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Broke no contact now feel worse than ever


Bekki47
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We been broke up now 6 months but always kept in contact I have been no contact for 3 weeks as he told me all he can offer is friendship I told him I couldn't do it due to my feelings for him and wenot no contact. I have never gone longer than a month then I broke it again...I tried calling him but his phone just rang through I felt good knowing he hadn't blocked me like he usually does. Then sent him a text asking how he is but got no response. Today I sent him a message saying that I will be his friend because I'd rather h a very him in my life that way than nothing at all and to message me by if he wants the same but again nothing...I feel more crap than before. I don't know what's wrong with me.

 

Why I can't let go...why i miss him so much he hurt me so bad. I'm goin b to start day one again tomorrow and this time stick it out. People say no answer is your answer I think this is mine I feel so weak and I can't shift th his sad feeling.

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Just feel so stupid and rejected again. His mare told me today how he's spoken with him and they had a chat and I'm so sad because I'm blocked from everywhere and I never did the guy wrong. I thought me walking away from.him he would realise what he had but no but I don't know why I'm finding it hard to just move on from him we been split up more than we been together and looking back I see how crappie he treated me so why?..

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His mare told me today

 

He has a talking female horse? Where can I get one of those?

 

how he's spoken with him and they had a chat and I'm so sad because I'm blocked from everywhere and I never did the guy wrong. I thought me walking away from.him he would realise what he had but no but I don't know why I'm finding it hard to just move on from him we been split up more than we been together and looking back I see how crappie he treated me so why?..

 

Because you invested in the bolded above and it didn't pay off as you thought it would...

 

did you walk away in order to machine an outcome or did you walk away because the relationship you wanted wasn't going to happen and you'd be better off just leaving it and getting through this break up sooner than later?

 

The true reason as to why you walked away holds all the answers you're seeking.

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I held out for the 6 months and because we were talking throughout the breakup and he would go hot and cold. One minute he loves me then disappears saying he needs to be alone. Then we be talking over the phone having a laugh about old says then he's depressed and doesn't want to talk. I still had some kind of hope he might change his mind then i just asked him straight out if we should try again and he told me he would have to say no right now and that he chooses him self and fixing himself and told me to move on and be happy so I just decided enough is enough I gotta walk away but in my mind I thought he will either change his mind and miss me when I'm not about any more or I'll just move on....I think I have been through the bargaining and acceptance stage of break up this week.

 

At first I messaged him saying we can be friends and I would rather that then nothing but he didn't respond to now accepting it's done and deleting photos everything that I have on him and now just moving on

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I held out for the 6 months and because we were talking throughout the breakup and he would go hot and cold. One minute he loves me then disappears saying he needs to be alone. Then we be talking over the phone having a laugh about old says then he's depressed and doesn't want to talk. I still had some kind of hope he might change his mind then i just asked him straight out if we should try again and he told me he would have to say no right now and that he chooses him self and fixing himself and told me to move on and be happy so I just decided enough is enough I gotta walk away but in my mind I thought he will either change his mind and miss me when I'm not about any more or I'll just move on....I think I have been through the bargaining and acceptance stage of break up this week.

 

At first I messaged him saying we can be friends and I would rather that then nothing but he didn't respond to now accepting it's done and deleting photos everything that I have on him and now just moving on

 

Yes, that's probably best.

 

He does have good reasons for putting the relationship down right now. He knows that on some level, he's not where he wants to be and that requires him stopping and fixing things---and most likely what needs fixing has nothing to do with you nor can you help in this.

 

But do understand what your last text conveyed: you'll take his crumbs and a demotion to keep him in your life. Friends talk about their lives and their relationships. Are you saying you're cool with him calling you and gushing about the new girl he's dating? That's part of what friends talk about.

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Not really no. I would infact be upset if he was. We broke up due to the fact he has bad heath and anger issues which caused us to argue alot. He told me he still loved me that has never changed and he has to fix himself and get well again. He told me he isnt interested in any other woman, infact he hates them, that he wishes he could make things work with me but he has to choose himself now. so if i was to find that he already has another woman after telling me all this i would be really upset, plus we only been broken up six months and it was only a month ago he told me this. I excepted he needed to work on himself so i told him we could remain friends and hoping in the future when he is in a better place maybe trying again, but he has gone back to ignoring now when he asked me to be friends with him in the first place.

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They say they want to "be friends" and reconcile in the future so you won't cry as much. They fear an extreme emotional response (which is why these days so many people break up via text) so they think if they say those things it will make it easier on them.

 

And they always say they can't possibly imagine dating anyone else...until they do.

 

Please understand that he may not have been 100% truthful when he said those things. He wasn't necessarily lying, but trying to let you down easier either for his own comfort or for yours. Don't hold onto that as an absolute truth that will definitely happen.

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I know and that's what I had with him. I couldn't plan ahead because just didn't know if he would still be around and I didn't want to argue with him because just know he would pack up and leave me everything with a text saying it's over and then being blocked. I'm glad in a way I don't hav red to go through it any more. I feel like some of it was emotionally abuse and I keep telling myself it everyday to try help me move on but you can't help your feelings and I just feel for him but just know in the long run I'll be better off that's what my mind tells me. I mean 7 months we been broken up and we was only together 8...I've been in longer relationships it shouldn't be this hard.

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