my heart on the line and met up with him. I'm sad to see this is the way he chose to leave a 5 year relationship.

 

Well, no. You told him it wasn't a good idea. So of course he's going to stay away - and that's a good thing. This wouldn't have ended in Happily Ever After anyway.

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I know I am all over the place with my emotions. I understand very well that he is not right for me and that I shouldn't even entertain the idea of ever allowing him back in my life. But seeing him on Sunday really turned my resolve upside down :( What is wrong with me?

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